Sasha purses her lips and turns her head away, but she doesn’t try to push me, and the realization sends a wave of liquid fire through my veins. She likes being completely in my power, and even now she can’t help it. God, she’s the hottest woman I’ve ever known.
I raise my hand to her chin, forcing her to turn back toward me, and when our eyes finally meet again, I see that her pupils are wider than before. It makes something in my chest grow, and I smirk, stroking her chin.
“So what do you think now, Alex?” I whisper into her lips and lean forward, pressing a kiss into her sealed lips. It won’t take long for her to admit her desire, so I close my eyes, tighten my embrace—
And the next moment, Sasha yanks her hands out of my grip and digs her nails into my face, making me stumble back with a cry of pain. Before I can come back to my senses, she aims her knee at my stomach and shoves me to the ground. I can hear her heavy breathing as she stops next to me, and I look up at her. What, is she gonna kill me now?
But finally, I can see something real on her face. Not the distant mask of a porcelain doll but a true blend of emotions. Anger, confusion, despair, pain…I see a hundred shades in the curve of her lips and the dark depth of her green eyes, and something in me aches in response.
“Alex,” I call her by her old name and try to get up—but like a rabbit startled by a sound, Sasha immediately steps away from me, turns around, and runs away. It takes her just a few seconds to disappear into the darkness guarding the entrance to the building.
I let out a deep sigh and slump back on the ground, wrapping my arm around my knee. Well, I should’ve expected this to happen. I touch my face and hiss from the scratch on my cheek. Sasha didn’t hold back, but does she ever?
I chuckle to myself and look at the lights of her car driving away in a hurry. I guess I got the answer to my offer—but I’m not ready to give up. Not yet. And as I watch her disappear, I realize that I want Sasha even more now. So I brush myself off, get up, and take out my phone, walking to the open doors of the building.
“Hey, Riccardo? Do you have a second to talk?”
Chapter 6 - Sasha
God, how could I be so stupid?
I grip the wheel tighter, staring at the luminescent lights of the road. My lips are still burning from Louis’s kiss, my body is trembling, and my heart is frantic and confused. Why did he call me by my old name? As if he doesn’t know that it was fake. Everything about me back then was fake—except for my feelings.
Yes, I was stupid enough to actually fall in love with Louis while I was on a mission in their territory.
What can I say? I was nineteen, naive, and dreaming of a man who would accept me with an eight-month-old baby on my hands. Misha was a fortunate consequence of an unfortunate one-night stand in high school, and even though I hadn’t seen his father since graduation, I was ready to spend the rest of my life taking care of him on my own.
Well, not entirely on my own—because at the time, Mom was still alive, and I still had someone to take care ofme. God, thinking about it now makes my heart ache because I never truly appreciated her support. I didn’t tell her how much I loved her, and when I realized it, it was already too late.
I take a sharp breath and only then realize how tight my throat is. Oh, damn it. I try to breathe out slowly and take control of the feelings pounding in my heart—and I catch myself sniffling. No,no, I’m not gonna cry a single tear because of this bastard. My grief and pain will not change what he’s already done.
So yes, nine years ago, Louis and I got to know each other, and even though I had to stay professional I couldn’t help myself. I fell madly in love with him. He was so charming, you know? Funny, kindhearted, handsome, and determined in his desire to get my attention.
Louis Messina was an enemy—but he easily found his way around my heart.
It took him a few weeks of dating to tear down my walls and make me believe that I could trust him. God, it was literally the worst mistake a spy can make—but I didn’t care. We were meant for each other, weren’t we? So I started dreaming about a bright future together, away from my sadistic Father and the bloody and meaningless war between our families.
But there was a catch—Louis had no idea who I really was. He didn’t know about my family and my son, he didn’t know I was Russian, and god, he didn’t even know my real name!
So one night, still in the afterglow of an orgasm, I decided to confess. Louis loved me, and I loved him—of course he would understand and accept me! Thankfully, at the last moment, I imagined Yuriy’s wrath if I destroyed his plans and decided to keep my identity to myself. I only told Louis about Misha and my situation at home—but even that was enough for him to dump me.
I chuckle bitterly, remembering how naive I was for the next few days, coming up with new excuses for his weird behavior. Louis stopped answering my calls and showing up at the doorstep of my apartment in the middle of the night. I met him on the street once, but he completely ignored me, and that was when I understood that I'd been used and discarded for the second time.
I can’t say that it was as ground-shifting as when I’d found out that I was pregnant, but I definitely couldn’t pull myself together. When I showed up at home, Mom immediately realized that something was wrong. She asked me about it, and when I finally broke down and confessed to her that an Italian had broken my heart, Mom was the only one to listen to me and soothe my pain.
That day, she promised to always be there for me—but as it turned out, I should've been there for her instead.
Louis’s betrayal left me lost and unfocused, so it wasn’t surprising that a couple of days later, Riccardo’s brother caught me red-handed when I was delivering information to Sergei. My cover was blown, and after Paolo chased us through the neutral territory, I never returned to the Italians again. Thankfully, I’d gathered enough information by then, so Yuriy wasn’t really mad at me.
The revelation put an end to the temporary peace between our families, and the next few days were full of blood and gunshots. Mom didn’t want me to be a part of it, but Father kept giving me orders and sending me as reinforcement whenever there was another fight between Russians and Italians. It was during one of those times, when I was fresh out of a gunfight, that Father called me and told me to get back homeimmediately.
The Italians killed Valentina. Those were the first words he told me when I stepped into the house, and I felt the ground shaking under my feet.
I could barely hear Father’s voice while he kept explaining to me that they’d caught a Russian pawn who was a part of the ambush they’d laid on Mom. I still don’t understand why on earth she decided to leave the house at such a dangerous time, but I guess she got into another argument with Father and drove away to escape his rage.
The Italians had caught her on our border and, with three cars, forced her off the road and over the bridge. Her car exploded, and I didn’t even get a chance to see her again.
My heart was in agony. I couldn’t help but cry, and I think it was the only time Father allowed me to do that. Why her? I didn’t understand, but Father had the answer. The Italian pawn had admitted that they got an order to kill Valentina and get revenge on me for betraying their trust—and do you know who’d given that order?