Page 148 of A Second Dawn

“And that hasn’t changed,” she yells, throwing her hands up in the air.

She takes in a deep breath. “Aiden, that hasn’t changed, I promise,” she says, softer this time. “But Tiero wants to be a father to our child. How can I deny him that?” Her eyes are imploring me to understand.

I have no comeback. If this was my child, I’d fight to be her father too.

But it isn’t. Is that enough of a reason to take a step back and let De Marco swoop in?

Hell no! This baby is a part of Ella, and I’m more than willing to love him or her as if they were my own. She knows that. But how do I compete withthe bad boy,now that he’s back in the picture?

“What about us?” I whisper now, all energy draining from my body.

The inevitable outcome of this conversation comes crashing toward me like a meteorite about to obliterate everything in its path. That’s my outlook. I’ll be nothing after this.

Ella is quiet, clearly trying to figure out the right words to let me down gently.

Fuck that! I don’t want her to let me down gently.

I don’t want her to let me down at all!

She doesn’t answer my question.

“I’m so sorry, Ade. But please understand, I can’t keep him from his child. He deserves to be a part of her life,” she says softly.

“Ella, this doesn’t sound like you,” I try again.

She has to see reason somehow. “What if these are your hormones talking? You’ve been up and down with them the last few days. Remember how inconsolable you were only yesterday when you saw Rhia? All your emotions are exaggerated.

“You always consider your steps carefully. You’re not someone who decides something so monumental in the spirit of the moment.”

That seems to hit a nerve. Her expression turns thoughtful. With a sigh, she walks to the window, looking out.

“I know it’s most unlike me not to consider all the consequences, but this just feels right.”

It feels right. Those words might haunt me forever.

She’s really choosinghimover me.

I can’t imagine not having her in my life anymore. The thought alone shatters my heart.

“I get you believe that. The conviction in your voice is unmistakable, but I’m not sure you realize what you’re up against. You were only with De Marco a few weeks and caught glimpses of what his life looks like. And he shielded you from most of it. Ella, you haven’t seen the half of it. How will you protect your child from that harsh reality?”

Turning to face me, she opens her mouth to tell me something, but then closes it again. She fists her hands and turns back to the window.

What is she hiding from me now?

I walk up behind her and place my hands on her shoulder. “Ella.” My tone is pleading.

Please let me in, Sunshine.

She leans back against me, and I wind my arms around her, craving to hold her close.

We stand there in total silence for long minutes.

I drink her in… her scent, her warmth… everything about her.

“Do you truly love him?” I hear myself say.

Why am I asking her this? Perhaps I want to torture myself some more.

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