Page 15 of Best Friends' Unexpected Love

“You know I would. Stop fishing for compliments or whatever you are doing. You know how I feel about you. I couldn’t handle losing another man I loved. I just couldn’t.” Beth turned her face into his chest and took a deep breath. Chad wasn’t sure if she was crying or taking a moment to regain her composure after that bit of honesty. He gently stroked her arm with his left hand and took her left hand in his right, resting their joined fingers on his thigh.

“I will do my very best not to ever leave you, Beth. You have my word on that. My expiration date is in God’s hands, but as long as I draw breath, I am all yours, sweetheart.” He kissed her head one more time before resting his cheek there for a moment. One more obstacle was identified. He didn’t think they were past it, but at least he knew that fear of losing another love was one thing keeping her from going all in. It made sense. He oftenforgot that she was a widow. They had known each other for a long time, and Manny had been gone long before that. She often talked about him and showed little emotion, leading Chad to think that her grief had passed, but now that he knew what real love felt like, he could imagine how the feelings stuck with you even after the tears dried up. He would be patient and help her come to understand that the joy of loving again outweighed the potential sorrow of losing that love. He may be naïve in his way of thinking, but it had to be true. The thought of Beth walling off her heart to him because she was afraid he would die on her was unfathomable. He would be her friend if that was all she would allow, but it might just kill him when he could see their future so clearly. He had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted Beth as his wife and life partner for however long each of them had left, and he hoped they had a good many years to spend together as a grouchy old married couple doting on the grandchildren.

Chapter 16

Day six of their cruise was an adventure of a totally new sort. They started the day with a guided climb of Dunn River Falls. Beth had no idea when she agreed to it that she would be climbing the actual cascade, not a trail running beside it like most waterfall hikes. She was pretty sure if the children could see her now, they would have something to say about this. At one point, the group made a human chain to help stabilize each other and keep folks from slipping and falling or sliding down over the edge of plunge pools. The guide encouraged them to stop on several occasions to catch their breath and enjoy a dip in the pool they were passing by. As they topped each level of the cascade, the views of the forest below became more and more stunning. They were surrounded by flowing water and lush forest. It was a quintessential experience, to say the least, but not one she was sure she would volunteer to do again as her foot slipped for the dozenth time, and Chad reached forward to steady her. One thing was for sure: with Chad as her adventure companion, they would be taking on experiences that were not for the weak of heart or body. Even in good shape, she wasfeeling the burn in her legs as she braced against the rushing water and was certain that she would be feeling this exercise the following day, if not all next week.

When they finally reached the summit and turned to take pictures, she was in awe. The view was absolutely breathtaking. The guide stepped up to take her picture, and she was certain she had the cheesiest grin on her face. She felt like Rocky after he won; she was a champion. They stepped to the side to rest and enjoy the view. Chad circled his arms around her waist, and she rested her hands on top of his, leaning back into his strength.

“You did amazing, Bethany. I am so proud of you,” he spoke into her ear over the sound of the rushing water all around them while resting his chin on her shoulder.

“For the record, if Tom finds out that you got me to risk my neck on these rocks, you may need to worry about your bank account balance zeroing out. Sarah will either hug you for getting me to take a walk on the wild side or scold you for taking unnecessary chances with her mama. She is a bit of a wild card in her responses sometimes.”

“What about you? What do you think about this experience?” Chad inquired, still holding her as they stood in the water overlooking the jungle.

“I almost said, ‘Forget it!’ But then I thought,‘Why not? You only live once, and this looks like fun.’I may have changed my tune halfway up after I slipped the first six times, but I am glad I tried it. I have pushed myself in so many ways on this trip. I am not sure I will recognize myself by the time I get home. I am definitely going to be looking at things differently.”

“I am glad you are enjoying yourself. You know you can say no if you ever truly feel uncomfortable. I will never push you to do something you don’t want to do. But I want to support you and help you feel safe exploring new things if that is what you want.” This time, he gently turned Beth so she was looking at him.

“I know Chad. I trust you. This trip has been a lot, and I am doing my best to process everything as quickly as I can. I recognize that I got very comfortable in my little bubble of routines. This has been good for me, but it is also overwhelming at times. Thank you for being patient and supportive. I can’t imagine any other person I would have been willing to experience these adventures with.” She squeezed his hand where he held hers, then led the way to the side of the trail to begin their descent, feeling secure in the knowledge that if she stumbled, Chad would be right behind, ready to catch her and keep her from falling, at least too hard.

She wasn’t sure the same could be said for her heart. She felt like she was in a free fall into an abyss, and she wasn’t sure she was prepared for what came next, but each day, her speed seemed to increase. Sometimes, the fall felt fun and exciting; at others, it was terrifying, and she struggled to catch her breath.

When they reached the bottom, they joined their group on the bus for the thirty-minute ride through the jungle to White River, where they enjoyed a leisurely lazy river tubing experience. At least Beth thought it was supposed to be lazy until they came upon the first of the seven rapids they had to ride down. The guide said to push up on the tube to lift your butt out of the water. She was a little slow, and her rump met the hard side of a rock.

“That is going to leave a bruise,” she said, wincing at the tenderness radiating from her right butt cheek.

“Did you hit one?” Chad asked, concerned.

“Just a small one. I almost avoided it, but not quite. I will be faster next time.”

Chad paddled closer to her and reached out his hand. They clasped fingers and rode in companionable silence for a time, enjoying the scenery from this vantage point. She marveled that on one trip, she had seen the jungle from high above the canopy,deep in the middle and overlooking it from the top of the falls and now from the riverbed as she floated along at the bottom looking up. She had experienced more in six days than she had in her entire sixty-two years of life. So much of her life had passed her by, but had she really been living it? Or had she been a hamster running itself ragged on a wheel, getting nowhere? She wasn’t sure if that should make her sad or proud of herself for sticking with it even when it got tedious and tiring. Now that she had experienced such excitement, she wondered if going back to her boring routines would feel as dull as they did right now, staring up at the lush, vibrant world all around her, the warm sun beating down on her skin, a strong hand holding hers.

A small part of her brain wondered if she was experiencing some kind of vacation euphoria where nothing back in the real world felt like it would ever measure up, or maybe she was having a delayed major life crisis. Her thoughts were spinning out of control.

Chad seemed to sense her mood and pulled off some tube acrobatics, flipping onto his stomach so he rested over the top, then paddled his way back over to her, draping his arms along the side of her tube, resting his head at her shoulder.

“I can see your brain going a mile a minute. If you’re not careful, you’ll cause a forest fire running those mental gears so hard. They are throwing sparks right out of your ears,” he teased.

Beth chuckled, lifting her arms to rest atop his arms, tangling her fingers in his. He knew her so well and always tried to tease her out of any slump she worked her way into. “Chadwick, that was some fancy maneuvering you did back there. Your body must not be as tired as mine if you had the strength and agility to flip yourself over without flipping yourself right off your tube. I’m not going to lie; I was holding my breath, waiting for the splash.” Another laugh echoed on the slight breeze, and it made him smile.

“You would have caught my tube and swam to save me if I had. Now, stop trying to change the subject. What is on your mind that is causing creases on your forehead? Is it something we need to talk about and work out now, or will it wait another thirty minutes for us to enjoy this scenery and then tackle it later after we get back to the ship?”

“It can wait. I have so much running through my mind I can’t even pinpoint one particular concern or worry. My brain feels like it is on overload.” Beth leaned her head back to rest against his shoulder.

“We can have a nice long talk after dinner to see if we can untangle the messy web you have woven in that overactive mind of yours. Whatever it is, we will figure it out together, Beth. I don’t want you to worry about anything. Especially about us.” He placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder, and they rode the rippling current the rest of the way downstream, pointing out flora and fauna that caught their eye and birds flying overhead or perched in the trees. For the time being, it was enough just to be with each other in this beautiful place.

Chapter 17

That evening, after an uneventful dinner with yet another set of dinner companions, they strolled the deck, enjoying the ocean view. The ship had left port and was now making its way toward the Cayman Islands before heading to Mexico, the last leg of the journey home.

After walking for several minutes in silence, Chad encouraged, “Talk to me, Beth. What is on your mind?”

“I don’t even know where to start. My thoughts are so jumbled,” she confessed, stopping at the railing to look out over the water.

“Then just pick one at random, and let’s start there. You and I have never had a difficult time talking. Don’t shut me out now.” He stepped up behind her, placing his hands on the railing on either side of her. He didn’t want her to feel boxed in, but he needed to be close to her. He wanted to hold her and provide her with some measure of comfort while she worked through what had her thoughts in turmoil.

Beth took a deep breath, leaning back into him, accepting what he was offering whether she realized it or not. “I am worried thatafter this vacation, I am going to be discontent with my life. I like my life. It may be a little boring and routinish, but it is a good life, and I don’t want to feel dissatisfied. I believe in being grateful for what we have, and I am. I worry that I will be less so when I get back.”

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