Page 7 of Beautiful Delusions

“I’m well aware.” My voice is short, clipped. Somewhere between my inability to focus and the flutters in my chest that I can’t seem to shift, my inner bitch comes out. I know of the vicious circle I’m in. I know of the precious opportunity I have, and which the Thorn Brothers seem intent on screwing up.

“So when I accepted you into my program this late in the year, I’d presumed you’d be most eager to absorb what I have to teach you. I’m your last chance.”

“With all due respect,” I lean on the desk, my words not my own. No, this is all Jazzie and whoever else is living in my head. “I am my own last chance. You relay lectures you’ve repeated for twenty-odd years, but I’m the one who will be cramming in the library each night to ensure I wipe that cynical look from your face.”

“How dare you–” Mrs. Patrick scowls until her stern gaze floats over my shoulder. The next moment, an arm rounds my waist. I blink up at Kyan’s clenched jaw, his black eyes making no effort to meet mine. Which is good, but I can’t help myself from glancing south to see if I can distinguish the piercing rumor. “Mr. Thorn. Forgive me. I-I didn’t realize…” Is that fear I sense? Indeed, Mrs. Patrick’s face has pinkened, her posture hunched as she fights to make herself appear smaller.

“Now you do. Sophia is with us. Ensure your tone and manner reflect as such.” Stunned, my feet shuffle as I’m guided from the room. Kyan releases me to snatch the books I was given and stuffs them into my backpack, which was previously slung over his shoulder. Then he eases the straps up my arms, planting it on my back. My hand flies to the side pocket, hunting for myphone, but I sigh in relief when I feel it there. Tilting my head curiously, I stare at the man standing before me in the hallway, everyone nearby giving us a wide berth. A maroon t-shirt is stretched across his firm chest, tapered jeans fitting too snuggly to not be tailored to his thick thighs.

“What did you go to juvie for?” Kyan watches me too closely, his face devoid of emotion although his tone did dip as if he was trying to be sensitive. Unfortunately, his next words revoke that notion. “You seem too… weak to have survived a place like that.” I scowl, stomping my heel down on his shoe. It has no effect.

“You don’t know me,” I growl. This hot-and-cold routine with him is seriously starting to piss me off. Still, Kyan waits as if I might dignify him with an answer. I don’t have one.

The reason I ended up in that hellhole is my sins to bear. Beyond that, how do I even start to explain being incarcerated was where I developed my coping mechanism–daydreaming? I imagined friends to comfort me post-beating from the other girls, to sit with in the yard while avoiding all others. The best way to go unnoticed. The only way to survive without any long-term damage. Although now I rely on drugs to silence the voices in my head, I don’t know if I would consider myself a survivor at all.

“You no longer need to attend classes,” Kyan finally changes the subject, stepping in closer. I hold firm as our chests brush, his shower gel of cedarwood drifting through me. “Lucas has given you a free pass. If you see out the semester with us, you’ll pass with multiple job offers in your lap. All for the easy price of sitting in his.” My mouth pops open. He can’t be serious.

“I don’t want a free ride. I transferred schools to earn my way through.” My eyes narrow. Again, I’m met with that stoic silence, Kyan’s jaw tight and eyes dead. Shoving him a step back, I raise my fist to punch him, to get any sort of reaction, but he catchesmy wrist too easily. Spinning us, I’m suddenly against a wall, caged in by thick biceps.

“Maybe you should be a little less aggressive and a little more grateful. You’re required to join us for dinner at the manor tonight, eight o’clock sharp. If you’re late, or if you try to hide, we will find you.” Kyan’s head dips. That jaw, that devilishly taut pussy-eating jaw, scrapes my cheek, and I swear I just came a little. His lips part, brushing across mine in a whisper of a touch before it’s gone. “Word to the wise, Lucas loves a chase. If you run, he’ll see hunting you as part of the game.”

“I don’t want any part in your stupid games,” I grit my teeth and try to shove Kyan away from me. He doesn’t move an inch, his scent feels too overwhelming on my senses. That man from last night who held me so gently is in there somewhere, but I swiftly remind Jazzie’s voice in my mind that it’s not our job to coax him back out.

“Unfortunately, you’ve presented yourself on a fucking platter. Lucas’ will isn’t as strong as mine and Ezra’s.” Swiftly whipping himself backward, I stumble for the second time today because of Kyan. My mind trips over itself, trying to both soothe and digest the brunt of the information Kyan has delivered. Gathering my balance, I find him halfway down the hall, students parting like the Red Sea shying away from Moses to let him through.

“I hate you!” I scream, much to the shock of those watching on. I don’t care what they think. I refuse to be associated with these Thorn assholes.

“Feeling’s mutual,” Kyan calls back, holding up a peace sign. Then he’s gone, and the bell rings for the start of my next lecture. Fuck, I’m late again!

By the time lunch rolls around two classes later, I’m about ready to pass out on the table. Nursing a coffee, I lean over it as if I’m hungover. Two days without my meds; perhaps I amhungover. My fingers shake like I’m a sobering addict as the rim of the plastic cup graces my lips. It’s vile. Like the equivalent of what caffeinated dog shit would taste like, but it was free.

Sitting in the cafeteria, I figured I shouldn’t go crazy with my monthly food card on the first day. Luckily, it’s not too busy, and I’m able to have a full table to myself to–as Mrs. Patrick put it–question my life choices. This is supposed to be my new start, and I won’t let a bunch of righteous dickwads fuck it up for me. At least, not on day one.

Pulling my notepad out, I flick to the back page, glancing over the scribbled notes I made. Below, I write ‘Game Plan’ as a heading and underline it twice. Then I stare at it, failing to come up with anything realistic. Murder is out, running away won’t work, and learning taekwondo overnight seems like a lot of effort. Glancing over to an adjacent table, I see the same girls from Mrs. Patrick’s class this morning, laughing and chatting away. There’s strength in numbers, and they seem to know what’s going on around here much more than I do.

“I think it’s time to admit, I’m going to need some friends,” I sigh to myself. Jazzie appears opposite me, smiling sweetly with enthusiastic jazz hands. All a figment of my imagination. “Real friends,” I drawl. When it comes to self-preservation, she always manages to be the ringleader. The loudest and most prominent. Pushing myself up, I do something I never did in juvie. I find some temporary courage and stride over to the popular girls, sliding into a free seat at the end of their table.

“Hey all, I’m Sophia. I just started here.” I wave. For a millisecond, they all spin to raise brows at me, and I think I’m about to be lynched. But then they break into smiles, the volumes of their welcomes deafening. My smile wobbles. The closest, a brunette who introduces herself as Evelyn, asks a bunch of general questions which I answer evasively. Then shegives me a rundown of everyone’s names, which I’ll never be able to remember. Letty is in the mix.

“So, I hear there’s a sports rally coming up?” I casually spin the conversation. Evelyn offers me some of her cheesy fries as everyone’s faces light up.

“Oh yes! You’ve arrived just in time for the quarterfinals against Radley. Our basketball team here are like gods–the Thorn Brothers being the star players. Just wait until you see them,” a girl called Rosie gushes. I hide my blush.

“Are they like…real brothers?” I divert my gaze to the fries. The table giggles once more.

“In the bonded sense,” a redhead across the table answers. I think her name was Clara…Kerry maybe? “Their parents are extremely wealthy, but couldn’t conceive themselves so they decided to adopt from a poverty-stricken orphanage. All for show, of course. Only went for one, and ended up leaving with three. Apparently, the boys wouldn’t be separated. Now they stand to inherit a fortune, including this university.” I choke, needing to down the shit-stirred coffee to clear my throat.

Letty just watches me knowingly and nods. “Yep. This Uni has been in their family since it was built.” A shudder rolls through my entire body. I need to handle myself very carefully from now on, or it won’t matter how much revision I put in. I’ll be out on my ass, broke, and in debt regardless. What a way to start my adult life. Another girl with jet black hair cut into a sharp bob to accentuate the sharp lines of her face, leans forward with a cunning smile.

“If you want to get on the Thorn’s radar, your best bet is to check out the bulletin board.” She points across to a large board by the serving hatch. I already know I don’t want to look but have to. Letty tuts, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t tease the poor girl. You know she doesn’t stand a chance.” I conceal my frown. The bell rings, ending my shortreprieve of playing catch up. The girls stand suddenly, kissing each other’s cheeks goodbye and waving to me, dispersing in different directions. Letty lingers for a moment, watching the rest leave.

“Hey Sophia, about last night,” she plays with a loose strand of strawberry blonde hair. “I figured taking you to Kyan’s room was the safest since he’s rarely at Thorn Manor. I had no idea he’d storm in and kick me out.” So that’s where she went. I purse my lips and say nothing as Letty looks more and more sheepish. “I hope everything was okay. When I heard the gossip this morning about their new…well, I worried…” she begins hedging around what she really wants to say. Jazzie is quick to judge, telling me all sorts of heinous ways I can use plastic cutlery to extract eyes, but I force a smile. After Kyan’s warning, I need friends more than ever.

“It’s fine,” I wave my hand through the air. “No big deal. By the time I re-entered the bedroom, Kyan was already fast asleep. I snuck out and made it back to my dorm without antagonizing anyone else.”

Letty laughs, a quick sound filled with relief.

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