Page 15 of Beautiful Delusions

“She’s not going back on that shit!” Lucas shouts, clearing the fog from my mind in an instant. I hear Kyan quietly soothing him, offering to speak with the doctor outside. Great, I’m in a freaking hospital. My second least favorite place to be, after juvie.

My senses quickly catch up with my mind, the scent of lemon detergent tingling my nose. From this position, fully reclined on my back, the rigidness of a hospital gown implies I’ve been stripped down and changed. I briefly wonder if there were any questions about the bruises and a bite mark on my body I’d rather not have to explain.

Silence settles, the opportunity to escape lulling me back into a state of calm. It’s best to find the peace where I can, focusing on my breathing and not thinking about the field day Lorna will have with this episode during our next counseling session. If I remain still, if I drift back to sleep, the rest of the world doesn’t have to exist for a while longer.

“I get what this is,” Ezra speaks so suddenly I flinch again. I hadn’t realized he was even in the room. “Because your birth mom overdosed on hallucinogenic shit. You think you can be a savior this time.” A weight sits on the edge of the mattress. Unfazed, Lucas takes my hand in his, stroking circles with his thumb. Ezra sighs from across the room. “You can’t fix her.”

“She’s not broken. She’s confused,” Lucas’ voice is small but steady.

“You want to undo years of trauma in one semester?” Ezra scoffs. My heart is batting around like a ping pong ball, and I’m immensely thankful no one hooked me up to a heart monitor. “You’re getting married as soon as you graduate. This isn’t the time to start feeling sentimental.” Wait, what? Ezra moves closer, leaning over me to get Lucas’ attention. “This isn’t ourbattle to fight. I admit, she’s interesting. But she’s also complex, Lucas. Just let her go, and we’ll pick a new pet. An easier one.”

Wow, Jazzie immediately intervenes in my head. Or maybe that sarcastic drawl was all me. My gut sinks, a sickening feeling taking over. I can’t disagree that I’m a mess no one has any business trying to help, but it doesn’t lessen the hurt. Lucas, though, doesn’t seem to care.

“It’s my turn to choose, and I chose her. The real her–not some drugged up version. I’ve been on the receiving end of intoxicated affection before, and you never know if it’s genuine. I need to know this time.”

“Seriously, Lucas,” Ezra groans. A slap sound gives me the impression he’s palmed his own forehead. “You can’t save the freaking world. Whatever charity case this is–”

“Call her that again,” Lucas’ voice has dropped, his thumb stilling on my hand. The tension is thick, making it almost impossible to pretend to still be asleep. If I weren’t so nosey and wanting to continue eavesdropping, I’d have found a way to punch Ezra in the balls by now. Lucas exhales audibly, continuing his stroking over my skin. “You’ll see soon enough. She’s worth it, I promise.”

I shift then because if I didn’t twist my head to the side, I’d choke on rising emotion. I knew today would be a shitshow, but this is something else. One Thorn is fighting for me while the other thinks I’m a piece of shit he scraped off his shoe. Fan-fucking-tastic. Hands cup my cheeks, the outline of Lucas giving me enough reprieve from the bright lights to peel my eyes open.

“Hey beautiful, you’re awake. Scared me for a minute there.” Just like that, his easy smile is back. A rasp escapes me, my throat parched. Lucas is quick to offer a cup of water, raising the recliner bed and tilting the cup against my lips. Each of my movements are tracked by his ever-watchful green eyes, as he refuses to move out of my immediate proximity.

The room is nothing like I imagined–and not a typical hospital after all. The clinic’s private room with a lone hallway window provides a high-tech bed, which Jazzie is sprawled across the foot of. Smacking the control of the personal TV, she starts yelling that she needs her daily dose of Judge Judy. I glance away, noticing a small refrigerator containing sandwiches through its glass door. There’s even artwork on the walls, a mix of abstract and still-life’s connected by their use of pastels. Occupying one of the large, leather armchairs in the corner, is Ezra.

“The doctor said it was just a panic attack,” his icy blue eyes roll.Just. I find the strength to scowl at him.

“You’ll receive the best care here; I’ll make sure of it.” Lucas adds, regaining my attention. My heart melts for the way he’s looking at me. Auburn hair flopping aside, green eyes filled with warmth. His hands are everywhere, stroking, caressing. Like he…cares.

“Your…your brothers are right,” I finally manage to force past my lips. “You should pick someone…easier.” A ball forms in my throat, and I look away.

The whole ‘pet’ idea is a stupid one anyway, but after last night–I’d be lying to say I wasn’t curious. They only pleasured me with toys. I bet having their bodies, their undivided attention, is an experience I’d never forget. If I weren’t me. If I were normal, I’d jump in headfirst. But I’m not what they intended. And then there’s mention of a marriage?! How the hell does my life always find a way to become so messy?

Shifting, Lucas kicks off his sneakers and climbs into the wide bed beside me. The silkiness of his basketball attire allows him to slip beneath the sheet with ease, his shoulder dropping to indicate I should put my head there.

“Luckily for you,” he sighs, and I can still hear the smile in his voice, “I never do as I’m told. The exact opposite, in fact.” Ezragrunts in agreement. I swallow thickly, hunting for something to say when the door opens. Kyan appears, his dark eyes meeting mine in an instant.

“Well, hey there,” his features instantly relaxing. Crossing the room on long strides, Kyan proceeds to scuff up my hair. “Back in the land of the living?”

“It’s debatable,” I snort, giving Jazzie a side glance. She’s given up on the TV and is now in the hall, attacking a vending machine. At the rate I’m going, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Thorn Brothers were all part of my delusions and I’m actually locked in an institution somewhere. At least Kyan blocks my view of Ezra while his fingers linger in my blue hair for a few seconds longer. As always, I can’t decipher what is lurking within his fathomless dark eyes.

“How about when you’re ready, we get out of here and go for a swim?” he tilts his head. I almost smile, already imagining how diving into the serene blue could wash away my worries for a while. The voices don’t seem to follow me when I’m underwater. But it’s the resurfacing, it’s everything hitting me at once, which is the issue.

“Ugh, I can’t afford to fall behind with classes any further. If I’m too late to get back, I have to study at the very least.” Kyan frowns, withdrawing his hand as if I’ve insulted him.

“You’re with us now, you don’t need–”

“Of course,” Lucas interrupts, inclining his head with an air of authority. “Studying it is. You’re one of us now.” I catch how Lucas corrects Kyan's initial response, but I don't comment. Not when Lucas heaves up my heavy bag of textbooks which was tucked beside the bed, almost as if he knew I would want to keep myself distracted. Kyan doesn't object further, instead quietly fetching an overbed table and helping Lucas to set up my makeshift study space. He even brings out his own MacBook, ready for use.

I merely sit there, still adjusting to my new reality, as I watch the pair of them fuss. I don’t dare mention I haven’t officially signed their contract yet, but it seems redundant at this point. I’m coming to realize Lucas typically gets his own way or will use his charm until he does. I know I’m not what they bargained for, but who am I to keep arguing Lucas’ choice? He’s chosen me. That in itself gives me something worth trying to live up to. I’ve fully decided not to extend that curtsey to Ezra until the screech of chair legs finally slices through the room. Ezra drags his armchair to the side of the bed, propping his sneakers up on the edge of the mattress without hesitation. His face is grave as he points to the textbook placed in my hands and sighs.

“Come on then,” he says sternly. "Read through to section three and take thorough notes. I'll be quizzing you later, and I won't go easy." Despite his tough approach, I can see genuine concern in his eyes when he looks at the man fluffing my pillow. It all clicks into place, then. Whether Ezra agrees with Lucas or not, he will honor their agreement. They’re bonded brothers, and that must be what having family means.

It turns out, the swim was non-negotiable. We stayed at the clinic until the sun began to set, and by the time we left, I didn’t have half as many worries to wash away. Ezra was true to his word, testing me vigorously and marking my answers harsher than any exam board would–but it helped. In fact, I pushed myself harder just to prove him wrong, while Lucas typed up extra notes and Kyan supplied us with endless coffee refills and vending machine snacks. After a while, I even forgot Jazzie was still watching in the background.

Floating on my back, I drift gently in the waves while the others competitively swim lengths. The four of us have the entire pool to ourselves, which I’m sure isn’t a coincidence. Glass cut-outs span the domed ceiling, allowing for the starry night to leak inside. Around the edge of the dome, LED strip lights have been dimmed. The main source of light bleeds from the lavish locker rooms where our clothes, bags, and the horde of my delusions are waiting.

From the edge of my peripheral vision, Kyan is climbing the ladder to the tallest diving board–again. I’ve decided he’s the adrenaline junkie of the group, continuously throwing himself into the air with a whoop or a holler. He twists without the need to try, his flawless body rotating mid-air until his hands join into an arrow to enter the water with minimal splash.

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