Page 22 of Cupcake

She stood up suddenly and pushed her chair back. ‘Boys, look away.’

Without any further hesitation, and barely enough time for them to do so, she hitched up her dress and pulled down her thick grey tights, peeling them away from her bottom and down her thighs before pulling them off her legs altogether.

Elsie glanced down as the hem of her short dress rode up her blonde friends thigh, and for a moment she caught a brief glimpse of a suspender belt at the top of her sheer, lace topped stockings. Her heart pounded in her chest as her lips went dry. No one dresses like that for a dinner party.

’Hang on,’ said Elsie, taking a deep breath as she looked away, waggling her finger back and forth as she rumbled Anna’s ruse. ‘There was a reason Tom picked that one. Spill.’

Anna’s shoulders sagged and she closed her eyes, when she opened them they were half-glaring and half-grinning at her husband. ‘I will get my revenge for this.’

‘I’m already regretting it,’ laughed Tom.

‘I was fourteen,’ she started, pausing as she sat back down at the table, her cheeks red. ‘My mum was letting me out of the area on my own with my friends for the first time, so we all got the train into the city together. We had some lunch and we all got a bit hyped up. There was this one girl called Tracey, she was the older sister of one of my friends and we were all a bit in awe of her as she had all these amazing clothes and piercings, she was confident and she was older and wore makeup so obviously she was some sort of goddess to us. She started telling us that most of the stuff she was wearing she’d jacked from different shops around the mall and that it was really easy.’

‘Jacked? You down with the lingo?’ giggled Elsie, before cutting a slice of chicken.

‘So down,’ she laughed, touching her forehead as she continued - Is she sweating? thought Elsie. ‘She didn’t tell us to steal anything, she just made it seem… glamorous. So after we’re done eating, we all head to this accessories shop in the main mall and I’m following Tracey around like a lost puppy and see her stuff a cheap little necklace into her pocket. No hesitation, no faff. She’s looking at it, it’s gone, and I think to myself - I can do that.’

‘Uh-oh,’ laughed Cole.

‘You’d think I’d start small, one or two things? Some lipstick? A hairband? Nope. Fuck that. I went on a heist. By the time I was done, I had over two hundred pounds worth of junk stuffed in my pockets, in my bra, down my knickers, in my rucksack. I was jingling. It was like I couldn’t help myself. I can’t imagine what the store security guard was thinking as he watched me.’

‘You got caught?’

‘Didn’t even make it out the door.’

Elsie burst into laughter, her hands over her face in horror.

‘All of my friends scarpered as soon as this fit young blonde guy grabbed my shoulder, and back I go to the rear of the shop where this man tears me to pieces. He didn’t shout, he just talked low and firm and I cried my eyes out. He called my dad, who answered on the first ring - he’d been sat by the phone he was so worried about me - and mum said later he’d been so upset afterwards that he’d cried. The worst part was, when he arrived, he gave me a hug, told me that he loved me, picked me up and carried me all the way back to the car like I was a little kid again, and took me home.’

‘That was the worst part?’ said Elsie, frowning and still chewing.

‘Even though I’d disappointed him, he still let me know he loved me, he didn’t shout, he didn’t get angry, and somehow that made me feel so much worse. I’d let him down. Mum went ballistic. She lost her voice she screamed so hard at me. But Dad just sat down, put the TV on my favourite show and cuddled me. It was utterly savage.’

‘Blimey,’ laughed Elsie as she dabbed her lips with her napkin. ‘I knew this was going to be a good game.’

‘Right, come on,’ said Anna, laughing, as she rapped the table with her knuckles - her words dripping with sarcasm. ‘I’m enjoying this. I feel we’re like we’re starting to find out lots of awful reasons why we shouldn’t be friends or ever see each other again. Come on Cole, let’s see what dark alley you can lead us down now.’

Elsie’s husband sat forward, grinning. ’Ok, I’ve got a good one. Never have I ever… Fallen in love at first sight.’

Anna smiled sweetly as her husband drank, knocking her own back and leaning across to kiss him.

‘Smooth,’ she said as her lips met his, shaking her head as she stroked his cheek. The pair of them turned to look back at Cole and Elsie, whose drinks were still full and their faces sheepish.

‘Oh no!’ said Anna, mortified.

Elsie burst out laughing. ‘It’s okay, the lack of feeling was mutual.’

Cole nodded as he swirled his drink. ‘Let’s just say the first thing Elsie ever said to me was Touch that door handle and I’ll slit your throat from ear to ear with your own fucking razor.’

After a moment of silence Tom erupted into raucous laughter as his wife sat stunned, her hand across her mouth and her eyes wide.

‘Oh, and she was butt naked,’ added Cole.

‘I hate you,’ laughed Elsie as she hid her face in shame.

‘Is this what you wouldn’t tell me in the car? You were naked?’ said Anna.

‘It’s a long story,’ said Elsie. ‘One I’m not quite prepared to re-tell this evening, but maybe one day.’

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