Page 38 of Be With Us: An Urban Foursome Love Story

‘We talked,’ she looked down at his chest. ‘And we kissed.’

‘Oh,’ he said, still holding her.

‘Are you angry?’

‘No, not at all. What’s wrong though? You look upset.’

‘She left after we kissed. She was confused,’ said Emilia. ‘And she said that this isn’t what she wants.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry Em,’ he hugged her tightly and felt her shake as she started to cry into his chest. ‘Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.’

He stroked her hair as she nodded.

‘I'm sorry,’ she said. ‘It's like Alice said, I fall quickly, just look at you and me.’ She was sniffing as she spoke. ‘I fell for you when I was fourteen. What the hell does a fourteen year old know? It’s not like I made the wrong decision, I was just lucky it was you.’

Cassian shrugged as she went on.

‘I just, I wanted this to happen, and I didn't think it would, and then it looked like it might and I fell for her. I didn't think I would fall, not that quickly. But I fucking did. And I think she likes me, and us, too, because she kissed me. But she doesn't know what she wants.’

She stopped, trying to calm herself, breathing in and out. ‘Fuck, this is hard,’ she said. ‘I didn't think it was going to be this hard.’

A sudden smell of burning started to make Emilia’s nose twitch and she looked around, confused.

‘Oh shit, the dinner.’

She rushed over to the oven and opened the door to a billow of black smoke and a very chargrilled pasta bake. In despair, she sat down on the floor with a bump and leaned back against the cupboard door, putting her head in her hands and sobbing.

‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,’ she repeated.

‘Hey, hey,’ said Cassian. ‘It's fine, we can fix this.’

‘Fix what? The dinner or me?’

‘Both,’ he said. He was being stern with her now. ‘Come on, up. Stand up.’

He took hold of her hands and pulled her upright, then turned off the oven. Then he grabbed the mitts, slipped them on and plucked the burning pasta bake out of the oven, taking it out into the garden to cool down.

When he came back in, Emilia was upright but leaning against the counter again, her eyes closed.

‘Come with me,’ he said. Taking her arm, he guided her though to the lounge, scooping up their tablet computer on the way. ‘I'll order takeout.’

He sat her down on the couch, then plonked down beside her and opened the little device, browsing to the website of a nearby curry place which offered delivery and racked up their usual order. Then he pulled Emilia in closer to him and lay her head down on his chest and cuddled her, closing his own eyes as she quietly wept.

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang, startling Emilia awake. Cassian stood up to answer, retrieving their food from the front door and heading into the kitchen to plate it all up.

‘Are we doing the right thing?’ said Emilia, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

‘I don't know,’ said Cassian, he stopped tipping curry from the takeout pot onto the plate for a moment and leaned on the counter.

‘I feel like all this has just created upset and sadness and disappointment and it's my fault,’ said Emilia.

Cassian ran his hands under the tap and dried them and then approached Emilia, arms outstretched to hold her.

‘It's okay, we’ll get through this. It was our first try, we can learn from this and move on.’

‘That's just it though, maybe the lesson is that we shouldn't do this. Everyone else does fine as a couple, and I am happy with you. I was happy before this. I love you. I’m sorry.’

‘I love you too,’ he said.

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