Page 89 of Holiday Vibes

AllIneedtodo is make it to the front door. To my coat and boots, my handbag with the keys to my rental car tucked inside. Out the door.

“I don’t love her. I don’t want a relationship with her. We aren’t even friends. This is nothing more than a convenient fuck for—”

“Hey. That’s my sister.”

“—for both of us. It’s what we agreed on.”

It was what we agreed upon, but something inside me broke when I overheard Nic’s words. He didn’t see me back out of the doorway. Didn’t know I ran to my room and frantically packed my suitcase.

I can’t be with him while loving him, knowing that even after last night, all I am to him is a convenient place to stick his dick.

My face burns and my eyes fill with tears. I knew it would hurt, but this is a living thing, teeth sinking into my already raw heart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I take a deep breath and hurry to the steps, as fast as my still-heavy suitcase will allow. At the top, I pause. There’s a lot of noise, but it’s coming from the great room. Maybe my parents’ room. I don’t know what is going on, but I take advantage of the chaos to haul my suitcase down the stairs as quietly as possible.

I’ll stop on the road to tell Mom I’ve gone home. I’ll come up with an excuse once I’m safely out of the house.

My coat is on and I’m zipping my second boot when Timothy bursts into the foyer, my mom hot on his heels. Mina trails behind, looking bewildered and potentially dangerous.

“Timothy, I swear to god—” My mom sees me first, stopping short, her hand flying to her mouth.

“There are only so many places you can hide a snowboard, I will find…” A frown mars his face and his voice fades away when his eyes land on my suitcase. “Jessie?”

Mina knows the score immediately. Her lips press together, but there’s sympathy in her eyes.

“Why, Jessie?” My mom’s pained whisper breaks the silence.

I zip the boot and stand tall. My mouth opens, but I can’t come up with an emergency that might take me back to New York the day after Christmas. “I can’t do this.” My voice breaks, and I bite my lip. I’m not going to cry. Not until I reach my car.

“Why not?” my mom demands, hands on her hips.

“I don’t want to,” I say, reaching for the door. I need to get out. I can’t face Nic and if he walks out of the kitchen, if he sees how much I care… “We were just sleeping together. Now we’re done. I’ll see you at Evie’s birthday party next month.”

My mom’s hands go to her hips. “No. Jessica Jane Foley, do not open that door. You set that goddamn suitcase down and go talk to that boy.”

“Let her go,” Mina says quietly.

The look my mom gives Mina is sharp enough to cut, but Mina doesn’t back down. “She just needs some space first. Then they can talk it out.”

Mina is wrong. There’s nothing to talk out.

“She needs to talk to her boyfriend.” My mom insists.

Timothy wraps his arm around his wife, giving her his support. I could use a bit of that support. The pain is gnashing at my ribs, wanting out. Wanting to make someone else, anyone else, hurt.

I need to leave.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Stepping outside, the cold sucks all the air out of my lungs.

My mom rushes to stuff her feet into Dad’s winter boots, but I’m already out the door, hauling my suitcase down the porch steps. I need to join a gym and start some weight training. Maybe cardio. Escaping should be easier—I’m nearly gasping and I’m hardly a quarter down the driveway.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” My mom’s voice rings out as she hurries after me. “You’ve pined after this boy for years, and now that you have him, you’re throwing him away?”

I spin around to face her. “It was just sex and I haveneverpined for him.”

“Anyone who sees you two together knows that’s not true.” She crosses her arms and glares.

I want to scream back that anyone who can see me would know how much this is costing me, how much it hurts, but I bite my tongue.

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