There were maybe four people sitting around the place. I got up there and soon I had those four people stomping their feet and clapping their hands toTears. I set upHonky Tonkin,and thenYour Cheatin’ Heart,and ended withHey Good Lookin’ which I've always loved.

I felt really good.

And as predicted, tired. Go home.

I did.

Chapter 33

Hendrik

Iamatmywit’s end worrying about Papa, yet at the same time, thoughts of Carly and her death are haunting me. I know there's no comparison between these two emergencies. But I can't deny how afraid I am of losing my father today.

Beatrice has brought us a selection of food from the cafeteria, comically complaining about the lack of a healthy food selection in a place that's supposed to be all about health and healing.

As agreed, we went across the hall into a little family waiting room to eat.

“Hendrik, you wouldn't believe how long it took me to find just this little amount of edible food!Creepers!Who knew that hospitals think fried food is healthy for you?Gadzooks!” She went on and on with her usually hilarious old-style curse words, but I guess she finally saw that my energy wasn't into it.

She took my hand. “Tell me everything you are thinking. Everything. Just empty your brain onto my lap,” she encouraged and scooted even closer to me.

“When I got the news about Papa, all of my thoughts were about him of course, and I have to tell you—I thought he was dead. When I got here and they said he was just sleeping, I still believed he was going to die. He's all I have now since Carly is also gone.”

Beatrice’s face told me she was trying to remember if I'd mentioned anyone named Carly before.

I went on to explain. I knew full well I had never mentioned Carly’s name in any conversation between us up till now.

“Some years ago, I met a girl named Carly. I fell in love. Oh,wefell in love. And we dated happily for the longest time before I asked if she would marry me.” I paused, then looked at Beatrice. “I was so shy and insecure about talking, having any kind of conversation. She usually did most of the talking, until I finally realized that she would not mock me for my geekiness or the way I stumbled over my words, but just expect normal adult conversations. I realized that she wasinterestedin whatever I had to say and wasn’t ready to just pounce and mock like so many kids had done in my younger years to me. I got up the nerve and asked her to marry me. And she refused.”

Beatrice’s mouth fell open, but she nodded for me to go on.

“We kept seeing each other. She by no means wanted to break up with me, she said. But I knew she wasn't telling me something important. I thought there had to be a reason for not wanting to marry me. As you can guess, my mind spun in all kinds of directions since she wasn't telling me anything at all. I thought that perhaps because I had only my father for family, she didn't want me. You see, she had a pretty big family and got along really well with every one of them. Then I thought maybe some of my beliefs didn't line up with her own. Or that she didn't like how tall I was.” I shook my head at the memory of how silly I’d been about it.

I admitted, “I really went from the sublime to the ridiculous in my head to figure out all on my own why she wouldn't marry me but was still willing to see me.”

At my rueful grin and headshake, Beatrice only moved a bit closer to me. The look on her face and her nod encouraged me to continue, “Finally, one day we had a date to meet for dinner at a restaurant we liked a lot, and she didn't show up. She didn't answer her phone. A couple of hours went by. I panicked because nothing like this had happened between us before. Finally, her mother called me. I had met her family. They knew me pretty well. Carly was in the hospital.”

I saw that Beatrice had tears in her eyes. She put one hand on my cheek and said, “Tell me the rest. I am here for you. I'm listening.”

It took me a little while to compose myself but I continued, “As it turned out, Carly had been seeing doctors for several months for odd symptoms she had been experiencing. They ran all kinds of tests, I guess. I never knew what that involved, since she had kept me out of it. Her mother admitted to me that she swore the whole family to secrecy about it; Carly had forbidden any family member to talk to me about it. She had stage four cancer.”

Beatrice gasped. “Because she knew she wouldn't live very long, she didn't want to marry me and turn me into a young widower.”

And I burst into tears at the telling of it. I couldn't know that Beatrice was sobbing right along with me.

Chapter 34

Beatrice

ThatoneafternoonIspent at the hospital was Hendrik was an eye opener about his past and somewhat about his struggles to ... what? Grow up? Become self-confident? Be in love again?

Plus, as he told his story, I noticed right away that he was speaking of Carly in the past tense, and I felt a foreboding. I saw feelings in his face. I heard emotions in his voice. He was still hurting so badly.

She was keeping a gigantic secret from him. Bless her little heart, it must’ve hurt like hell not to tell him.

And here I am, so recently cursing at a college love affair gone sour. Nobody died, and I was still in a right state about it.

In any case, everything I heard and saw gave me food for thought about the man I thought I knew so intimately.