Page 20 of If You Say So

I burst out laughing.

How could I not?

It was even funnier coming from Mackie’s mouth than it had been coming from Dad’s explanation

earlier.

“I love it,” I said.

There was a long silence and then Mackie hesitantly said, “Frankie?”

I sobered instantly.

“Yeah, baby?” I whispered, knowing where this was going.

“Are you happy today?” she asked.

Mackie, God bless her little sweet soul, didn’t like when I was sad. And I also didn’t like lying to her. She didn’t want me to lie, either.

So, I told her truth, no matter what, because Mackie was one of my closest confidants.

“I’m… okay,” I admitted.

Okay was exactly how I was.

I wasn’t happy.

I wasn’t anything.

I was numb.

“Is that better than sad?” she whispered.

I didn’t know.

Probably not.

At least if I was sad, I’d be feeling some emotion.

But I wasn’t sad anymore.

At least, I didn’t allow myself to feel that unless I was at home, and wasn’t leaving the house for three days.

Because if I allowed those emotions to surface, then I would start crying.

And I wouldn’t stop.

“Time to go, Mackie,” Cora said, breaking into our conversation. “We need to be at gymnastics.

Give the phone to Daddy.”

Only, before I could talk to my father, or Mackie could pass the phone over, Tornado Jackie woke

up.

“Sorry, Frankie,” Cora apologized. “I’ll get him to call you back, okay?”

With a promise of answering the call, I hung up, then got ready for work.

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