Page 20 of Nanny for My Billionaire

I’m still trying to work up the courage to venture out after my brief nap when I hear a rap on my door that I know is Adam’s from the specific rhythm. Since I’m already standing nearby, I simply take three steps over and open it.

“I think you’ve probably had enough stress this evening already, Miss,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets and unable to quite look into my eyes. “Sara thinks we should all go out for burgers, but the food at Rudolpho’s would be much better.”

I shrug. “Depends how far you want to drive, I suppose. Twelve miles is a bit farther than two, but not by a whole lot.”

“Miss, I—um—I want to apologize again, all right? You know I have a huge, horrid habit of overreacting. I don’t think it’s something I’m ever likely to get rid of. And I’ll understand if you just want to ditch this whole crazy idea of being engaged and head home. I think you, Sara, and I can both be a bit impulsive, and I won’t hold you to it if you don’t think it’s going to work.”

I sigh. “The thing is, Adam, I wish it wasn’t pretend. I know you pissed me off and I left before we ever resolved that first fight, but there was a huge part of me that liked your idea. Just forget everything, marry you, be with you forever. Except the part about the ‘everything.’ I couldn’t forget my obligations, and I couldn’t forget my dream for the future. And I still can’t forget that. But like I said, the thing I want doesn’t take me away from home. I could get a little office nearby, or even just do my work in a home office or anywhere I like. All I need is a few dependable businesses who want me to manage their databases, and I’ll be perfectly happy.”

“It sounds like a perfect life, Melissa,” he says, “but the fact is, it’s still hard for me to get past you lying about who you are. I don’t see how I can trust you. I still don’t even understand why you’d do that, or why Sara would want to help you with the ruse.”

“I just—I can’t even really explain why I did it myself,” I admit. “I was angry when you didn’t recognize me. For three whole years I thought about you, about the time we’d shared, about how you wanted to marry me, but only if it was on your terms. How if I said no, you wouldn’t wait around, but you didn’t really date either, did you? Sara told me you were moping around, but she thought you were still pining for Gena.”

He pulls a face. “God, no! I’m so over that woman. It’s been you, Miss, all this time. I couldn’t even fall in love with another woman without wishing she was you. If you really had been Anna Thatcher, that never would have been fair to you. And it wouldn’t have been fair to the real you either, if I’d taken up with Anna without ever resolving what happened between us.”

“It’s great that we’re having this talk, Adam, but don’t you think we should have it after we’ve fed the boys and put them to bed?” I point out.

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Can we talk about it later tonight?”

I shake my head at him. “I’m exhausted, and I need some time to think about everything that’s just happened, and where it leaves us now. I think you need some time to figure all that out too.”

“Tomorrow, then?” he persists. “I want to clear the air between us as soon as possible, Miss. I think we’ve wasted too much time on bullshit already. I’d like to see if there’s some way we could at least get back to being friends, if nothing else. Especially since we’re going to have to act like we love each other whenever we go out of this house if we want our engagement to be believable.”

“Yeah,” I say, annoyed to be back to a ‘pretend’ engagement when in reality I wanted so much more. But I have to respect Adam’s need to work through the confusion I’d caused. Even I needed to do that. To truly understand why I’d done it, and to know if being with such a hot-headed guy is the right move. I know he’d never hurt me physically, of course. But his mood swings make life feel like riding on a roller coaster.

*****

“Well, boys, I think there’s something that Miss and I ought to tell you now that we’re back home,” Adam says to the boys as we watch Sara drive away.

“You mean Miss Anna?” Ethan clarifies, looking over at me curiously.

“See, kids, I only use Miss Anna for when I’m working, because my real name is Melissa,” I tell them. “Most of the time people call me Miss or Missy. Now I’m here for you two guys as a different kind of caregiver. Your dad and I have decided to get married, so I’ll be more like a stepmother. So instead of calling me Miss Anna, you can just call me Miss.”

Evan’s eyes go wide. “You’re not going to leave us, too, are you?”

“No, sweetie, of course not,” I say, drawing both boys in for hugs. “I’m nothing like your mom. Even if I did break up with your dad, I would never break up with you. I love you boys with all my heart. And I want to be there for you, no matter what happens. I’ll always be there for you, all right?”

It feels really shitty lying about being engaged to their dad, and telling them I’ll be their stepmom. I don’t know if it’s such a great idea to let them get attached to the idea, considering that Adam hasn’t made up his mind. And really, I haven’t even made up mine. But the alternative is not to tell them, and risk them somehow informing anyone in Gena’s camp that our relationship is a lie.

And if later on Adam does feel like it can’t work out, we’ll only have to tell one more lie—that we’ve broken up. When the truth is, we never started a real relationship to begin with. And it’s crazy, because all the building blocks are there, just waiting, and for some reason we can never seem to stack them up.

The next few months are going to be a whole lot harder than I thought. How am I supposed to pretend to love a guy I really am falling in love with, while at the same time trying not to fall in love with him because I don’t want him to break my heart again?

Chapter thirteen

Adam

It’sthedayafterall the mayhem, and I’m feeling more exhausted than I am angry. I still don’t get why Missy would have pulled such a stunt, but there’s a large part of me that doesn’t care. When push came to shove, and I needed her help, she helped. And even though there are a few issues we’re going to need to work through thanks to both of us acting like idiots, I feel hopeful that a little time and a little proximity will be a great help.

Truth is, Melissa James was hot three years ago, but now she’s a total knock-out. I can’t turn off my dick just because I’m mad at her. Somehow, knowing that she’d go to such lengths just to be in my life, even if as an employee rather than a lover, makes the thing get even harder.

I remember with great clarity how she can be when she leaves all her baggage at the entrance to the bedroom door and lets go. Our weekend together revealed a side to her I never would have guessed was hiding in there. And her little stint as Anna showed just how determined she can be when she wants to be.

And I’m not going to lie to myself, the sex we had recently was so good it has me longing for more. The only thing is, after I just told her I would need time to work out how I feel, the last thing we should be doing is getting right back into bed another time.

But dicks don’t care about logic, and the one attached to me is even more persistent than ever. At least now I don’t have to beat myself up over wanting one girl for three years and then suddenly wanting another one. Maybe that thing has Melissa radar?

Melissa has dedicated most of her day to Ethan and Evan, and Hilda has also been around. I think it’s the better part of valor to tell Hilda everything that happened while she was gone. Well, at least the parts she needs to know…that Melissa confessed to pretending to be Anna, and that Gena showed up trying to take the boys so now Melissa is herself, but she’s also supposedly my fiancée.

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