Page 53 of Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

“Thanks, and, uh, I’m sorry for peeking at your phone.” She stopped and straightened her back. “Actually, no. Let’s do this properly. I’m not sorry for accidentally seeing a private message on your phone, but I should have brought it up immediately and not used it as ammunition.”

This is what she wants to talk about first?

Xavier tilted his head. “You changed what you were going to say, why?”

A tiny crease emerged in the corners of her mouth. “I’m done with apologising for existing, for liking the things that I do, andfor being me. I’m no longer saying sorry when it’s not my fault. It’s a new thing I’m trying out.”

Xavier nudged her with his elbow. “Nice one. Don’t hold back.”

“I don’t intend to.”

He hoped this new forthright Hope had already told her family to go fuck themselves, but it was probably too soon to ask.

She continued. “The fact remains, Xavier, you should have told me about Beth. It’s a big thing. A huge thing. You should have shared it with me. I was pissed. I am still pissed that you kept nagging me to open up, while you were there being a locked vault. It’s pretty hypocritical, no? Screw that. Itishypocritical!”

Several nearby couples looked on in alarm and walked away while straining their necks to hear more. She ducked her head as if surprised to hear her own voice raised so loud and started walking again without waiting to see if he’d follow.

Xavier’s usual reaction to this kind of discussion was to run. Head down and sprint up and down a beach until the problems were no longer within earshot, therefore didn’t exist, but he’d been the one to push for this meeting. He’d be fucked if she was going to walk out of there before they’d resolved anything.

“You’re right,” he yelled after her.

“The other thing I want to know is-–what?” Hope shook her head slightly.

“You’re right. I’m a fuckwit. I should have confided in you. I should have, but I didn’t because I’m a fucking fuckwit with a side order of fuckwittery.”

Hope stopped walking.

He let her change gears as he went on. “For the record, not pregnant.”

“Who?”

He issued an indignant look to answer.

“Just late then?”

“Yeah, just late.”

Late and pregnant were two very different things, but Beth had always been a drama queen. It shouldn’t have surprised him that she’d worded it that way. Then again, he’d been stupid not to take it more seriously. At the time, he’d ignored it and hoped it would go away. Which it had, eventually. When Hope had made it a big deal, he had been forced to reassess his blasé attitude. He should have cared more.

The message from Beth later stating it was a false alarm hadn’t garnered mere relief. With it had come a large helping of guilt. He realised he shouldn’t have been so dismissive to begin with.

He also should have shared the first message with Hope. He hadn’t. During their argument in San Antonio, he’d made a big issue out of Hope prying on his phone. The day after, he’d asked himself why he’d been so upset by it. If their arrangement really was only about the fucking, then why would he care?

That was the thing. He did care. Xavier had been accused of not being the brightest star in the sky, but it had mostly been because he’d been embarrassed about being caught with his pants down. The last thing he wanted was for Hope to have a bad opinion of him. To him, she was perfection, unlike anyone he’d ever met. He ached when she wasn’t near. He knew his infatuation was one-sided, but he’d at least hoped to leave her with a good impression. After the fight, he’d assumed it was too late, that it was all over.

Instead, here she was.

The awkward silence continued. To fill the gap, Xavier pointed to the Ferris wheel. “Fancy a ride?”

“Wow. You really do have a one-track mind, don’t you?”

“No, I meant the—” He pointed again at the wheel.

Hope rolled her eyes. “I know, Surfer-Boy. It was a joke.” She shook her head and looped her arm through his. “Come on.”

The wooden Ferris wheel carriage lurched lazily skyward into the crisp night air. They left the faint smell of popcorn and farm animals down below and admired the sparkle of fairy lights decorating the spokes of the wheel. Despite the iron bars enclosing them, it was as though they were cocooned in their own private world.

The view was spectacular, but nothing compared to his companion. In spite of the tension between them, Xavier still found himself wondering if Hope was wearing underwear under her dress. He snuck a peek at her lap then chastised himself for his salacious wonderings.Focus, dickwad.

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