Page 12 of Addicted

“I feel like an idiot. Like, I let this all happen to me.” I blew out a breath and looked down at Cleo. She was giving me the saddest smile and that made me feel even worse. Cleo wasn’t the sad smile type, she was who you came to when you needed to laugh.

“It’s not all bad. I mean, remember that time your cat died, and he told you to stop crying because it wasn’t a big deal?”Cleo rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth.

I knew she was doing her thing and trying to cheer me up, but, that moment, that exact moment, was when things changed between Curtis and me.

We didn’t truly understand one another and as much as I fought for him, changed for him, we were never the same. He was a country boy who grew up in an almost all-white town and I was from LA. It was never going to work.

Deep down, I’d known it was over after that fight. I’d just accepted unhappiness.

I couldn’t do it, not anymore.

Pushing Cleo off me, I grabbed my phone and walked toward my shirt.

“Okay, maybe don’t think about when your cat died,” she said, watching me throw the shirt over my head.

“I’ll be right back.”

Cleo lived a quick five minutes from my apartment. Even though I’d told myself that I wasn’t going home tonight, my drunk brain said it was now or never.

I needed to get this off my chest and it had to be brutal and honest. There was no coming back for Curtis and me, and he needed to accept that.

“Wait.” Cleo was up and standing in front of me as I threw on my shoes. “Maybe this is a sober conversation?”

Reaching past her, I grabbed the ring and shoved it in my pocket.

“Nope. It’s a right-now conversation.”

“Shit, hold on.” Cleo ran to grab her shoes and threw them on as I flung open the door to the apartment.

“I said hold on! Damn!” I heard Cleo call out behind me, but I was already making for her stairs, taking them carefully and one at a time. Drunk didn’t mean stupid. I’d already almost thrown up, I didn’t want to make a pair of crutches my newest fashion accessory.

When I pushed through the door, I heard Cleo running behind me.

“Take your coat, you silly bitch.” She threw it over my shoulders, and I put it on.

We walked in silence for a second before Cleo started talking.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“You mean other than telling him to get his shit and get out?” I threw my head back and looked up as my breath clouded and floated up. It was a clear and breezy night. The city lights erased most of the stars, but I preferred the inky black void that I’d grown up seeing.

The stars made everything feel too big sometimes. I think they were a reminder I was stuck standing in the same place no matter how far I went. They also made me think of my dad, and that was something I definitely didn’t need to think about right now.

“Tonight?” Cleo asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“Depends on how it goes down, I guess. I may need to stay—”

“Oh, shut up. You know you can stay as long as you need to.” Cleo sighed. “Are you sure about this? I’m not gonna stop you, but this is a lot, Den.”

I thought about what she’d said. Itwasa lot. But I was holding tight to something that no longer existed.

For years, I’d been building a life on my own, I hadn’t been building it with Curtis. When I first started at Foxx, he wanted me to stop working. He didn’t see the value in what I did or the people that I helped. He wanted a version of me that was never going to exist.

Hell, I didn’t even know which version of me I even was anymore.

I came home to someone I couldn’t even talk to about my day because he didn’t care. And I didn’t ask about his day because I didn’t care, either.

I needed to put us both out of our misery because this ring, the one burning a giant hole straight through my pocket, wasn’t given out of love, it was from obligation. It was a precursor, the next step to something I didn’t want, and a sign of what I didn’t have with Curtis.I had to let him go.

---