Page 59 of Hard to Forgive

“I think it’s a bit early in getting to know Seb to be outing his clown fetish,” the dark haired one piped up as he reached across the table to Seb’s beer. Seb swatted his hand away.

“Order your own,” he scolded.

The dark haired man made a pouty face at Seb, and Seb looked away. Jonas laughed. “I guess I should introduce you?”

I nodded, because while watching the curly haired guy and the dark haired guy interact was amusing, it might be nicer to actually know who they were. Especially since that was the whole point of me joining them on their Thursday night out. “That’s Eli,” Jonas introduced, pointing to the curly haired guy, “and Holden.” He indicated the dark haired man.

I could have sworn he said those two were roommates, but maybe that was code for something.

Holden’s pout turned into an effusive grin. “Nice to meet you.”

Eli didn’t say anything. He just eyed me warily. “Where’s Matt?” he asked when he finally spoke.

“Running late,” Seb answered with a shrug.

“As usual,” Jonas and Holden chorused.

Jonas angled his head toward me. “We’re pretty sure Matt’s going to somehow be late to his own funeral.”

“Hey, he’s not always late,” Holden defended. “He was on time to every Marvel movie we ever saw in theater.” I couldn’t decide if he was genuinely defending their mutual friend or if he was teasing. The way he spoke left it open to interpretation, and I didn’t know him well enough to accurately interpret the tone. In the end, I decided it didn’t really matter. I didn’t know the dynamics of this group well enough to make those judgments, and it was kind of nice not to be in the spotlight.

As if he could hear my thoughts, Eli turned his attention to me. His amber eyes pierced me, like they could see straight through to my core. I shifted uncomfortably. “So, Jonas said that you’re nowhere near the asshole you were in high school?”

“Eli,” Jonas hissed.

“We’re sorry about him,” Holden jumped in immediately, glaring at Eli. “We can’t take him anywhere.”

Eli didn’t even seem to notice. He just kept his eyes trained on me. “I’m waiting for an answer.”

“Jonas and I have talked about what happened back then,” I told him coolly. I understood that Jonas was one of his best friends, but I wasn’t going to be villainized for something that happened seven years ago. I wasn’t the same person that I was back then, and Jonas had clearly forgiven me, I didn’t think I owed his best friend an explanation.

“I’ve heard.” Eli kept looking at me.

I could feel Jonas’s hand tightening on my thigh, where it’d fallen the moment Eli started glaring. I reached under the table and massaged it. I didn’t need him getting stressed over this. I knew how much these men meant to him. I wanted to make a good impression on them. I wanted his friends to like me, but I also didn’t want to have to bend over and kiss anyone’s ass to make that happen.

Jonas’s hand loosened under my attention, but it was still tight. One look at him made me relax my stance on Eli, because this was hurting Jonas. And I didn’t want to hurt him.

I drew in a deep breath and swallowed my pride. It tasted bitter, but Jonas was worth the suffering. “What happened in high school is not something I’m proud of. I didn’t know the impact it had on Jonas back then. I understand why you might have some issues with me because of it, but I think you need to trust that Jonas and I have worked this out between us.”

Eli looked at Jonas before he nodded. I wondered if he saw the same tension written all over him that I did. If he could see the way all of this was affecting Jonas. I understood that Eli was being protective. Hell, I kind of wanted to pull Eli out of the booth and have a private chat with him about triggering Jonas’s anxiety the way he had, so I could understand that protective urge better than Eli could possibly imagine.

“Just don’t fuck it up again,” he said. “You make him happy, so keep that up, and I won’t have a problem with you.”

I somehow doubted that. I had a feeling that Eli was the kind of person that it would take time to have him warm up to me. I made a private goal of getting to that point. A part of it was selfishness, I realized that. I didn’t like to lose, and having him glare at me like that felt like losing. The other part was a bit more honorable. I wanted him to like me, because he mattered to Jonas, and Jonas mattered to me.

If anyone asked, I’d use that as my reason. No one needed to know my more selfish motivations.

“That’s the plan,” I told him with a shrug of my shoulders. “And hopefully, you’ll see that, too.”

Jonas’s hand loosened enough for me to slip my fingers between his. He squeezed my hand and offered me a small smile. I could read the gratitude in his eyes, and suddenly, the selfish reasons didn’t matter nearly as much.

“Bets on how long it takes Matt to show up tonight?” Holden piped up, changing the topic so fast I thought I was going to get whiplash. I appreciated him taking advantage of the quiet moment to change the mood of the booth.

“Twenty minutes late,” Seb said immediately. “And he’ll rush in, offer to buy us all a round to make up for it…”

“No way,” Jonas argued. “He knows how important tonight is to me. He’s going to be thirty minutes late, because he started overthinking what shirt he was going to wear.”

“And then he’s going to show up in some shirt he’s had since high school,” Eli finished.

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