Page 51 of One More Baby for the Boss

“I can’t,” she said. “Itwasa mistake.”

“But why?”

“Because…” She blushed and looked away. “I let myself get emotionally involved. I told myself that wouldn’t happen. I promised myself it wouldn’t be like that. But I messed up. I fell for you.”

“Oh my God.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That’s why you left?”

“Don’t make me feel worse.”

“No — you shouldn’t feel badly at all, Alex. God. I’ve been falling for you for weeks now. You really didn’t know?”

She stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought I could keep it to myself, but I never imagined you just thoroughly hadn’t realized,” he said. “I’ve been so head over heels for you, Alex… you’re all I think about. And since you left, it’s only been that much worse. I haven’t been able to focus on work. I dream about you at night. You think I came here for Jack — well, maybe I did. But I would have come here without him, too. I’m here just as much for myself as for anything else. I’m here becauseI couldn’t live without you.”

She looked shocked at his words. He was a little shocked himself — he couldn’t believe he’d actually come out and said it. But it was the truth. From the moment she had left, he had found himself grappling with the realization of just how empty his life was without her. He had spent the past four years not knowing how lonely he was, and then Alex had come into his life and turned on all the lights, illuminating corners that had been darkened all that time. Now that she was gone, he couldn’t bear to return to that darkness. He needed her.

She was trembling, he realized. She was fighting to control it, but she couldn’t — her hand was shaking on the table. He reached out and took it in his own, looking deep into her eyes.

“It’s all right,” he murmured. “I know that’s a lot. You don’t have to answer all of it right now. But please — at least consider coming back to us, Alex. We’re lost without you. If you don’t feel the way I do, if your feelings for me are just a passing thing, that’s okay. We don’t have to act on it. It doesn’t have to go any further.”

I’ll die if it doesn’t go any further. But he didn’t want to pressure her. Alex had to be free to choose him or not choose him based on the reality of whatshewanted.

She pulled her hand away from his, and Elijah felt as if his heart was going to crack in two.

“We can’t,” she whispered. “Wecan’t.”

But her voice broke, and Elijah knew how much it pained her to turn him down.

“Why can’t we?” he asked. “What’s stopping you? Talk to me.”

She shook her head, and he saw to his dismay that her eyes were filling with tears.

He reached out again. This time he took both of her hands, and he was relieved when she allowed it. “Is this about Jack?” he asked.

“Of course that’s part of it,” she said. “We have to think about what’s best for Jack. Us figuring this stuff out — that’s not something we can inflict on him. I can tell just by seeing him that he’s having a hard enough time already, processing what’s going on between you and me, dealing with the fact that I had to leave. What happens if we can’t make it work between us? What if I come back, we give it a try, and then we realize that it was a mistake and I have to leave again? I mean, we’d break his heart. We’ve already been too cavalier with him. We can’t let that happen.”

“But he loves you,” Elijah said. “You know he does. Are you going to tell me we can’t take a chance on him having someone so important to him be a part of his life because itmightnot work out? I mean, what if it does work out? What if this could really be something great?”

The tears were dripping down her cheeks now. “Don’t say this stuff to me,” she whispered.

“Why not?” he said. “I think I’m falling in love with you, Alex. You mean enough to me that I’ve been searching through these mountain towns to try to find you. You mean so much to me that a month apart has only made me want you more. Do you really think I can just give up and go home? If there’s even a chance of this working out, I can’t do that. I want this too much.”

“Enough that you’d risk breaking Jack’s heart?”

“Enough that I don’t want to risk himnotgetting to experience something that could be wonderful. He’s the one who fought for this right from the very start. He’s the one who begged me to get involved in your life in the first place. He’s the one who noticed when you were fired from that crappy diner job — he’s the reason I hired you. He’s the one who first called you family and pushed to include you in his family tree. And after you left, he knew way before I did that something had been broken. He told me that I shouldn’t have let you go, and he was right. I shouldn’t have. I should have done whatever it took to get you to stay.”

“You couldn’t have made me stay that day. I’d been thinking about it all night. I was always going to leave.”

“I should have chased after you right away,” Elijah said. “I shouldn’t have waited a month. I shouldn’t have waited an hour. I should never have let you doubt the way I felt about you. Just… come home, Alex. Come back and let’s try this again. I won’t make the same mistakes twice.”

She closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath.

“Alex,” he insisted, “you’re the missing piece in my life. I am not whole without you. And neither is Jack.”

“Pieces,” she breathed.

“What?”

---