Page 39 of One More Baby for the Boss

“Really? You had to? What if that had happened while you weren’t already there? Are you telling me your foreman couldn’t have handled it?”

“Alex, you don’t understand how serious something like that is. We were able to save the horse, but it was touch and go. Accidents like that are how horses are killed. I couldn’t just walk away. Not if there was something I could do to help.”

Alex shook her head. “I can’t believe you’d say that. You’re talking about a horse.”

“I’m a rancher, Alex. Horses are kind of important.”

“Are they more important than your son?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not the one being ridiculous,” she told him, rising to her feet. She picked up the paper towel of broken pretzels, carried it over to the trash can, and shoved it inside. He watched her, wondering where this was heading, irritated at how presumptuous she was being. She couldn’t seriously expect that nothing would ever come up for him at work, could she?

“Look,” he said, trying to keep himself calm. “You’ve made your point about how I need to spend more time with Jack. And I think I’ve heard you out about that. You said yourself that you’ve seen me making a change. That doesn’t mean I can forget about my other responsibilities. I still have things I have to take care of, and when something like this happens, I can’t just run off because my son has a school thing that his nanny is perfectly capable of taking care of.”

“You saw how hard he worked on this!” Alex said. “You saw how many hours he put into it, and how proud he was of it. And today was the presentation, it wasfamily day, and you didn’t even bother to show up for it.”

“He had you there,” Elijah said, exasperated. “And it’s not like I haven’t seen his family tree. He knows I’m proud of him.”

“Elijah. It was family day. You are theonlyfamily member he has, and you didn’t go. I’m the nanny. I know he put me on his family tree, and that’s really nice and sweet, but I am not a replacement for a parent! You can’t not show up to these things just because I’m going to be there.”

“Well, I can’t make it every single time,” Elijah said. “And frankly, this isn’t up to you, Alex. I know you care about him. I get that, and I appreciate it. But you’re right — you’renothisparent, and you can’t call me out like this for parenting him badly. Sometimes I’m going to make choices that won’t be what you would have done, and you have to figure out a way to make your peace with that.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” she snapped. “It isn’t about me. It isn’t about what I can live with. Do you think it bothersmethat you weren’t there? I don’t give a damn. This is about him. If you’d seen the look on his face when he realized you had missed it, you wouldn’t be so cavalier about it.”

“He’s a child. It’s only natural that he would get upset when things don’t go his way,” Elijah said.

But he felt a stab of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. He knew the expression Alex was talking about, and it always hurt to see his son disappointed. The idea that Jack might be hurt like that because ofhim, even if there had been a perfectly valid reason for his absence today, was hard to cope with. He never wanted to be the person making Jack sad.

“This isn’t about things not going his way,” Alex snapped. “You talk like he’s a little boy who didn’t get the toy he wanted at the store or something. This is a lot bigger than that. He got up in front of his whole class today and talked about his family. About the people who mean the most to him. Every other child in that room had at least one parent there. And meanwhile,yourson was explaining to his new classmates that he doesn’t have a mother, and anyone who had their eyes open would have noticed that he didn’t have a father present either. It was heartbreaking, Elijah. He was devastated.”

“Well, he can show it to me at home,” Elijah said uncomfortably. He was finding himself forced to reckon with the fact that Alex had a point. He should have been there. He knew he should havebeen there. He had known how important it was to Jack. It was just that he had convinced himself in the moment that he didn’t really have to follow through, that Jack was just a child, that work was more important and that he would be able to explain himself later.

“I’ll talk to Jack,” he told Alex. “I’ll tell him what happened.”

“He’s just a little kid, Elijah.”

“I know who he is, thanks,” Elijah said, feeling nettled. “You don’t have to keep throwing this in my face. I’m doing my best here.”

“If you were doing your best, you would have been there for him when he needed you. You’re his father. And you know, he’s just starting out right now, but this isn’t going to last forever. You have him for a finite amount of time, and then it’s over. When he’s in high school, do you think he’s going to want his father showing up to watch his school presentations?”

“I think you’re being dramatic.”

“He wants you now,” Alex said. “He needs you to show up for him right now. You’re all he has. And…” She took a deep breath. “Elijah, I hate to put it like this, but he’s allyouhave too. You two are each other’s whole family, and if you don’t put each other first, there isn’t anyone else who will.”

Fury surged in him. “Don’t speak to me that way.” How dare she? He understood what she was saying. She was trying to call out the fact that he’d lost Stephanie. She was telling him that he couldn’t afford to relax at all in his relationship with his son, because that was the only relationship he had left.

Heknewthat. Some days it was hard to think about anything else. He certainly didn’t need her rubbing it in, reminding him of how alone he was. It was a cruel and hurtful thing for her to bring up.

“You’re right,” he told her coldly. “You’re not a part of this family, Alex. Don’t act like you know everything about us, because you don’t. You just work here.”

“I justwork here?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been telling me? Your bond with Jack doesn’t count for anything. None of the bonds you’ve made since you came to stay with us matter. That’s what you’re saying, right? None of this has been real.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” she protested.

“Well, either you’re an important figure in Jack’s life or you aren’t. And you’re right, Alex. You’re completely right. You’rejustthe nanny. Don’t try to talk to me as if you have the same care and responsibility for him as I do. He’s not your son.”

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