Page 55 of His First Baby Rodeo

Mac knew his name was about to be called, but suddenly he couldn’t imagine caring about anything more than what she was about to say. He took hold of her wrists and pulled her hands down gently. “Tell me,” he murmured. “What’s the matter?”

She sighed. “Iwasworried about your arm,” she said. “That was true. I’m still worried about that. But I would have worried about that no matter when you decided to get out there again. I’ll always worry for you, and I don’t think my worry is any reason for you not to do what you love. In fact, it would break my heart if you quit the rodeo because of the way I feel about that. I would never have wanted you to, and I’d never ask you to.”

“But you did seem like you didn’t want me to join the tour,” he said.

“I didn’t,” she admitted. “But it’s because I was being selfish, Mac. I didn’t want you to leave me. That’s why I tried to convince you to stay. And I’m so sorry for that.”

Mac didn’t know what to say. “You didn’t want me to leave?” he repeated.

“I know,” she said quickly. “I know I promised you I would take care of my own heart. I know that was always the deal. And I am, and I will. But in the moment, when I found out you were coming to do this, I knew it meant the end of everything between the two of us, and… well, that crushed me a little. I should have taken it in stride, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I cared about you too much, and I had come to depend on what we’ve had between us. I didn’t want it to end. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Mac hurried to interrupt her. “I didn’t want it to end either, El.”

“You didn’t?”

“God, no. But the writing was on the wall, from the moment I got my cast off. And…” He closed his eyes. “I could feel myself starting to fall in love with you. And that terrified me, because I knew we had no future.”

“But does it have to be that way?”

Mac’s heart pounded. She was saying aloud the thing he’d been avoiding for so long. She was finally asking the question.

“I never meant to fall for you,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t either,” El said. “But I think it happened anyway, Mac. And I know we told each other it wasn’t going to be like that — you don’t owe me anything. If you tell me to go away right now, I will. I promise you that.”

“I’m not sending you away.”

“Good,” she said. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her and allowed himself to hold her close.

“Mac Palmer!” the announcer called.

The crowd roared. They knew who Mac Palmer was. They had come here to see him.

But someone else had come here to see him too.

She tensed. “You have to go?”

Mac shook his head. “I don’t have to go anywhere,” he said, feeling as if nothing could take him away from her right now. The idea of walking away from the conversation they were in the middle of was impossible to contemplate, and besides, he had walked away from El Moyle too many times already. Who knew how many more chances he would get to make things right with her? He wasn’t about to give this one up.

He waved to the security guard. “Can you contact someone on that walkie talkie of yours and let them know I won’t be going out today?”

El stared. “Can you do that?” she whispered. “Isn’t this your very first show since joining the tour?”

He nodded.

“You’ve got to go,” she said, starting to pull away from him. “I don’t want to keep you from something so important.”

“No.” Mac caught her arm and held her. “El, this is the most important thing. This, right here, between you and me. If I walk away from you now, I’ll never find out how this ends, and I can’t live with that. If they kick me off the tour, I can handle it. But I can’t lose you.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“I should never have let you get away in the first place,” he said. “Iknewhow much you meant to me. I just couldn’t admit it to myself, because I could see how hard it was going to be to make it work. No — it wasn’t only that. It’s also that I’m afraid of being too vulnerable. I didn’t want to give you the power to hurt me. But I was only hurting myself by avoiding the way I feel for you. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”

“You do mean it,” she breathed.

“More than I’ve ever meant anything in my life.”

She looked into his eyes. “There’s something else I have to tell you,” she said. “And I hope it doesn’t change the way you feel.”

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