“Yeah, those are real fears, Simone. I can’t lie to you about that. You’d both be in serious legal trouble if you get caught. But Hugo’s more than trustworthy. We both know that. Besides, he has a lot at stake, too.”
"Still, the thought of facing jail time terrifies me," I admitted, hugging my knees to my chest as I imagined the worst-case scenarios playing out.
“It should.” Seth shifted on the couch, turning his body to face me directly. His gaze was steady and sincere, and I found myself drawn in by its intensity. "If you want to do this, I trust Hugo. I've known him since we were kids, so have you, and there's nobody I'd trust more with something like this. He's smart, resourceful, and he cares about you. He won't let anything happen to you.Iwon’t let anything happen to you."
"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly, searching Seth's eyes for any hint of uncertainty.
"Positive," he replied firmly. "Besides, you’ll make sure everything looks legitimate – shared living spaces, joint bank accounts, the works. If you’re careful, nobody will ever suspect a thing."
I couldn't help but feel a small flicker of hope ignited within me. Maybe this crazy plan wouldn't completely ruin my life. It was a risk, yes, but knowing how much Seth has thought about this and all the possible ramifications made me feel a little better about considering it.
"Okay, Seth," I said, finally meeting his gaze with a tentative smile. "Thank you for telling me. I'll think about it."
He nodded and headed toward his bedroom.
And for the next few days, I thought about nothing but marrying Hugo.
At first it seemed like a wild, impossible, and probably stupid idea. But as I continued to mull it over, I saw the logic. I saw the benefits. Not to mention envisioning being close, really close, to Hugo. My thoughts always wandered back to the days spent with Hugo during our childhood. Of course, back then, I was just the little sister tagging along, but he and Seth never let me get lost as we ran through the sunflower fields near Nonna's house. Of course, they would run like crazy lunatics but they would stop every few minutes, make their distinctive holler, wait for me to answer and then wait until I caught up. He had always been a reliable friend to both Seth and me.
But part of me felt like we had crossed a line with this suggestion and I was uncomfortable being around Hugo, waiting for him to bring up the subject. I became an expert at avoiding Hugo at work. It was both easy and a challenge considering his schedule was jam-packed and he barely had a moment to breathe. But at the end of the day, hewasmy boss, and that required a certain amount of interaction.
Days had passed and Hugo still hadn’t said anything to me or tried talking to me. Part of me assumed he changed his mind, or Seth had everything wrong and this was all just a misunderstanding.
A few nights later, I was sitting, chilling at home on one of the barstools at the kitchen island, absentmindedly dunking and re-dunking a tea bag into my cup.
“Hey,” Seth announced himself as he walked in the door, breaking my train of thought. He walked to the fridge for a beer.
“Another late night, huh?”
Seth’s heavy sigh was enough of a confirmation that work was burning him out.
“I can’t stop thinking about what would happen if I went through with it,” I said without introduction or preamble. Seth seemed to immediately know I meant Hugo. “I’m also worried that it would jeopardize my relationship with Hugo. You know, as a friend and as his employee.”
Seth set his beer bottle down on the granite counter and looked at me seriously.
“I get it, Simone. I really do.”
I nodded as he picked up his bottle, patting me on the shoulder as he walked to the living room. I heard the vague sound of the NESN announcers calling the ninth inning of the Red Sox game. It was only May, and the hope was still alive that the team would go anywhere this season.
Just like me.
I laid my forehead down on the cool granite. A brown curl of hair started tickling my nose, and I tried to blow it out of my face. The curl just limply flew and then slammed back down on my face, as if telling me to "get real".
I lifted my head with a sigh and forced myself off the stool.
Like a zombie, I moved through my routine: shorts and an ancient, threadbare Drew Bledsoe t-shirt for pajamas, did my skincare routine, brushed my teeth; got into bed, and…
Staring at the ceiling was apparently a new part of my routine.
I knew I needed a change, and I knew that nursing school would help me get into a more sustainable career that I would actually love, but was I really willing to risk everything just to get an education? I mean, it wasn’tthatexpensive, was it? And I could keep working.
And what if we got caught?
Mom and Nonna would be heartbroken.
Could I handle living this lie?
I cared about Hugo. Hell, I careda lotabout Hugo. I hadfeelingsfor Hugo. Which brought up my deepest, darkest concern.