Page 33 of Secret Enemy Protector

Is that jealousy I sense?

8

REBECCA

It must have been obvious why I came out looking for Gretchen.

I wasn't looking for Gretchen. I was looking for…well, Gretchen and Jordan.

They both left me to work, and I could vaguely recall Gretchen offering to show Jordan around, and Jordan agreeing to that offer. Jordan knows his way around the office; he has been here more times than would be legal to call him a newbie.

That is why, when I process it in my head repeatedly, some parts of me just feel like both walking alone is a little suspicious.

Whatever would Gretchen have in her mind?

She's young, Jordan is young…

Obviously, it's a big hit, and some parts of me, the insecure part, just goes“No!”.

That can't happen, not under my watch. When I eventually find them, I can see Jordan's eyes burn holes into me, asking the question, "Are you jealous?"

If he were to ask that with his mouth in real time, I don't know how I would have answered the question.

Anyways, with Gretchen back in the office doing some mundane tasks, Jordan stays too, primarily because there is no other person outside of the office that he can really relate to.

Unless I haven't studied him properly enough, he seems the introverted type, so I put my money on the fact that he'd rather remain indoors, staring at my face while I work, than go outside where he knows no one.

That's what happens for the next three hours until it's eventually time to get Skylar.

"I guess it's goodbye till tomorrow?" I walk him out of the office. At this point, he uses public transportation to get home, then takes one of the cars to go and get Skylar. He can't take the one that is here because that's what I'd use to come home.

"Oh well, it depends," he says casually. "I might still be at your place by the time you get back."

"I would like that." I smile before giving him a slight tap on his arm. I'm turning back to go into the office. I wonder how many people noticed our interaction and began drawing conclusions.

I just hope that by the time the rumors begin to spread, I won’t care.

If I’m being true to my desires, I think it's time for another one of our late-night bedroom sessions where we have a brief conversation before, I sleep.

If I'm lucky, maybe I can get another kiss…if I'm luckier, maybe more. The thing is, I have no idea how to bring up that conversation, and it bothers me.

All through the rest of the workday, that is the only thing that occupies my mind until I get back home. True to his word, I find him on the couch watching television with Skylar.

"Mommy!" my little baby yells and flies into my arms with an excited giggle.

"Oh, hello there, my sweet baby," I coo, peppering her tiny face with all the kisses my lips can give in a short period of time. I'm tempted to tell Jordan,"I saved some kisses for you as well."

So tempted, that I have to clench my fists to stop it from coming out.

That would be too out of pocket. In fact, the whole conversation would be entirely out of pocket, and based on the coincidence at which it happened the last time, I do not think it is possible to recreate it, at least not without sounding like I really want him to kiss me again.

That's not how I want to come across.

From our mannerisms, both of us have clearly stated that what happened that night was a mistake. I apologized, and he agreed to move on.

We have done nothing else to validate the fact that we still want to continue on those terms. In fact, a part of me still thinks that keeping him at arm's length, if not going shorter than that, is the safest way to handle the relationship between the both of us.

That's just a small part of me. The rest just…wants him. Luckily for me, as much of an emotional person as I am, there's a lot of importance that I attach to logic, and at least for now, the logical part of me prevails.

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