Page 78 of Jump Back On

"Then I approve," he assured me. "Cody, ain't no secrets you need to keep from me." Then he chuckled again. "I also brought the photo album."

"Daddy!" I groaned, thankful Ben chose that moment to return.

Maybe a food run would be enough for my father to forget all about those pictures. Never mind that I wasn't the one who'd gotten hurt! Sadly, I had a real bad feeling about this, but I didn't really mind. For some reason, letting Tanner and J.D. see my stupid pictures felt kinda right.

It felt like the sort of thing a dad did with his daughter's boyfriends, and I liked that a lot more than I'd ever admit out loud.

Chapter29

Without Ado charged at J.D.,hooking him right in the gut with a horn. Blood sprayed. J.D.'s limp body flew into the air with a hole through the middle, proving he was dead. When he hit the ground, his eyes were up, staring at the ceiling.

Then Cody jumped off the chutes and ran across the dirt, screaming. The bull turned to charge at her, and I just stood there. While the chaos played out, my feet were stuck. I couldn't move them. Even looking down, I couldn't see them! All I had were legs that disappeared into the sand!

Yelling at Cody to run, to watch out, and that the bull was coming, I did everything possible to get my feet out of the sand. That only made it turn to mud - or maybe concrete. It was both, and wouldn't let me go.

My heart was pounding. My throat burned with how hard I was yelling, but it didn't help. Without Ado hit Cody hard, dropping her into the dirt just to crush her under each and every one of his hooves. I could hear the snaps as her bones broke. I watched as she died right in front of my eyes. Both of my lovers, dead, and it was my fault. I hadn't moved. I hadn't tried to help. I hadn't -

Sucking in a breath, I jerked upright, blinking against the darkness in the room.

My heart was still pounding, but the beeps of the medical equipment grounded me. Turning, I saw J.D. in the bed, the white blankets pulled up across his chest. That let me relax a bit. He was alive. It had just been a dream. A shitty one, but just a dream.

And yet my hands were still shaking, my heart wouldn't stop pounding, and I felt jittery all over. My eyes had that pressure like I'd been crying in my sleep, and my nose was all stopped up. Fuck. But it had just been a dream. Nothing more than a horrible dream. It wasn't real.

I still needed to walk it off, so I eased out of my chair, glancing at the other sleepers in the room. Cody was stretched out on the recliner that turned into something like a bed. It was narrow but laid down flat, and she needed her rest. After all, she'd be riding in a few hours.

Beside her was Dean, her father. The man had his feet kicked out, his arms crossed over his chest, and his head was back. He'd been snoring off and on, but was stopped now. In the darkness, I looked at him hard to be sure his eyes were closed. I was pretty sure they were.

Trying not to wake them, I made my way around the bed. My hands were still shaking, but my pulse was slowing down as I moved. A few more steps got me to the door. As quietly as I could, I opened it a hair and slipped out.

Then I threw my back against the wall and let it hold me up. Fuck, but that nightmare had sucked. Both of them? Seeing the way their bodies had been bent, broken, and destroyed? The feeling of being too slow, then locked in place? Yeah, it had rocked me.

The panic had been the same I'd felt when I was told my girlfriend had died. The helplessness was a part of it. The grief brought back a lot of bad memories, but it had just been a dream. A reminder that I couldn't save everyone. A big ol' slap in the face that I was only human.

The shitty part was the gnawing fear J.D. would blame me for not being fast enough. It tangled with my insecurities, trying to convince me I wasn't good enough. I was the new guy in the bullfighting crew. Never mind that I'd been working with Jorge and Isaac for years now! I was still the newest, and that was something that never quite went away when lives were depending on me.

His life.

Her life.

Pushing out a heavy breath, I bent and cradled my head in my hands. This was dumb. I knew it was dumb, but that fucking dream had really shaken me. The sight of them dead? It kept flickering behind my eyes, refusing to just fade away like most dreams would.

Then the door clicked beside me and Dean stepped out. "Tanner?" he asked.

I quickly straightened. "He ok?" I asked, thinking J.D. might need something.

"Sleeping," Dean promised as he eased the door closed again. "What about you, son?"

Scrubbing at my face, I tried one more time to push the fucking nightmare away. "No, I'm ok. Just needed a minute upright."

"Mm." Cody's dad moved to stand beside me, shoulder to shoulder against the small section of wall outside J.D.'s room. "How you holding up with all this?" he asked.

I just huffed out a laugh. "Well, the nightmare sucked."

"Yeah, those do," he agreed, sounding like he understood completely. "But don't you let them start making you doubt yourself, ok? I saw that save you made."

"But I didn't make asave," I countered. "I couldn't get there before the bull hit J.D. Twice!"

"Nope," he agreed. "Ain't no way for two feet to outrun four. They know that, though. They also know you'll make it stop."

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