Page 38 of The Wolves At My Sides

“Good, because I’m so fucking tired. Tired of doing it all. Tired of being the only one in a room or an apartment. Tired. Just fucking tired,” Fen said, through his tears, his face still buried. “Alone was safer, but I’m so tired of it.”

“You’re safe now,” Marcus cooed to him. “We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“I want to believe you,” he sobbed.

“And you will,” I said, still rubbing circles on his back. “After the claiming vows you’ll know for sure.”

“I can’t do that tonight,” he sobbed again. “I can’t stop crying.”

“You don’t have to stop crying,” Marcus said. “As for the claiming vows, Irwin and I aren’t going anywhere. Hell, we don’t even have to do them while we’re at the resort if you’re not ready. We’ll be here when you’re ready, Fen.”

“Will you carry me to bed?” He sniffled through his tears.

I moved back to give Marcus room to stand up and followed on his heels as he carried Fen through the suite back to the bedroom. I grabbed the blankets from the bottom of the bed and had them ready to pull over us as Marcus lay Fen down. He burrowed his face into Marcus’s chest and reached back to find my hand. He pulled my arm around and hugged it to his chest.

“We’re here,” I whispered, “and we’ll always be here.”

Chapter Thirty

Fen

I woke up the next morning feeling cried out, a bit dehydrated, and a bit like a fool. Last night, I broke down. My brain just finally exploded with everything I kept to myself. Maybe they had to know what I really felt before we could move forward. Maybe I had to tell them, or I’d never be able to let down my walls.

“You’re afraid the claiming vows will show them when our parents died,”my wolf whispered into my thoughts.

He was right about that too. I hadn’t realized it until the furry asshole whispered it into my thoughts, but he was spot on. On top of all the normal how the heck did I stay a virgin this long shit, I had that to deal with. How could I make either of them watch that? Was I even worth that?

“We are to them,”my wolf said.“I don’t think we’ll see it again. If they go first – we won’t see what they see, I don’t think. I mean at least in theory. They’ll see our memories, but our side of the link won’t be open. We won’t have to see it. I don’t want to see it again, either.”

“Fen?” Irwin’s voice startled me from my thoughts.

He was still wrapped tight around me from behind. I pushed my back into him wanting to let him know I heard him.

“You alright, hon?” He asked, his voice groggy, but gentle.

“Yeah. Just ---”

“Emotionally hungover,” Marcus said.

“That’s one way to describe it. All the pain and none of the fun of having drank last night,” I let out a half-hearted laugh.

“Let’s order fancy coffees from room service,” Irwin piped up. “I bet they could do frappes. Probably won’t be as good as the ones from Bad Wolf Cakes 2.0, but they’ll be okay.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Marcus chuckled.

Irwin crawled out of bed to make the call and I met Marcus’s gaze. If one of them had to see my parents die, he’d want to be the one. He’d want to protect Irwin from it or at least let him know ahead of time what he was in for.

“About the claiming vows, you might see my parents and you might see them--- the night--- When Bram,” I couldn’t get the words out.

“If the magic thinks that’s important, I will,” Marcus nodded. “No one wants to see someone go through that, but if it happens, we’ll get through it.”

“It’s almost too much to ask,” I whispered.

“Nonsense. What was too much to ask was that monster putting you through that, putting your parents and everyone else through that. Loving you after you’ve been through something so horrible isn’t too much to ask, Fen. Everyone deserves to be loved.”

“You mean that. Your scent is honest right now,” I sighed.

“I do mean that. Just because someone’s been through hell doesn’t mean they’re unloveable. It just means they’ve been through hell and may need a hand to help pull them out of it. I’ve got two hands.”

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