Page 37 of The Wolves At My Sides

No one said something for a long moment. For a second, I feared that they were talking about me over their mating link or maybe waiting for me to tell them exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life. Except, Marcus’s gaze was soft and contemplative.

“The way I see it,” he said finally breaking the silence, “anything short of me getting a vasectomy means we’re always going to run the risk of both of you being pregnant at the same time. With the true-mate response going and carrying on for so long, probably more of a risk than ever right now, birth control or not.” He directed the last part at Irwin. “And it’s not like we used a condom today. So, unless I’m missing something, I don’t think there isn’t a reason why you both couldn’t have babies if that’s what you wanted? Don’t say they’ll be more work for me. Taking care of my mates and children isn’t work.”

Irwin glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I squeezed his knee.

“I do want a baby and I do want to stay home and take care of the baby and the house, at least for a while. I can’t promise I’ll want to do that forever, but at least while the baby’s little. At least, until whatever coils up inside of me from my past learns to decompress,” I said.

“Then we’ll make it work,” Marcus grinned, setting aside his empty plate. “I’m not saying more kids will be easy in the first few months, but I think they’ll be worth it. That only leaves one question.”

“What’s that?” Irwin asked.

“Do you want to stay in or go out tonight?” He asked.

“Stay in,” Irwin and I both laughed at the same time.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Irwin

Marcus pushed the cart out into the hall for Joe or one of his co-workers to retrieve and I grabbed the remote to see what the resort offered in the way of television. I was usually a book-guy, but reading was mostly a solitary activity and I wasn’t in the mood to be on my own. Also, I hoped watching a movie would let Fen know we didn’t have to do anything else until he was ready. I leaned back against one arm of the sofa, and he lay back with his head on my thigh and his feet dangling off the other end.

When Marcus returned, he flopped down on the floor in front of the sofa, close enough for both of us to touch. He did that a lot at home too. Sitting on the floor was probably pretty common when you grew up with so many siblings. Maybe it was just a culture thing from the Sanctuary, I never asked.

I chose a romantic comedy that I’d seen before – one with a happy ending that didn’t have too many smutty scenes. Fen played with the fine hairs on the back of Marcus’s neck as the movie started up. By the time it ended we were both on the floor with him, because the sofa just wasn’t big enough for all three of us to lay down and cuddle on.

Marcus kissed my temple and rolled over to face Fen. The other man shot him a smirk that made me weak in the knees.

“Yes, to everything that smile says,” Marcus said, “but hold that thought. Hold it right there. This will be your first time. Do you want anything special? Rose petals? Wine? Champagne? Anything?”

“Not alcohol. I actually want to remember my first time,” Fen laughed.

“Anything? Anything at all. I mean it. This should be special for you and for all of us.”

“I’m not that complicated, I guess,” Fen shrugged, smelling uncomfortable in the spotlight. “I want to be with you guys, and I want you there afterwards. I guess, that’s the biggest thing. I’ve seen so many relationships fall apart because of sex or after it or --- Sex isn’t always a positive thing for everyone. I had a lot of fun earlier, but I want it all. The sex, romping, and the ---” He took a deep breath. “This. I still want this afterwards.”

“Fen,” Marcus sat up and took Fen with him.

I scooted around to be part of the circle they formed.

“Do you think we just want you for sex?” Marcus asked, cutting right to the chase.

I would’ve taken a gentler approach, but Marcus beat me to the question.

“No,” Fen shook his head. “Not logically. No one has someone stay in their house for a month and barely even kiss them if they just want them for sex, but in the back of my mind, yes, that question comes up. It’s stupid and it’s not logical and---” Fen’s eyes misted over.

I took his hand in mine.

“It’s not stupid,” I said. “You’re not stupid.”

“No, I’m traumatized. I know. I get told all the time,” I groaned.

“While this probably does have something to do with that, everyone needs reassurance, Fen,” Marcus said. “Everyone. Me, Irwin, fucking Clarence fucking Moonscale, everyone needs reassurance. We’re people. Even if you leave off our inner beasts, we’re meant to live in a group. Our inner beasts are too. We all want to know that the people we love and count on will be there to love and count on us too. No one wants to fall in love if someone isn’t there to catch them and I promise you, we’re here to catch you.”

Fen blinked fast and swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. His bottom lip trembled, and a sob tore from his throat as he flung himself into Marcus’s arms. My heart pounded in my ears as I moved closer to both of them. Marcus cradled Fen’s head in one arm and held my hand with the other. I rubbed small circles on Fen’s back as he cried.

“I don’t want to be alone,” his words came out muffled.

“You’re not alone anymore if you don’t want to be,” Marcus said. “You have us and we’re not going anywhere without you.”

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