Page 36 of Bikers & Bars

Valentina was pushed against her car while Kraken sucked on her neck. When she saw me, she smirked and shoved him off of her.

“My date is here, we can finish this later,” she teased him.

Kraken groaned in protest but gave me a smirk and wink before walking away. I swear, every man in this MC was confident, arrogant without being insufferable, and had no fucking shame.

“So, what’s this date about?” I questioned as she motioned for me to climb in. We got in the back and the driver took off, giving nothing away.

“You and I just needed a little catch up time,” she hedged. “I figured what better way to do that than lunch at this cute little Indian restaurant across town.”

“I’m always here for some naan and curry,” I said, relaxing back as Valentina turned on the radio. Apparently, we weren’t chatting yet.

It took only fifteen minutes to get across town. The new restaurant she’d found wasn’t something I’d heard of before but Valentina adventures were always fun.

“Ah, you came back!” the man behind the counter called out as we walked in. He hurried out to greet us and gave her a slight bow before showing us to a table in the back, away from the few customers seated. He even grabbed some reserved signs and stuck them on the tables surrounding us so we had privacy.

Dining with Valentina meant we always got the VIP treatment. At least she was amazing and made it worth their while. There was no entitlement on her end, she simply paid for what she wanted and they treated her with kindness in return.

“We’ll take the usual assortment. Anything we don’t finish we’ll pack up for the family,” she said to the waiter once he’d taken our drink order.

After clarifying a few things he hurried back to put in the order, leaving us alone. Suddenly, I was nervous.

“So, what’s going on?” I demanded as gently as possible. It’s not that I didn’t like seeing Valentina but I had no clue why we were hanging out just the two of us.

“Can’t I just get one of my favorite girls for lunch?” she asked, her lips pressed together to avoid laughing at my accusing glare.

“Yes, but this isn’t that. I can tell.”

“You’re always so observant,” she chuckled before letting out a sigh. “Really, I just thought you could use a chat, Eliza. You were acting a bit off during the bucket list, your ex is back in town and probably no longer just an ex. And I can tell there’s something more going on in that head of yours. You’re losing your confidence.”

“How do you always know when we’re struggling?” I mumbled, giving her a small, sad smile.

“Spill. You know I’m a no judgment zone,” she said. “If you don’t want to talk, don’t, but I’m your impartial venting space.”

For once, I didn’t want to hold back. Maybe a solid venting session was just what I needed. It was a relief to have someone be that venting space where I didn’t have to be the mom friend.

The words were spilling out of me in a rush and she listened without interrupting. There was an easygoing expression on her face that never faltered. It made telling her my worst moments a lot fucking easier.

I spilled every secret, worry, and stress that had been blaring in my head since I was a teenager on the run. Damien, infertility, constantly on the run and no idea where my life was going. So, I focused all of my efforts on my friends but now they were all starting to find their way and it left me right back where I was when I was eighteen.

Lost and confused.

“Okay, how do you want my response to be?” she asked when I’d finished and finally took a few breaths. “Gentle? Blunt but compassionate? Say nothing?”

“Blunt,” I said with a sigh. “I need the unfiltered Valentina version of brutal honesty.”

“I think there’s more to this than just fertility,” she started. “What is it you want out of life? Do you see kids as part of that life? Are you avoiding it just because of your infertility or is it something you’re set against for your own reasons?”

“Honestly, no. But there’s that part of me that is worried I’ll regret that decision someday,” I admitted.

“There will be options, whether it’s now or ten years in the future,” she said with a shrug. “Adoption, surrogacy, they’re not time restricted. And if you don’t want kids of your own, don’t.”

“Did you want kids?”

“Oh, god no,” she laughed. “I’m the cool aunt. I was never mom material. I’m far too selfish of a person. I like being the center of attention and going where I want to far too much.”

“That makes sense,” I said with a chuckle. “That’s kind of how I feel. I’ve spent years thinking that kids were my destiny and I should want them, but honestly, I’m happy being able to just enjoy my life right now.”

“Good girl. Sometimes you just have to admit it out loud.”

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