Page 84 of Be My Endgame

Usually, Lee would look away, close his eyes—this time, he held Alex’s gaze when he came, adding to the mess on Alex’s belly. Alex drew him into another kiss right after, both of them still breathing harshly, sticky skin and wandering hands, tiredness creeping in around the edges. They stumbled into the shower together and brushed their teeth side by side, hips bumping, exhaustion turning Lee’s vision a little hazy by the time they fell into bed. He slid up against Alex’s back and curved an arm around his chest, Alex tangling their fingers.

It should be enough.

“I don’t want this to end.” Lee hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but now that he had, there was no turning back. He pressed his nose against Alex’s neck, eyes closed. “No matter what happens tomorrow, whether we win or lose—I don’t want this to end.”

He could feel Alex’s chest rise with a deep breath, then Alex twisted around to catch Lee’s mouth for another kiss, slow and deep. Maybe it was an answer or maybe it wasn’t—either way it was all Alex offered.

Lee fell asleep with Alex in his arms and a dozen questions pressing up against the back of his mind.

The soft patterof rain woke Alex. They must have moved during the night because he remembered going to sleep with Lee tucked up behind him while now it was Lee lying on his back, Alex curled up against Lee’s side with his head in the crook of Lee’s neck. He inhaled—warmth and a faint trace of the hotel’s shower gel.

I don’t want this to end.

The words crept through the cracks of Alex’s lingering sleep haze and broke it apart.Whether we win or lose—I don’t want this to end.But it had to, of course. This wasn’treal. It was a bubble, and they couldn’t just pretend that it wouldn’t burst once it collided with reality. Maybe it was different for Lee because he didn’t have family expectations resting heavy on his shoulders. But Alex did, and he had, and—and—

Except his father might go to prison.

Something clamped down on his chest because what did that mean? What did that fuckingmean?

Alex inhaled through his teeth, brief dizziness washing over him. He needed … air. Needed space to breathe. It was too hot in here, and Lee was too close, too much.

He slid out of bed like a thief in the night, pulling on whatever clothes he found on the floor, the jeans his own, the T-shirt not. After grabbing his phone off the bedside table, he paused for just a second to stare at Lee’s peaceful face.

Was there a way for Alex to keep him?

Alex padded out of the room on socked feet, quietly closed the door, and laced up his trainers in the hallway outside. Jeff’s room lay further along the corridor, but he was sharing with Mason, another striker, and Alex didn’t want a random teammate to witness his epiphany with a healthy side serving of freaking out. So instead, he unlocked his phone and sent a‘You up?’to Jeff.

Since Alex didn’t want to linger in the hallway, he headed for the lifts. Jeff’s response came just as Alex exited into the lobby.‘Part of me is,’it said, followed by an aubergine emoji.

Trust Jeff to take any harmless question straight to the gutter.

‘That could be mistaken for an invitation,’Alex replied. After a nod at the receptionist, he stepped out into the fresh morning, the rain that had woken him no more than a misty drizzle by now, dense humidity more than actual drops.

‘Ah, I wouldn't want to compete with Lee.’

Lee, yes. Lee, who’d said that he didn’t want this to end. Lee, who Alex was maybe kind of in love with—because what else was he supposed to make of the radiant warmth that fluttered in his belly at even just the thought of him? And God, that sounded like a song, didn’t it? A sweet and slightly cheesy song that could be on the soundtrack to an old black-and-white film.

Get a fucking grip.

Alex tipped his face into the drizzle and took a slow, controlled breath. Already, he could feel the heat of the day lurking just out of sight, ready to press in as soon as the sky cleared, sweltering temperatures predicted for the match tonight. Hopefully, the humidity wouldn’t linger.

He set back into motion, replying to Jeff as he walked.‘Can we talk? I’m by the pool.’

‘It’s raining.’

‘It’s barely raining and there’s a canopy for the wimps among us.’

‘Insulting me isn’t half as cute as you seem to think it is.’

Alex stared at his phone for a second before he replied.‘Please?’

Three little dots showed that Jeff had started typing an answer. Then they disappeared, only to return a few seconds later. When the response came, it was simple.‘There in 5.’

The drizzle had stopped completely by the time Jeff arrived, flashes of blue sky showing between the clouds. He plopped onto a lounge chair next to Alex’s with a, “You called, my love, so I came running.”

Alex meant to counter with something suitably light, he did. “Thank you,” he said instead, much heavier than intended, and Jeff’s attention zeroed in on him.

“All right, talk to me. What’s going on?”

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