Page 43 of Be My Endgame

“I could pretend to be sorry if you’d like?”

Amusement sparked in Lee’s eyes. “A handwritten letter of apology bearing your family seal would mean a lot.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Alex let the brightness of the moment carry him forward. “But, like. What I’m trying to say is that fitting in… It’s something that matters to me. I’m not ashamed or anything—I just don’t want to be different.”

Lee fixed him with a dark look. “Welcome to my world.”

“Iknow, okay? Like I said, I fully admit that I didn’t exactly suffer here. And I also know I shouldn’t care quite that much about what others think.” Alex leaned against the side of the pool, briefly closing his eyes against the sun, warm orange flooding his vision. He continued quietly. “I know all that. But I still care.”

Lee was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, all right. And I guess your dad wouldn’t exactly throw a coming-out party if you told him.”

“I’d pay good money to see him performDancing Queenin a rainbow shirt.”

“The Sunwould, too.”

“‘Shock: Duke’s Disco Debut!’” Alex let his grin fade. “I mean, in all seriousness—my parents wouldn’t kick me out, nothing that extreme. But it would be another layer of disapproval, along with the express expectation that I’d keep it under wraps.”

“Seems like the only way you can make them happy is by means of a personality transplant.” It wasn’t said unkindly. “Maybe that’s your cue to stop trying?”

Alex looked away from the glint of sunlight on Lee’s collarbones. “Maybe.”

A server appeared at the far end of the pool, effectively putting an end to their conversation. He approached to inquire whether they needed anything from the bar or kitchen in a slightly accented English, his smile bright. They shook their heads, and when he turned to leave, Lee seemed to watch him go for a second longer than necessary. Alex followed the direction of Lee’s gaze—admittedly, the guy was fairly young and fit, his lean body tanned from the sun.

So what if Lee found him attractive? It didn’t matter to Alex.

“How about a walk?” Alex asked, and Lee’s attention returned to him.

“And they say romance is dead.” Lee appeared to regret his playful tone almost immediately, the corners of his mouth tilting into a frown. “I mean, yeah. Sure. Haven’t really made time to explore the grounds yet, and hopefully we’ll be here for a few more weeks, so…”

“Hopefully,” Alex echoed.

They traded small smiles, and when Alex turned to the stairs that exited the pool, it wasn’t just his imagination that Lee’s gaze lingered. The warmth that sparked in Alex’s belly had very little to do with the pressing afternoon heat.

After slippingon their T-shirts and sandals, they followed a winding stone pathway to a cobblestone courtyard lined by rosemary and lavender bushes, palm trees above their heads and the manicured golf course visible just beyond. The silence that hung between them was thoughtful, and Alex wasn’t quite sure how to pick the thread of their earlier conversation back up.

It was Lee who spoke first, gesturing ahead. “You ever play?”

“Golf?” Alex snorted. “With a father like mine, what do you think?”

The smile Lee flicked him held genuine warmth. “Didn’t want to presume.”

“Since when?” Alex bumped their hands together to show that he was teasing. “Golf, polo, cricket, sailing—I’ve done it all. Football is the only thing that stuck.”

“Well, you’re bloody good at it.”

Even though it wasn’t the first time Lee paid him a compliment, it made Alex duck his head. “Thank you.”

Another quiet minute followed as they ambled towards the trail that curved through the golf course, lush green contrasting with the bright blue of the sky.

“I guess there’s also…” Alex paused to sort through words in his head that he’d never put out there before. “Sorry—mind leap, back to what we talked about before. Like, me being bi. Some people think that just means I’m too scared to be simply gay, or that I can’t make up my mind. Or that I just don’t care where I stick it.”

“Yeah.” Lee swayed his head from side to side. “And some people think the Earth is flat, so…”

“But one of those things is an outdated belief that no one in their right mind would state in public.”

Lee pursed his lips, expression grave. “You mean that bisexuality is just a cowardly, promiscuous version of homosexuality? True.”

Alex let one corner of his mouth twitch upwards. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

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