Page 65 of Until Posey

Was he talking about Destiny? Why would he be searching for anyone regarding his daughter? I felt like I was missing something big here, but Hunter was Destiny’s father. Did he not want her? The thought had occurred to me several times over the last couple of months that maybe he wasn’t happy being a dad, yet his actions said otherwise. Hunter had been attentive, loving, and protective of Destiny. He took care of her better than most first time dads, and she thrived with him. I’d watched her go from malnourished to chubby cheeked within a matter of weeks.

No, he had to be talking about something else, right?

“Yes, she’s safe. What the fuck, man? I would never do anything to harm a baby. But I’m going to have to tell her the truth.” He paused again. “Fuck yeah. I know what that’s going to do. I should have said something from the start. Yeah, yeah, I don’t need you lecturing me too. Mack has done it enough. So have my siblings. I’m fucked either way.”

A lead weight dropped into the pit of my stomach. He was talking about Destiny. What was the truth? Who was he going to tell? Me? My stomach knotted and my throat constricted. His long, exhaled sigh didn’t help calm me. I wanted to run screaming from the room, go back to bed and try waking up again. Hopefully, this was all a nightmare of my induced anxiety.

Whatever his next words were, they wouldn’t be good ones or anything I’d want to hear. My heart thrummed in my throat. My hands trembled. Apprehension ripped me apart. Couldn’t this just be a nightmare? I’d wake up soon, right? None of this was real.

Instead, Hunter ended the call and faced me slowly. The agitation reflected in his hazel eyes, along with the strain of his features, only added to the rapid beat of my heart. The rush of my blood through my veins echoed in my ears even as Hunter asked me a question. He placed his hand lightly on my shoulder as if to steady me, but I only felt more off balance. It took a moment for the words to make sense, then I nodded, afraid to use my voice. Yes, I’d heard everything he said.

His body sagged, and his head dropped forward. The embarrassment and dejection rolling off him choked me as I waited for him to speak. Hunter aged ten years standing there as he did. What had I missed? The words slipped from between my lips. “She’s not yours, is she?” I don’t know how I came up with the question, or if I’d known all along and chose not to say a word. But between the conversation I walked in on and the way he stood there, two and two were four.

I didn’t need his answer to know that.

Hunter raised his gaze. “You have to understand, Posey.” I didn’t though? Nothing he had to say now would make a difference. He lied to me. Lied. He should have told me the truth.

“No, I don’t. You lied, Hunter.” I took a step back when he reached for me again. The dejection and shame on his features broke something inside of me. I loved him and this... I couldn’t come back to him because of this. “I don’t like liars. I’ve never liked them. Even told you to be honest with me.”

“I understand,” Hunter said, clenching and unclenching his hands at his side, more out of nervousness than anything. The lost longing in his tone tugged at me to believe him. Yet how could I, after everything I’d just heard? “I knew Pedro and Hope. I was undercover. Let me ask you this: where do you think I was on Thursday?”

I didn’t answer. It was none of my business where he’d been. Obviously now, I wish I would have asked. Then again, maybe I didn’t want to know the answer. “Does it matter anymore?”

He flinched. “I had to go to court because the prosecutor needed my testimony. I didn’t even know Hope was pregnant, and I never slept with her. Destiny is Hope and Pedro’s baby.” He exhaled and his whole body shook. “He abused her. I was trying to make deals with the prosecutor to get her out of the life from the second I met her. To pin everything on Pedro so she could run. Hope had her whole life in front of her. I failed her. Me. No one else. I knew what was happening because I agreed to help a friend. I couldn’t fix it all, though. I couldn’t save her. Then you showed up out of the blue with Destiny, and I knew. I knew what I was supposed to do. Hope gave me Destiny because she understood I’d protect her. Give her a better life away from the stolen cars and drugs.”

“Be that as it may,” I said, proud of myself for not allowing the emotion clogging my throat to slip out. “You lied. You have no claim to Destiny. You’ve been named the father of a child that isn’t yours and never has been. The county has wasted resources here when they could have used them to help find Destiny’s family.”

A wet grunt fell from Hunter as he scrubbed his face. I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. However, I wouldn’t allow those salty manipulators to deter me from hearing the whole truth. “She has no family. Mack helped me pay for a PI. I’ve been looking for her family since the day Destiny arrived. I told myself I’d do everything I could to locate Hope’s family so I could reunite them with Destiny. So far, nothing. There is no one.”

“There is always someone,” I said.

“Yeah,” Hunter replied with a small shrug. “Me.”

I shook my head. Everything inside of me was a twisted, jumbled mess. Of everything Hunter could have done, lying was the farthest from what I’d expected. “I can’t believe you lied to me.”

“I didn’t want Destiny to go into the system.” He turned off the stove and smoke rose from the pan. “I didn’t want her to become a statistic like her mom and her piece of shit dad. I thought if she was with me, she’d have a chance. I wasn’t trying to lie to you on purpose. I just wanted Destiny to have a better life than Hope did.”

“Lying wouldn’t have given her a better life,” I said, anger rising to the surface. “I could have done a DNA test on you. I could have put her DNA into the system and gone that route. If you’d told me the truth, we would have used our detectives to find her family. You’ve formed an attachment to a child who doesn’t belong to you and denied Destiny her actual family, Hunter. Do you know the damage and harm that can do to a child?”

“Less than not having any parents or family at all, Posey. Of everyone, you should understand that.” The snap of his words was like a whip cracking against my flesh, slicing me open.

My bottom lip trembled. I understood. All I had was Darcy because she saw me and knew what my life would continue to be like if I stayed in the system. Yes, she loved me. She’d been with me every step of the way, but after the last incident, she flipped off the system and adopted me.Me,of all people. “How dare you turn this around on me! I was sixteen, Hunter. I understood what was happening. I had a choice of where I wanted to go. Destiny can’t. She’s an almost eight-month-old baby. There is no concept of time or family for her right now.”

“Goddammit, Posey,” Hunter snarled. “Listen to me. Listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I have been searching for her family since you and Destiny arrived on my doorstep. Every day my PI has been looking. There is no one. I would have gladly given you a DNA test if you’d asked. I still will.”

“That’s not the point, Hunter,” I said, hating the fact everything he’d said so far was the right thing to do, but still technically and legally wrong. “You put me in a horrible position.”

“No, more or less the same as what you’ve put me in, Posey. It’s damnable. A catch-22. Look, I’ll always do what it takes to protect Destiny. Hope named me Destiny’s father for a reason. She had to have known. Pedro...” He scoffed. “Pedro was a slimy, disgusting forty-something year old man, who preyed on a twenty-year-old girl or younger starved for affection.”

“Still not your place to claim a child who doesn’t belong to you,” I said while warring with myself. I couldn’t refute anything Hunter said. I knew as much deep down. It had been the fact he lied to me. He’d had so many chances over the last few weeks to explain the situation. He didn’t.

“I couldn’t have told you the truth, Posey. I was undercover when all this started—when I met Hope. They didn’t release me from my duties until I testified. I even lied to my family, because they couldn’t know what I’d been up to, either. I hated not telling you or them. I detested this whole situation and wanted to tell you every day. I couldn’t.” He shook his head and the next time he looked at me, even as his chest heaved on an exhale, Hunter’s eyes were void of any emotion. I understood where he was going in his mind. He detached himself. Shut down the part of himself that was feeling anything. I fucking hated when people did that, because I did it too. “Do what you need to. I won’t stop you. I understand.”

He understood? No. He’d never even see the ramifications of what he’d done here. I couldn’t forgive him. I’d never be able to forgive him for this, on top of shutting me out. The wall between us slammed down like an iron barrier, kicking me out into the cold. Just as everyone else in my life had. But hadn’t I done the same to him the second he started speaking? I swallowed down the agony and betrayal and straightened my shoulders. “You’re not the first person to be stuck in a situation like this, Hunter. You chose your path. Now, I’ll have to choose mine. Goodbye, Hunter.”

I turned around and headed back upstairs. I needed to get out of there. Needed to get dressed and grab my things before I lost my resolve and forgave him. Even as my heart shattered, a small part of my mind insisted Hunter was right, andIwas wrong. Too bad the system and the laws didn’t work that way. This part wasn’t personal. I had to do everything by the book.

I contemplated taking Destiny with me; however, he had paternal rights over her for now, but Monday morning I’d file for those to be dissolved too, along with a DNA test. If he was being honest with me, then he’d have no problem putting his money where his mouth was. Hunter would allow me to swab his cheek and take his sample.

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