Page 65 of Prelude To You

But there I was, sitting alone in a wine-tasting room at the hotel, waiting with bated breath for Isabel to return to me.

It was a good time to send a message to my nighttime assistant, telling her to find out which place had fired their pastry chef last night. And to get whatever info she could on the pastry chef.

Other than that, my analytical mind was of no use here. None. All I could do was wait for Isabel. And I did. As ifeverything in the world depended upon her return. And so I sat there imagining how awful my evening, my week and my life would be if she didn’t come back.

If only I could take back the last ten minutes, when I told her there was no future. Could I have been any more blunt? Fuck. I didn’t want to imagine what she was thinking. Those big green eyes stared at me, a range of emotions playing over her features in a matter of seconds.

I couldn’t be sure if she was insulted or hurt. Probably both. It was like watching bone China breaking into shards so fine you couldn’t see them with the naked eye. But they would draw blood if you tried to touch them.

For the first time in my life, there was a problem I couldn’t fix. There was no previous experience to draw on. No sage advice had ever been given to me about affairs of the heart. I’d never needed it.

I was on my own, and the last person I’d ever want to be on the receiving end of this bullshit called my life, was Isabel. She needed to leave here tonight content, knowing that none of this was because of her.

The knock on the door yanked me back to now. It was the wine steward, holding out a folded piece of paper. Before I could ask, he cast me a respectful but highly accusatory look. “Your friend wanted me to give you this note. She left.”

As I took the note and opened it up to read, a jolt of cold fear hit me in the chest.

Dear Roman,

I chided you for leaving so abruptly last night,

and yet here I am doing the same. Please understand.

I’ll always remember tonight and will treasure my

French dessert book forever.

Thank you for everything.

Love,

Isabel

I was out the door before I took my next breath. She couldn’t leave like this. It couldn’t end like this. I wouldn’t allow it.

Love, Isabel.

Even as furious as she had to be, she still managed to be gracious. I didn’t deserve a moment of her time or an ounce of her affection. I couldn’t remember ever having this overwhelming feeling of ineptitude.

And then there was me trying to translate this complicated emotion buried inside of me into something I could understand. Not that any of that mattered right now. All that mattered was getting to Isabel before she left.

As much as I wanted to protect her from all the bad things in the world, it became apparent that I was unable to protect her from…me.

By the time I got to the foyer, complicated thoughts had snaked their way into my already unsettled mind. And as much chance as I gave each thought to make its case, the same verdict came back again and again.

I was completely and utterly fucked. What I could offer Isabel was beyond insulting. So far as any normal future with her went, my hands were tied.

The foyer was empty. Presumably all the Rothstein-Fauber wedding guests were safely deposited in the Grand Ballroom under heavy security. They were probably still busy with the speeches at this point, and soon the party would commence.

My gaze raked the front of the foyer, with its opulent velvet couches and massive pillars and five-foot-high carved-wood fireplaces and roaring fires, all showered in the light of hanging chandeliers. But Isabel was nowhere to be seen.

This pressing need inside of me to find her became ever more desperate, as if it wasn’t already on red alert. At the same time, Iwondered what the fuck I was doing. What was I going to say to her that wouldn’t make the situation worse?

Perhaps I should just let her go, before this escalated into something that went beyond my power to stop. I stood very still in the middle of the foyer, trying to make peace with the decision to simply let her leave. It would be the most unselfish thing for me to do, and the only kind thing to do for her.

Of course, it was terrible to know that she left here regretting this evening. And hating me. But maybe that was for the best.

I decided to show my face at the auction and then go home.

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