Page 86 of I Love You, So What?

“God, I love you,” I confidently repeat the words I’ve only said once before today, intending for her to hear me this time. “I’ll keep my promise and remind you every damn day,” I add in a whisper against her hair.

She leans her head back without loosening her hold on me, her eyes red and her skin streaked with tears.

“I love you too,” she whispers in an attempt to find her voice after crying. Before the last word is out, my mouth is on hers as if I could capture the declaration that hit me even harder than I expected. My hands run through her fallen messy bun, cradling the back of her head as if I could possibly get closer to her this way.

The second our lips touch, I feel the familiar zing I always do with her. I don’t have to live without it. Thank fuck. I pour every ounce of gratitude for that realization into our kiss, tasting her salty tears, like I did before she left Costa Rica.

Except they aren’t the same because these tears are filled with all the hope that disappeared with the last ones. Reluctantly, I pull back. As my thumbs wipe away her tears, she chuckles.

“You’re just always showing up when I least expect it, aren’t you?”

“Start expecting it.” I pause then wink as I add, “Girlfriend.” She bites into her bottom lip in an unsuccessful attempt to fight the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.

Picking up her backpack from the floor, I swing it over my shoulder. I wrap my free arm around her, kissing her temple in the process. “Are you ready to get out of here?” I ask. Her eyes are wide with disbelief as she nods, like she can’t believe I’m actually here.

She’s quiet the entire walk to my truck. I don’t push her. I get the feeling she’s overwhelmed. Hell, so am I. Of course I wanted it to play out exactly as it is, but now that it has, it’s like wrapping your head around a dream when you first wake up and wanting to drift back asleep to stay stuck in it.

Before I pull out of the parking space, I turn to her, threading my fingers with hers as our hands rest on her lap. Damn, I never thought I’d get to do that again. I need to get it together and stop getting all hung up on every single thing I no longer have to live without.

“What’s the plan?” I ask. “What time do you need to be at the rehearsal dinner?”

“Well, my plan was to go to Troy’s first.”

I freeze. “What?” She laughs, and I immediately relax. “Yeah, not funny, Maci.”

She shrugs and squeezes my hand, a smile still lighting her face. “It’s a little funny. But for real, I need to go to Troy’s. Well, Cooper’s, I guess? I need my car to pick up my parents late tonight and all my things are there with Lexy.”

“Oh yeah. I met her a couple days ago.”

“You did?” Her excitement transforms into confusion then horror at what else that must mean.

“Yeah, him too,” I answer the question I see in her eyes.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry, Dean.”

Hearing her say my name again temporarily makes me forget the topic of conversation, but I recover. “It’s fine. Troy was there as a buffer. It was a party.” I laugh, recalling the memory that doesn’t sting anymore. I steady my elated emotions before slipping into the supportive boyfriend role I want to assume for her. She still looks stressed, but I know it’s not about me meeting her ex. “Maci?”

“Hmm?” Her eyes fall to where my thumb is rubbing against hers.

“Are you going to be okay tonight?” I know it’s going to be rough. I wish I could be there to comfort her. “I’d offer to go with you, but I don’t think I should.”

“Yeah,” she says softly, meeting my gaze. “I’m… I don’t know.” She looks away like she feels guilty about whatever she’s thinking.

“Babe.” She doesn’t look at me. “Hey, come here,” I say gently and tug on her hand.

She reluctantly climbs onto my lap, and I wrap my arms around her as her head falls to my shoulder.

“Are you overwhelmed?” I ask.

She nods against my chest.

“I can only imagine how hard this is for you. It’s okay that you still care about him, Maci.”

Her head lifts slightly as she looks at me. “It is?”

“Of course it is.” I sigh, looking into her worry-filled eyes. “He’s been a big part of your life, even before you two were together. And it’s not like you’ll just never see him again. I know that. Do you know what you’re going to say?”

She shakes her head slowly, and I catch a single tear slip down her cheek before she leans against me again. “No. I’ve been trying to think of something, but nothing feels right. I don’t want to hurt him, but I know it’s inevitable.” Her voice sounds so small.

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