Page 63 of The Way We Fight

“Hold on,” I called with my tone back to its demanding level. “We aren't done, Apple. It's your turn.”

Chapter37

Charleigh

Ithought I was going for a staff meeting and ended up alone in the ring with Levi. I needed to remember to kick Bobby’s ass because it had only been one day and that wasn't nearly enough time to shake Levi from my system.

As I listened to his story, about everything that had happened, I was both relieved and saddened. Did Richard own the world? Was Levi a coward? So much so that he would rather me leave my dream job than to stand up for me and demand respect?

I got that it wasn't that easy and that he had a lot of his own stress, but wasn't it worth something to him to be on the right side of a moral dilemma? There was nothing I wanted more than to leave him in that ring, alone, and to hide away until I could decide what to do with my own future.

“It's your turn,” he said as I walked away. He used the term Apple when he spoke to me. He knew what he was doing, because that name reminded me of who I was the night I met him.

“My turn for what?” I spun around, to ask him.

“Now tell me your truth?”

“Truthfully?” I charged toward him again. “I never knew what the fuck was going on and you know it. I didn’t care what happened to you because I didn't even know if I could trust you.”

“Same for me,” he shouted. “Why risk our jobs when we don't even know the other’s intentions, right?”

I was directly in his face, wanting to punch him again just to feel the satisfaction. “Is that how you validate being a coward?”

“I’m not a coward!” he yelled. “I’m just a selfish asshole who did exactly what you did–tried to save myself.”

“Well then, we have nothing left to explain. It's not like we even owe it to each other. It's not like there was anything more than sex between us. So, let's just let it go. I’ll see you Sunday, Coach.”

“Is that why you came running in here begging me not to fight?” He asked before I could try retreating again.

“I was trying to do the right thing, that's all.”

“Why? Because we’re having sex?”

“No because…” I started to say that I cared about him. But we passed that window and I didn’t want to reopen it.

“You and I both know this isn't just sex, and it never fucking was. We can fight it until we are blue in the face, but you and I were going to end up here from the moment fate brought us back together.”

“I just want to hate you. Fighting you is easier than loving you.”

I said it, so low I hoped he didn’t hear me, but it was out there and I couldn't take it back.

“But loving you is worth the fight,” he added, moving closer to me and reaching for my waist with his gloved hand. “This has never been about what we feel for one another, it’s always been about what we aren't supposed to be to each other because of who we are. All my anger stemmed from not being able to have you, then to wanting more from you, then to protect you, then to realizing I had dug a hole so deep and all I wanted to do was to be buried in that hole with you despite the consequences.”

I leaned into him as his words were finally calm and settling my wild heartbeat. “Yet, nothing has changed.”

“I fought yesterday because everything changed, so fighting didn’t matter anymore.”

“Why did you throw the fight?” I asked at the reminder of the fight.

“How do you know I threw it?”

I backed up a little so I could look into his eyes. Our gloved hands were holding each other but I wanted to see him when he told me. “Bobby knew.”

He sighed in defeat, lowering his head a little. “I have no idea why I threw it, Charleigh. It just felt right. I was killing Sisco and before the last round, I looked across the ring and saw myself–a young guy who grew up in a rough neighborhood. Only Sisco hadn't been lucky enough to get out of trouble. He needed the payday, but more than that, he needed a win in his life. All I cared about was getting back to you, to find you, and fix whatever we may have still had. So, I let him get a hit in, and fuck it hurt.”

I laughed for the first time since I walked into the gym that evening, picturing Sisco swinging on Levi. “Is that why you gave him the money as well?”

“I don't need it. I just wanted to get to you. I also knew Bobby would be more amiable if Sisco got the win.”

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