Page 50 of Lost Boy

“What happened with you and Poppy tonight, Cade?” I whisper. “Does that have anything to do with how upset you are?”

He breathes against me, quiet for a moment. “Her brother died,” his voice croaks. “He overdosed.”

My heart sinks, but when he looks up at me and says, “Her brother was my dealer,” I feel like I’m going to throw up.

I feel awful for shooting her daggers when she was obviously in so much pain. But I’m also sick, thinking about how, whatever Cade is doing, he’s in deep enough that he knows people who are overdosing on drugs.

How the hell did I miss this? How have his friends, teammates, and family missed this?

It’s been weeks since our first hookup, but even before we had sex, we were getting closer. He was probably high every time we hung out, kissed, or had sex. And I never even knew it. I was so wrapped up in wanting the boy that I didn’t realize the boy needed my help.

“I don’t want to drag you down with me, Haley.” His hands move up and down my back. “You could go anywhere, do anything, haveanyoneyou wanted.”

“And what I want is you. You are who I want.” I hold onto him. “Just lie down with me, okay?”

If I can just get him to fall asleep, maybe tomorrow, I can talk some sense into him and convince him that he needs help. At the very least, he needs to tell Coach LaConte. He can’t fight this battle alone even if he thinks he can.

Gently, I reach down and peel his shirt off and kiss his shoulder. Crouching down, I pull down his pants, taking one leg out at a time, leaving him in his boxers. It isn’t about sex right now. It’s about taking care of him when he needs me to.

Slowly, he moves upward to the top of the bed and lies down. And once I’ve taken my own jeans off, I climb into bed, and I wrap my entire body around him.

His heart pounds against my ear, and his body trembles against my own.

And right now, I know one thing to be true: I’ll do anything to save this boy. Even if it kills me.

We need rest right now. Tomorrow, we can deal with everything else.

Tomorrow will be better.

Once again, I wake up in a cold bed, all alone. And right away, I know in my gut that he isn’t just downstairs, getting coffee or taking a shower. He left the house. I just know it.

I didn’t allow myself to fall asleep last night until I knew he was sound asleep. Yet still, he snuck out. And I’m sure it was to get pills.

My stomach turns, and I can’t tell if it’s from being worked up over everything with Cade or if I’m getting the stomach flu. But I chalk it up to being from stress. Stress induced by Cade Huff.

Grabbing my phone from his nightstand, I quickly hit his contact, but the call goes straight to voice mail. I get out of bed, peering out the window to find no one else home. I know the guys have the day off from hockey, so it isn’t like he’s going to come home just to get ready for practice.

Quickly bolting into the bathroom, I brush my teeth and pee before I head into my own room. I throw on a pair of black leggings and a Brooks hoodie and slide on my sandals. Taking off down the stairs, I run outside, beelining it for my car.

I’m going to find him. I have to find him.

For hours, I drive around. I go anywhere and everywhere I can think of. Searching for Cade, not knowing if he even wants to be found. Or at least found by me. And then after that, I drive some more.

I’ve tried to call Cade a total of thirty-eight times today. And I’ve lost count of the number of text messages I sent him. All of which have gone unanswered.

My biggest fear is that he’s dead. Or hurt and no one can get to him because, besides me and apparently Poppy … nobody even knows he’s in trouble. The stress of that makes me feel like I’m drowning, being pulled under by a current and unable to see clearly.

My stomach churns, and I feel like I might be sick. I haven’t eaten anything today because honestly, I have no appetite. And besides, how the hell am I supposed to think about eating when I have no idea where Cade is?

A few months ago, life was simple. Boring even. And now, I’m in love with someone who I’m beginning to realize I can’t save. Even if it’s killing me to admit that, even to myself.

You can’t help someone who refuses to let you.

If something happened to him, I’d be the last to find out because who the hell would think I was anyone important enough in Cade’s life to call me? I’m just his dirty little secret. And the one he knows will be there when he falls apart. Because I always am. Maybe I always will be.

As a last-ditch effort to find him, I head to Poppy’s house, knowing she lives in the dancers’ house with Sutton and a few other girls. Maybe he went to her to grieve with her over the man who had overdosed. I might not find him there, but it’s worth a shot. I just need to see him with my own two eyes and know that he is okay.

Parking in front of the house, I quickly climb out of my car and immediately see Poppy on the porch swing with a mug of coffee, her feet dangling.

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