Page 33 of Chosen Boy

“Maybe I am. But either way, if I had to choose who would love the girl I will never get to have…I’d pick my other favorite person.” He elbowed me. “I’d choose you.” He narrowed his eyes. “That is, when you finally grow up and stop being an immature dick to her.”

I rub my eyes, making myself snap out of my daydream. I’m supposed to be typing a paper, but here I am, not doing a damn thing besides thinking about the past—shit that I can’t change.

I remember that day so clearly. We met with the doctoragain.He reviewed Holden’s records and had some new scans done, only to determine there was nothing he could do. Because at that point, the cancer was in every major organ and his body was shutting down. He asked if we could go on a boat to explore the ocean some more to cheer him up. He wanted to see a lighthouse, so my parents chartered a boat to take us around Mount Desert Island, where we got to see the Bass Harbor lighthouse. It was beautiful. And so strange to look at it from the water instead of land.

When we got back on land, my mom began making other plans on what doctor or hospital we’d go see next. Dad got on his phone and began to make arrangements, and that was when Holden snapped. I’d never seen him that upset. For all of his life, he’d always been so respectful and easygoing. But his time on earth was limited, and he knew that. He didn’t want to be carted to more doctors, only to hear the same thing again. He wanted to actually live even if it was only for a little bit longer. I can so easily recall the sadness on my parents’ faces when he said he didn’t want to travel anywhere else unless it was for fun. And I remember the fear in Holden’s eyes because I recall thinking how fucking horrible it would be to know your days were limited, yet he handled it with such bravery. And that’s why my brother will always be my hero.

He died seven weeks later. But up until the day he did, my parents hadn’t given up hope. They still spent most of their time researching and trying to find someone to help him.

But he had gotten to see that damn lighthouse that day. And he smiled, a sense of peace coming over him that I had never seen before. And then…he’d told me that he’d choose me to be with Sutton fucking Savage since it couldn’t be him.

I’ve thought about that day hundreds of times. I remember the stupid shit, like him feeding the seagulls and looking at seals. But until recently, I’ve never really thought much about him being in love with Sutton since he was seven years old. Or that he gave me permission to date her. I haven’t thought about it because I was never interested in her. It didn’t matter that I had his blessing because I didn’t look at her that way.

So, why the fuck am I thinking about that conversation now?

We’re fake dating. She’s still a bitch, and I’m still an asshole. Except something between us has changed. And that something is that I can’t get her off my mind when we’re apart. And when we’re together, I’m never ready for it to end. And now, I’m guilt-stricken because despite him saying he’d be okay with it, I’m thinking about a girl that my dead brother secretly loved. A girl he never got the chance to tell how he felt because he figured,What’s the fucking point?

And that makes me a shitty brother.

I don’t want her. I want Paige. Paige might be complicating my life right now, but once she comes back to me, things will be simple. She’s not a pain in the ass like Sutton is because she wasn’t raised the way Sutton and I were. And that’s what I love about her. I just need to keep remembering that. Even when I’m dancing with Sutton and my fingertips graze her body and she looks up at me, sad eyes burning into mine, searching for whatever the fuck she’s trying to find. It’s in those moments I need to remember that she and I are too alike. It would never work because we would constantly butt heads.

Whatever she’s looking for, I can’t be the guy to give it to her. No matter what my dead brother once said.

She’s beautiful, and she’s talented and wildly enchanting. But she’s not my girl. Not my real one anyway.

My phone rings, and I look down to see my father’s name on the screen. Closing my laptop, I sigh.

I’m not doing a damn thing on this paper. Might as well answer.

“Hello?”

“Hunter, there’s the guy who’s going to make it possible for me to retire,” he jokes. “How’s school?”

He doesn’t completely mean what he said. While he wants me to be a doctor and work with him, he isn’t going to retire anytime soon. Everyone knows that. In fact, I don’t know if he’ll stop being a doctor until someone pries his license to practice medicine out of his hands. And I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon.

“As good as school can be,” I toss back, leaning back in my chair. “How’s work?”

“Busy,” he says instantly. “We’re booked out as far as the eye can see. And a day off? Pfft, forget it.” I can hear the exhaustion in his voice. “But I can’t complain. So, look, your mother and I have a business meeting in Georgia on Thursday. It’s only about forty-five minutes from Brooks. Care to meet for dinner?”

I run my hand up the back of my neck. I have practice on Thursday but will be out with plenty of time to eat dinner with them. The question is, do I want to?

“I can probably make it work,” is all I give him. “I’ll check my schedule and shoot you a text tomorrow.”

“All right,” he mutters. “What’s this I hear about you dancing with Sutton in a fundraiser?”

“I didn’t choose to work with her,” I say, trying to think if this is a good time to drop the fake-dating bomb or not. “It just sort of happened.”

“I liked Sutton,” he says softly. “I’vealwaysliked Sutton. But I worry that she’ll follow in her parents’ footsteps and try to screw you over the way they did us.” He sighs into the phone. “You know, I really thought they were going to help us with Holden’s research center. They knew it was for a good cause—a new research center in honor of your brother—and they didn’t care. They sold the land to some big corporation instead. For hardly any more money than we were offering.” There’s a short pause. “Just be careful. I know your mom and I are hard on you, but the Savages…they are on a whole other level.”

It might not be my place for me to tell him the truth about Sutton and her family’s falling-out. But, damn it, I want the world to know how truly fucked up her parents are.

“Dad, Sutton doesn’t even talk to them anymore. When she left Juilliard, they completely cut ties with her. She’s on her own. And honestly, she’s not like them. I know she isn’t.”

“Shit,” he utters so low that I barely hear it. “Sons of bitches, they are. Is she doing all right?”

“Well, yeah. But remember how she’s always had asthma? Well, it isn’t great.” I cringe, knowing I shouldn’t say anything else, but my big fucking mouth can’t help it. “I think that’s why she left New York to begin with. It was too much.” I swallow. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What?”

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