But we both know it’s too late. The damage is, most certainly, done.
Okay. I gotta play this cool.
“Oh, it’s no problem,” I say. “It was just some stupid dream that I had the other night that I decided to write down for some crazy reason.”
“I’m so sorry,” Ava replies softly. “I shouldn’t have pried. I don’t know what I was doing. I’m usually not one to sort through things like this. I am so nosey, sorry.”
“It’s okay, honestly,” I say. “I accidentally left it somewhere pretty public.”
“I didn’t read much, I swear. I literally just opened it before you finished in the restroom.”
“It was truthfully just a stupid dream,” I reply. “It’s nothing.”
I’m really trying my best here.
There’s a long pause as we both try to gauge what the other is thinking.
Complete silence.
Ava sighs and then laughs. “Getting with your professor, though? Olivia, that’s pretty damn hot, I have to say.”
“Ugh. Please don’t start.”
“Really, Olivia, I’m proud of you. That’s a top-tier, sexy fantasy.”
I shrug. “It’s also against, like,twentyrules at the university. No way something like that would happen in real life.”
“Ew, you’ve actually read the university rulebook?” she asks.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, Ava, but I’m abitof a nerd.”
“Yeah, a nerd with some delicious fantasies.”
If only she knew the truth...
I would love to tell Ava all about what happened last night for real with my professor. I would love the chance to just talk it all through. I think she would be the only person in my life I would feel comfortable sharing it with, and who would actually not overreact. It's unsettling having all my thoughts about the professor and me simply...trappedwithin my mind.
But Spencer swore me to silence with that silly NDA. I can’t breathe a word about us to anyone.
Because, apparently, all my professor and I have is acasualrelationship, whatever the hell that means.
I pick up the journal and throw it dramatically under my bed.
“Yep. Fantasies. I can have an overactive imagination sometimes.”
“You should probably stop reading those Gothic novels you love, then,” Ava says, chuckling.
“Yeah, maybe I should,” I reply with a wink. “And what aboutyourfantasies, Ava? I bet you’ve got one or two.”
“Me? Don’t you know me? I’m a pious saint, Olivia. I wouldn’t have a sexual fantasy in a million years. I’mcompletelypure.”
“Sure, sure. Well, now that we’ve explored mine, let’s have a go at yours. Open up. Spill your secrets.”
“Nope,” she replies. “My lips are forever sealed. My fantasies are locked away.”
“Aw, you’re no fun.”
“I’m not ready to give you anything you might dare use against me in the future,” she says. “Besides, I’m all tied up with a boy. My only fantasies are for him like the good girl I am.”