He was going for a run at the same time and place as I am.
I really have to ask myself; is he following me? Or am I following him?
We’re like predators circling each other.
What the hell are we doing?
21
OLIVIA
I had expected– when I pressed send - to get a response from Professor Penmayne about my coursework in maybe a few days, and certainly not the same night I dare shoot off the email. But hehasreplied. A mere few hours after my email and a few hours since I spotted him on my run around Crystal River’s park.
My inbox says that his email was sent at two in the morning. Notexactlybusiness hours for the professor. I sincerely doubt that he usually responds to his students when the moon is out and everyone is asleep.
I have a growing feeling that I may be the exception.
Reading his reply to my work in the morning, my stomach drops. I feel sick.
It’s not good. I’ve barely scraped a pass. Not typical like me to be so close to failure on an essay. It’s so very unusual.
But it isn’t the overall mark that really makes my heart skip a beat; it’s the comment down below my last paragraph. The personal comment written by my English Lit professor.
See me after class today.
That’s it.The only feedback he’s given me. Surely this can’t just be about my mark, or am I just going crazy and imagining things?
What does he want from me?
This morning, I can’t eat any form of breakfast because I’m so nervous as to what this ominous note might mean for me. I’ve never been good at accepting failure when it comes to academia, and the fact that it might be coming from this mysterious man who I may or may not have a weird schoolgirl crush on just compounds it to infinity.
I make my nauseous way to class. I sit there in my usual spot in the middle row. On my own. And I am trying my best to stop my restless leg from shaking from all my nerves.
I watch as the professor enters the lecture hall. He delivers a class with the same kind of passion he normally does.
But he doesn’t acknowledge me.
His eyes never find me in the audience. Not once does he look in my direction. It’s like I’m invisible.
Pull yourself together, Olivia. What are you expecting?
He’s talking about the use of female characters by male authors in literature.
“Men have always liked to channel their thoughts through the use of women in their novels for centuries. Their thoughts on society, wealth, politics, gender, and a myriad of issues. But so rarely do they ever get womenright, as I’m sure many of you of the opposite gender may attest to.”
There’s a chuckle from the women in the class. Professor Penmayne waits a moment to resume his lecture, confident in his authoritative aura.
“For a lot of male authors, women are represented as a goal. A thing to be conquered. Aprizeto be gained. Some of the greatest male minds in literature have fallen into the trap of treating women as the most mysterious creatures in the universe.”
“And what doyouthink of women, professor?”
The question emerges from between my lips without a second’s thought, and I instantly regret it.
And the entire lecture hall falls quiet. Even Professor Penmayne pauses.
And I freeze in my seat.
I did not mean to say that. Holy crap, I really did not mean to utter that.