Page 19 of Pride

“Yes! Because of the engagement!” Tina squeals. She leans forward, eyes going wide with excitement. “I can’t believe you accepted Antony! What’s the deal with that, Ser? Did he magic you with his muscly hotness and brooding eyes?”

I bite my lip, not knowing how to respond. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell my sister that this engagement is as fake as the jewelry Giovanni Vincenzi’s mother Carla drapes herself in. But something holds me back from confiding in her about the deal I struck with Antony.

“He didn’t ‘magic’ me,” I say, hedging. “We just… uh, came to a mutual understanding.”

Tina gazes at me, looking more perplexed and thoughtful. “Actually, the more I think about it, I bet you were the one who magicked him.” She gives me a gleeful smirk. “That hard-to-get thing you do probably worked on him like a charm!”

“I don’t do a ‘hard-to-get thing’. What are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she says, waving a hand at me. “You’re not like the other girls in our world. You’re… like,driven, or something. You’ve got other things on your mind than romance. Plus, you were away at college for a while. So you’re new blood to him. Women fall all over him like anything, but Antony is a hunter. He loves the chase. You’re probably the first girl who has ever resisted him. He doesn’t know how to stop his predator impulse with you.”

Tina’s words sound entirely too mature for her age. I fold my arms skeptically across my chest. “Where did you get all this stuff?”

“Girls talk,” she shrugs with a twinkle in her eye. “Antony has bedded more than a few of the females in our circles. Much as their fathers want to believe they are innocent paragons of virtue or whatever. It’s like those old men totally forgot they were doing the exact same thing with the girls of their generation.” Tina looks up at someone off-camera. “Hi, Mamma! I’m talking to Sera about the New York trip and her engagement!”

My mother’s face appears next to Tina’s. “Yes!” she coos, smiling broadly. “As soon as we get back, we will have to begin preparing for the engagement party!”

“Mamma,” I fret, “we can talk about all of that later. Besides, I don’t really have the time to go to New York. Daddy needs me here.”

My mother scoffs. “Serafina, that is a man’s business. He can handle it on his own.” Mamma has never taken Daddy’s work seriously. As long as he keeps her in expensive clothes and jewelry, she couldn’t care less about the details.

“Your business is your engagement and wedding,” she continues. “I am your mother, and you are absolutely coming to New York with us. There is barely any time to waste. As soon as we are back, we’ll need to start planning your engagement party. We’ll be so busy doing that, there will hardly be time to shop for what you’ll be wearing to it — or for your wedding dress! Now the perfect time to go.”

Shit. My mind starts to spin trying to think of an excuse. “Can’t we just do it here?”

“In Cleveland?” Mamma says contemptuously. “We can’t find a suitable wedding dress for youthere. There are hardly any decent shops in Cleveland. A Mucci bride must be a cut above the rest. Your wedding must be impeccable, Serafina. You willbe representing the Mucci family pride. The Mucci family honor. You must be a vision in white. A bride to be the envy of all the girls.”

Tina bounces next to her. “Come on, Sera! You have to come with us! New York will be so much more fun with you!”

I can’t believe we’re sitting here talking about this, as though there’s nothing more serious going on. There are still no clear leads on who made the attempt on Carmine Mucci’s life — at least, none that have been shared with me. “We’ll see,” I murmur. “Anyway, I need to go. I have some things I need to do. Love you both!”

“Love you, Sera!” Tina calls, blowing me kisses. Mamma gives me an indulgent smile. A few seconds later, the screen goes dim, and I relax.Whew. Conversation over. Thank God.

Still, I find that Tina’s words about Antony keep coming back to me long after I’ve hung up the video chat. How he’s a predator by nature where women are concerned. How I’ve cast a spell on him by virtue of playing hard to get.

Is that all it is, then? Was Antony only ever interested in me because I was a little more of a challenge than other women he’s been with?

God, Sera, get a grip,I tell myself crossly. This isn’t even a real engagement, anyway. It’s only a temporary. For the sake of appearances. Everything else is irrelevant. We’ve both said we’d cancel the engagement once things have gone back to normal.

But the fact remains that he was at that party the other night to present himself as a suitor. And he does need a wife. We both acknowledge that. And even though I hate to admit it, my life would be easier in a lot of ways if I was able to settle down with a husband I could tolerate.

Maybe, just maybe, the two of us getting married would be sort of a good idea?

He is a very handsome man. And I guess I’m not exactly ugly. Business arrangement or no, if Antony and I were to get married, the relationship wouldn’t just be on paper. There would be a physical aspect to it, almost inevitably.

The memory of his hot breath tickling my neck as he whispered in my ear the night of the party makes me shiver. My eyes flutter closed as I imagine what his lips would feel like there, against my skin.

I’ve always hoped against hope that if I ever got married, it would be for love. Certainly, I’m not in love with Antony. I barely know the man. But in some ways, I dolikehim. And in spite of myself, I am attracted to him. Is it possible that, in time, I could grow to love him?

But then Tina’s words come back to nag me. If she’s right, then marriage to Antony could never be something I would want. The instant I gave in to him, he’d lose interest.

But oh, how a part of me wants to give in. No matter what would happen next.

God, I feel so screwed up right now.

The fact is, I can’t trust Antony D’Agostino. And I definitely can’t let myself start having any feelings for him. It’s too dangerous to feel in this world.

For the first time, it occurs to me that if I have to marry a made man, maybe it would be better if it was to someone I have no feelings for at all.

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