Page 110 of A Clash of Stars

I had a feeling that something was off about Madok, but I could never pinpoint it, until now. It was utterly evident why he was the way he was towards me. This entire time, Evander had been orchestrating to ensure my safety. I now know who I must kill before I break the curse. Whoever is pretending to be Madok will need to be vanquished.

Permanently.

Chapter 33

We didn’t talk for a while.

Sitting in silence with someone might sound terrifying, but it wasn’t. It was quite peaceful. For the past few months, my life had been an unraveling catastrophe to which I had a front-row seat. The quiet was what I needed, a place to clear my head and my emotions. Detach from all others.

Luke didn’t bother me for the next hour or so. He went out to chop wood to keep the fire burning and started to cook something for us to eat for dinner.

The small kitchen was overwhelmed by the savory aroma of roasted vegetables and rich chicken broth that filled my senses and made my mouth water.

My eyes wandered back to those blush carnations on the fireplace mantle and glanced toward Luke, who caught my gaze. Neither of us retreated from our glances at each other. Instead, he walked toward the flower I was looking at and picked it up.

He walked towards me and placed the small resin holding this carnation in my hands. I saw the sign again etched into the gold plate at the bottom,Clara’s Flower.

“I remembered you telling me once in our training class that your favorite flower was a blush carnation. One day, I found one and decided to createsomething special for you and give it to you as a gift after the Variance, but obviously, that didn’t happen the way I planned.”

Luke was filled with regret about what occurred during the Variance, anyone could see it, but I could especially sense it.

“Luke, this is a perfect and beautiful gift. Thank you for thinking of me and remembering.”

I moved the flower around in my hand, looking at all the sides.

“Did I ever tell you why I love these so much?”

He shook his head in reply, and immediately I was overpowered with memories of my childhood and all the emotions that came with it. My eyes grew with tears as I worked up the courage to speak.

“When I was a young girl, I would run around in the fields near the castle grounds and find all the pink flowers. One day, I came across this particular flower, and I was obsessed with it. Dainty, smaller than other flowers, but completely beautiful and perfect in its own way. I would pick them, create my flower crowns, and frolic around like no one was watching. My mother also loves blush carnations, and I remember her telling me a story about them when I was born.”

I paused for a moment because the emotion was starting to take over. I had just lost my father on a day that I wasn’t expecting to. He was supposed to live forever, watch me grow up and become a mother, a ruler. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as I took another breath to continue.

“When I was born, my father was so worked up and nervous that my mother made him leave the castle and go for a walk to ease his mind. He ended up in the field near the castle and started picking all the flowers he could find. When he returned, my mother was delighted that he picked her favorite flower, the blush carnation. He didn’t realize it at the time that it was. She laughed at him and told him how much she loved him.”

I had to stop talking. Reliving this memory was hard; I didn’t want to feel this way. I am supposed to be a strong and resilient leader. Leaders weren’t supposedto show this much emotion; it was considered a weakness to others, and I was already weak enough.

“Please tell me the rest, Clara, I would love to know, and I know your father would love to hear it too.”

My eyes lifted to him in a puzzled expression. His knowing look told me what I needed to know.

My father was gone.

I would never see his smile, dance with him, or hear his laugh ever again. The tears started to stream as choked sobs came out of me. I couldn’t stop them. I have been tough way too long, and I was defenseless against myself.

Between the sobs, I finished the story.

It needed to be done.

“She told him the flower represents the concept of never forgetting someone. When you see blush carnations, they remind you of the people who are important to you, the ones you have loved in your life. My mother and father loved each other more than life itself. I can’t imagine the pain my mother is in right now. I wish I could be there for her, hold her and tell her it will all be okay.”

My sobs became louder, and Luke stepped in to comfort me. Even though I didn’t ask for help, I didn’t reject it either.

He assisted me into the small bedroom in the back of the shack, tucking me into the bed, sitting on the side, and looking out the window. My breathing started to calm, and my sobs repressed, allowing me to get comfortable. Then Luke turned to look at me.

“Thank you for sharing that story with me. You were so vulnerable with me; I should be the same as you. There is…something I need to share with you.”

My eyebrows furrowed together, wondering what else he could be hiding.

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