Page 63 of A Clash of Stars

As I turned to the following page, I realized it was slightly torn. Completely ripped out. I could see the title, though,The Lies.

Shit. I needed that page.

Chapter 17

Sitting in front of Athiana’s statue, I narrowed my eyes at her and started talking to her as if she was right there. I had a bone to pick with her about all of this nonsense. I slammed the book closed and sat it on the bench I had been sitting on.

“Why me? I have been trying my damnedest to rack my brain as to why I am the chosen warrior for you. My father overloaded me with much information, and what the abyss? You seriously made up the Variance just to develop a person to beat this ‘evil man’ who I’m sure has a damn name. I don’t understand why we’re not using his name properly so people know who we are talking about.”

I took a deep breath to continue.

“All I ever wanted was to be in love, be a great mother, a great daughter, someone others could look up to. Now I am being hunted, being tussled over by two men, and I am baffled about my purpose and the end game of this entire shit show.” I paused and looked away to hide the tears from her statue. “What am I supposed to do, Athiana? Please give me a sign or tell me. None of this makes any sense. I feel so alone in this.”

An itch scraped up my neck.

You’re not alone. You neverwill be.

I knew exactly who it was. I didn’t need to smell his scent or see him know it was Evander.

I didn’t want to respond to him. I’m sure he saw my dream, too, especially since it involved him. I was overcome with wanting to scream, cry, and run away.

You know, I saw and heard your dream. Is that really what I look like? Because damn, no wonder I affect you.

Ha. Ha. Evander. I guess we’ll ignore the part of the woman sitting on your lap.

Clara, it was just a dream. You must know you’re the only woman I want. The only woman I have ever wanted. Everything I do, the choices I make, are for you.

Hilarious. I’ve been promised a lot before, and somehow, I always end up being the one hurt. How are you any different?

The pause kept me anxious. I just stood there staring at a statue of someone who no longer existed or at least felt like she didn’t exist.

All the gods and goddesses were “resting or hiding” because they apparently couldn’t interfere with our pathetic lives, or maybe they walked among us, and we didn’t know. Who truly knew anything anymore? Maybe we all just were puppets in a game, maybe having a mate is just a made-up thing, or maybe it wasn’t.

Have you ever felt like you merely existed?

That is what this moment felt like. A pinnacle of nothingness.

I felt idiotic talking to Evander through our ‘bond,’ so I decided to find him instead. I began my turn when I was startled.

First, his glowing green eyes. Then, his luscious soft pouty mouth. He ushered towards me so quickly that I couldn’t think or react. His breath was minty with a slight hint of liquor.

What was he drinking for this early in the day? Did that dream upset him? At the time, it made me mad, but a few hours had passed, and the realization that it was a dream was precisely that. A dream.

Evander’s hands reached out and cupped my face in his hands. I could feel the warmth from him and the hands that I was slowly starting to love. I closed my eyes to take him in. His whisper flickered my eyes open to match his.

“I am different because you and I were made for each other. I would never walk away from you. I will never leave you alone. You are mine, Clara. I know you can sense this bond between us. This dream you had, maybe it’s a warning or an idea that we will need to use against the King and Queen. Whatever it is, know I would never purposefully hurt you. I wasmadeto protect you.”

He finally took a breath, “I knew you would wreck me the moment I met you. I have had so much patience waiting for you. I won’t back off now. Madok had his chance for over eight years, and his chance has come and gone.”

I sighed in frustration, “I am not a woman to be owned. I have always been able to care for myself, and I don’t need you.”

I felt like a bitch saying I didn’t need him, but damn, I knew I could take care of myself, and I was not something to be claimed. I feel like a rag doll tossed around while the kids throw me and keep screaming, “Mine! Mine!”

It’s exhausting.

His eyes sliced into my soul, “You may not need me now, Clara, but there is no doubt that you want me as much as I want you. I sense it. You don’t trust me yet, but you will with time, and I have plenty of time for you.”

He leaned over and kissed me gently on the mouth. His soft lips matched perfectly with mine, and I couldn’t deny it. Evander pulled back slightly, and his look changed, almost an apologetic look. “Please just remember, everything I do is to protect you.”

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