Page 56 of A Clash of Stars

I clinked my glass with hers, and she said, “Okay, Spill.”

Chapter 15

“The guy you saw with me earlier today, I’ve been in love with him since I was thirteen. A lot has changed since then, and he has often broken my heart. Today, he left me in the courtyard, and I was alone. Over the past few years, I felt him moving away from me physically and emotionally, but— I took a deep breath and continued. “There is someone else. Evander. He drives me stupid, always keen on giving me a headache. He is a pompous ass, smug, and… beautiful. He has made it very clear that he hates me and wants me, but he didn’t want to get in the way of Madok. I am not sure what to do. It’s all so— so confusing.” I continued to tell her more about both of them. “The biggest problem is that I allegedly have an inamorato, and neither of them are him.”

She took another sip of wine and narrowed her eyes at me. “Whew. You weren’t lying about it being complex. It seems obvious that you care about them both, but deep down, we both know who you want to be with,” Bethany spoke sweetly.

I looked at her as if she held the answer to all things.

“Let’s break this down. Madok was your childhood sweetheart, and you thought he was your entire world, your future. He broke your trust multiple times and is obviously more interested in keeping you than loving you.”

She took a sip, and so did I. I was curious about what she would enlighten me with when talking about Ev.

“Now, Evander. The way you talk about him is completely different. Your eyes glow slightly, and you smile even when you tell something about him that is unpleasant. He gives you space and trust because he knows you feel the same way. He also makes you feel reckless, and when Madok left you in the courtyard, you knew exactly who could give you the comfort you need. You’re scared of owning up to your feelings because falling in love with him is risky, and you don’t want to get hurt again. You said you know you have a mate. Well, where is he?” She laughed. “Don’t stop your life, falling in love, taking chances on something that might happen.”

She breathed, “I think…you should give Evander a chance.”

I first took a sip of the wine, then decided… what the abyss. After chugging the remainder of my wine, I thought about the correct answer.

What is right? For me? What could I do to make sure I don’t get hurt again? Yet, keeping my feelings to myself and not trying hurts me, so what was worse? Not owning up to my emotions or allowing them to flow freely from me with a chance of it ripping my heart out. I knew I couldn’t wait forever for my mate to show up. He might not ever realize that I am his.

We hung out in her loft, talking and laughing for hours. She wasn’t slightly concerned when I asked about closing her shop early. She told me she had never had a friend she could talk to this way. It had always been men around her most of her life, and one-on-one conversation about emotions is challenging with someone who doesn’t understand what it is like to be us. To be a woman.

I knew what she meant. I had only had my mother to share my emotions with most of my life, but she was more of an encourager than a listener. I could tell her that I had been stabbed and left in the woods to die, and she would tell me to look on the bright side. At least I wasn’t stabbed and left in a creek. I am notdowning my mother, but sometimes it would have been nice for her to listen to my frustrations and agree with me.

I knew I had just met Bethany, but I felt like there was a deeper connection between the two of us. As if we had known each other our whole lives but had forgotten.

“I think you might be right about this entire situation between Madok and Evander. Thank you for saving me tonight, Bethany, and for the wine. I should probably head back home,” I thanked her.

She put her glass down and stood up, saying, “I’ll walk back with you. It looks like the rain stopped, and the moon is out, so it should be a bright walk back.”

I stood alongside her, and we started our walk back. We giggled and went back and forth like old friends walking along the sidewalk to my seaside home.

“The one thing about Evander that I don’t understand is that he said he hates me, even bullied me at Sefida, and allowed his father to hold me captive at his castle. He gives me whiplash with all his different personalities.”

Bethany chucked and sighed, “Ah, men. So confusing. Maybe he feels he is supposed to hate you, but his desires overwhelm his duty to his family. Maybe he deeply cares about you, but you won’t find that out unless you give him a chance.”

I could see my home as we approached the end of the city buildings. She stopped mid-step and turned to gently grab my arm and spoke directly to my soul, “You have given Madok a million and one chance to be the right guy. He has disappointed youeachtime. You’ve never allowed Evander to disappoint you, so give it a shot, talk to him.”

My brows furrowed, and a small smile spread across my face. I nodded my head, and we began to walk again. We were almost to the property when the strong scent of teakwood filled my senses.

I turned my attention to a man standing near a grand fir tree at the edge of the walkway to the house. His long sleeve black shirt was tucked into fitted blacktrousers. As we got close to him, he was entirely out of breath. His shirt fit snugly around his arms and chest.

Was he in the rain?

Where was he, and why was he here?

Bethany said, “You must be Evander. I have heard great things about you. I’m Bethany.” She paused momentarily, smirking at me, “I’ll let you take her home from here.”

I watched her as she strode away from me, me only delaying the inevitable. After she took a few steps, I turned to look back at him.

“What are you doing here, Evander?” I said with concern and interest, but mostly interest. He took a few decisive steps towards me, glancing his eyes from my toes to the top of my head.

“You called for me, Clara. I heard you,” he paused, “I heard you crying. I immediately left where I was and headed back here to you. I didn’t know if you needed me, but I was going to come either way.”

I sighed, wanting to cry again but not out of sadness. He was worried about me, and I could read it all over his face and sense his emotions. He allowed me into his bubble to know that this feeling was authentic.

He grabbed my chin with the tip of his pointer finger and made me lift my eyes to his as he softly asked, “Are you all right? What happened?”

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