Page 55 of A Clash of Stars

We continued to walk down the street, my blood boiling because he was keeping something from me. We came up upon a small courtyard lined with shade trees and radiant-colored flowers of green and hints of lavender. Small iron tables were set up throughout, with only two couples sitting in the back corners, fully engrossed in their worlds. I sat down and took a bite of the pastry that Bethany had prepared for me.

“Wow! This is delicious. You want a bite?” I held out the buttery pastry towards him, gesturing with my eyes to taste the decadent treat.

Madok shook his head, and I could tell he was off.

“Well, if you aren’t going to tell me, I need you to return to being the old Madok so we can enjoy the rest of the day. All right?” I said.

His eyes pierced mine, “Clara, the old Madok no longer exists. Who I was is no longer who I am, just as you have changed.”

He sat back in his chair, shaking his head, and pulled half his lip up in an almost snarl as he continued, “I don’t like who I am becoming. Every day I feel like I’m losing you and am paranoid about everything and everyone. At any moment, you could be taken from me. I felt you nudge me away after kissing you outside the cafe. I also can’t stand to be near Evander, especially when he is around you.”

He breathed out these words with such anguish that I knew none of my words would comfort him.

“I’m sorry, Madok, but things are different. We can’t just kiss and act like we are madly in love. We aren’t anymore. I love having you in my life, but I don’t think I can return to the woman I used to be with you.”

He closed his eyes as he spoke, “Just like you, I’m not the same man I was. I betrayed you, and I lost your trust. I’d give anything to be your future, your husband. I know it isn’t possible, and I want you to be happy, but I can’t keep doing this act of being okay with being friends. We were never just friends, Clara.”

My brows furrowed, and my head was confused, “What are you trying to say, Madok?”

He rolled his eyes and looked away from me. He didn’t say anything at all. He just stood up and walked away from me. I called to him, but he ignored me as he exited the courtyard hastily.

There was no point in me running after him. When I looked around, I noticed the couples were gone leaving me completely alone. I sat there woefully broken. He has hurt my heart too many times now, and I should learn to expect it.

Dark clouds began to roll in, and before I could move, the sky opened up, and the rain poured down. I couldn’t move. I just sat there and began to cry in the rain. I knew the sky sensed my emotion and wanted to cry with me.

My cry grew into a sob as thunder and lightning clashed around me. At this moment, I was surprised at who I wanted.

I wanted Evander. I wanted to call out to him, but I couldn’t.

Did I want him because Madok left me or because he was indeed what I wanted?

A woman’s voice startled me as I heard yelling, “Excuse me! Excuse me!”

I looked over to see the beautiful cafe girl, Bethany.

“You should probably get out of the rain. You’ll catch a fever! Come with me, please.”

I stood up and jogged over to her, following her back into her cafe to a flight of stairs to the second floor.

I was chilled to the bone from the rain and was so thankful when she handed me some spare clothes. I changed in her small bathroom and sat on her tan suede couch when she handed me peppermint tea and a blanket.

When I finally looked around, I saw we were in an open loft decorated with wondrous artwork and painted steelwork designs. I sat on Bethany’s couch as she plopped down next to me.

“Are you all right, Clara?” she asked.

If I told her I was fine, my eyes wouldn’t tell the same story.

“No, my whole world is falling apart,” I whispered as my lips quivered slightly.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked in such a kind voice I knew she meant well. I sipped my hot tea before answering her.

“If I start telling you, we’ll be here all night,” I stated.

She leaned back on the couch and smiled, and I was instantaneously comforted by it. A voice in my head told me that she and I would become great friends, giving me a swell of happiness.

“Well, let’s get comfy. Want to trade that tea for some wine? I have all the time in the land,” she giggled.

She took my tea and did precisely what she said she would. She brought back red wine and snacks. I knew I wanted to be her best friend. She read my mind and knew wine and snacks were the way to my heart. She leaned her glass to mine, “Cheers.”

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