Page 19 of A Clash of Stars

An inamorato.

The fact that there is someone I may knowormay not know, my inamorato, the chosen one whom my soul was destined to be with, is astonishing. I had first heard of an inamorato from a story of one of the original six.

One goddess, Athiana, was mated with a mortal king, Myrick. The other gods wouldn’t allow them to take one another in the sacred marriage bond because he was not of god or goddess blood. When this happened, Athiana unleashed her powers out of her broken heart among the Land of Carondelet.

The Land was then split amongst the gods, leaving the Kingdom of Claiborne in her power. For centuries, turmoil materialized out of the Land of Claiborne, or so we were told. The stories say that when the night is clear, you can see the tears of Athiana pouring from the sky in search of her lost love.

From this thought, I decided to speak my mind. Athiana was powerful enough to cause all this chaos but lost in the end. I refuse to lose myself to whoever may be my future. When I snapped out of my bewilderment, I noticed two sets of eyes peering into my soul. Luke’s was soft and discerning, whereas Madok’s was angry and resentful.

Did he resent me? Does he know who my mate is? Is it not… Is it not him?

“I know you two are trying to look out for me, and I know you believe that someone will hurt me in the Variance. You said that the vision saw me bleeding, stabbed, unconscious, butnotdead. I won’t pause everything in my life for something that may or may not happen. How can I trust anyone with what you just told me? I have an inamorato. How long have you known?”

Madok went to speak and then shook his head. My pulse became strong and on fire in response to the cowardice. I stepped towards Madok, pressing my chest into his as I leaned into him and spoke.

“How long, Madok? Since after your coronation, I’m guessing that’s when you completely ignored me. Why would you do that? Why would you ignore me, knowing that information is vital to me? I just don’t under—”

“Because! I am nothim,”Madok took deep breaths staring into my eyes with great sadness.

My blood pulsed in my ears. That’s the only sound I could hear.

He leaned into me, eyes darkened and furious as he whispered with hurt, “Because I am not yourmate.”

I felt the ache in my chest with the final words spoken out of his mouth. It can’t be true. If anyone is my mate, it is Madok. It’s him. He is— was my best friend. We know one another inside and out.

Before I could even respond, he was gone. He left me alone with Luke, who looked pained to even look at me, as he could sense every emotion pulsing through me. I felt a tear fall on my cheek as my heart filled with an icy feeling of numbness and spread throughout every vein in my being.

I felt the warmth of a hand on my cheek before I started crying and sobbing. Luke pulled me into his chest, holding me tight with the scent of cinnamon wrapping us up, comforting me.

I spoke into his chest as my words muffled into his shirt, “I shouldn’t have pushed him. I should’ve known all along that it had to be about something important. I knew he didn’t ignore me all these years for nothing.”

Luke’s hands grasped my shoulders, pulling me back to see him eye to eye.

“Clara, there is no doubt that Madok is still in love with you. I believe he pushed you away because he didn’t want to stand in the way of fate. I also sense you are still very much in love with him.”

He paused, swiping the tears from my cheeks, then cradling my face in his large hands.

“I know that having an inamorato is nature-induced magic, but I wouldn’t waste your time waiting for this person to come into your life. Clearly, your mate is unaware of you and you of him, but don’t let that stop you from loving Madok. It would be best if you went after him, talked, try this thing between you two again. I… I hate seeing you like this and especially hate having to hear all your damn feelings. You should get a hold of those things.”

We both laughed, and my tears finally stopped. “What about the vision of the Variance?”

He held his hand up to me. “Just train as you normally would, Clara. We will figure it out.”

What can I do?

I need to perfect my sparring and agility tasks, but now those classes are over. I will have to do them on my own. I silently beat myself up for slacking when I hadthose resources at the tip of my fingers. What a birthday. I found out that I might die and that I also have a mate. Wonderful.

“You’re right. I, uh, I need to get back inside,” I said.

“Of course, Clara. I’ll be around if you need me.” Luke kissed my cheek softly before strolling back into the party, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

The sky was clear and full of stars as I searched for anything to guide me.

“What am I supposed to do, Athiana? I am so lost.”

I knew what I could control was how to prepare for the Variance. The thing I couldn’t control was the information about having a mate. Maybe Madok was wrong. Maybe I didn’t have one.

I turned my body to walk down the steps. I noticed my hand gripping the rail, and my mark was glowing.