Page 5 of A Clash of Embers

“Madok, what are you doing?”

“I— I couldn’t sleep, Clara. I needed to be near you.” She lifted up the covers for him to lie next to her.

“Can you promise me something, Mads?” He nodded profusely.

“Anything, Clara. I’d promise you anything.”

Her smile illuminated her face.

“Promise me that no matter what happens in our life, we will always find our way back to each other.” He slid closer to her, embracing her in his arms. He pressed a kiss on her forehead before looking into her eyes.

“I promise, Clara.” Then he kissed her passionately. He moved on top of her, and she giggled as—

I blinked rapidly, clearing the tears that were flowing down my tender cheeks. I wanted to show him who Evander was too, butI guess in this moment, him seeing what I know about him was more important.

Leo reached up and wiped a tear away with his thumb. He looked into my eyes, and I felt his heart reaching me. Wanting to comfort me. UnderstandingwhyI reacted to him the way I did.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t continue. I just couldn’t relive any more memories, but I wanted you to understand why I called you Mads,” I whispered.

He nodded with a somewhat blank expression, “I understand now. Why don’t you rest for a little while? I have a blanket you can use.”

I followed Leo to the rest of the group, where all the Fae took turns sleeping and taking watch. He handed me the blanket, and I wrapped myself inside it and laid on the hard cold ground. I turned my body to face him when I noticed his muddled expression and it concerned me. I wanted to know why. So, I decided to tap into his thoughts.

Now it makes sense the way she looks at me. There was a version of me that was in love with her, and I’m so fucking jealous of that version.

My eyes closed, trying to hold back the tears. The sobs.

He understood. He could see why I called him Mads. He knew that I was once in love withhim.Even though his name isn’t Madok in this world, he will always be Madok to me.

Chapter 2

Ilay there on the ground as still as possible, trying to convince myself that if I stayed like this, I would eventually fall asleep. Die. Spontaneously combust. Any of those would do.

I couldn’t do it. My mind was awake even though my body screamed that I was exhausted. When my eyes focused on the canopy above me, I noticed the openings within the trees just enough to see the soft breeze moving the branches slightly, leaving a window to the night sky.

There were bright speckles of stars peeking through, and I just knew I could find the stars that I usually searched for, but I couldn’t see clearly enough where I was laying. I needed to move.

I tilted my head to the man who had saved me. To see if I could get away with it. My eyes locked onto Leo, lying in his blanket on the ground. He looked so peaceful and at rest, and I was jealous because I wanted that for myself.

A chill hit my shoulders at the gaping parts of my clothes and it made me shiver.

I found the guard on watch, but he wasn’t paying attention to me, so I decided to get up. I’d go look for a larger opening in the trees to see into the sky.

Amari told me that if I could find the stars aligning, my mate was looking at the sky too, and I would hold onto that forever.

Slowly, I stood, trying not to make a sound.

It was dark aside from the soft glow of the campfire and the moon peeking through the branches. As I continued to search for an opening to the sky, I noticed a large gap in the trees. My eyes trailed down to the reflection of the moon’s glow off the water. Some type of reservoir. It was completely still, making the reflection look like glass. If I tapped it slightly, I wondered if it would shatter.

I stood at the shore, looking up. I explored the sky for anything that could tell me that Evander was okay, but when I saw the stars I had been looking for, they were completely still. They were so far apart, and none were even budging. As I gazed into the vast dark sky with only pockets of light shining through I couldn’t help but think back to the lake with Evander.

I had sat there and watched the sunset, the stars that aligned, with the man who I loved more than life itself standing nearby. Making sure I was okay. That night, I realized that I had never truly belonged anywhere. I went through the same motions daily, just like the stars in the sky. Never changing. Stagnant. But Evander helped me realize that I didn’t need to belong to anyone or anything, I just needed to simply exist. That I was enough on my own.

My heart fluttered as the darkened sky flickered with a singular star flashing across it. Chills went down my spine and I wondered,Could I be that star? Could I change my fate, my purpose, my reason for being?I had to know. Ineededto know if there was more out there for me.

The thoughts of Evander started to overwhelm me, my heart hitching a beat inside my chest. He always told me and reassured me that I wasneveralone and that even when I felt like I was, I wasn’t. I missed him.

Evander. If you can hear me, I love you. I need to know you’re okay.

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