Page 22 of Vineyard Winds

Rina wanted to laugh, but she kept it in. “Trust me. I’ve looked for her. I’ve used every resource I have. But whatever happened back in 1994 is not on any recording device. It’s not written in any file. It’s almost like my sister was never here at all.” Rina swallowed. “I know what you’re thinking. That my search for all these lost people is me, trying to make peace with the fact that I never found her. And you’re right. But I still haven’t found peace.”

Steve placed his hand over Rina’s on the sand. A shiver ran up and down her spine, even as she pulled her hand back and placed it on her lap. She couldn’t deal with her emotions for Steve right now.

Sniffling, Rina took her phone from her pocket and wrote a few notes to her guys in the industry. She gave them Gail’s name and information and asked for a full report of her social media files and texting. Although she’d only met one of the guys in person, she assumed they were all the same—computer-obsessed guys who liked to stay home and work cases like these.

“Okay,” Rina said. “The guys have heard the call.”

Steve shook his head, so that his curls ruffled over his ears. “Is it…” He trailed off. “I mean, what your guys do, digging around in internet files. Is it…?”

“Is it illegal, you mean?”

Steve raised his shoulders, looking sheepish.

“It is,” Rina said. “Absolutely. But in this line of work, I’ve learned that I have to get my hands dirty. I do whatever I can to bring people home. It’s so much better than the alternative— never seeing these people again. I mean, what’s a few text messages when it comes to someone’s life?”

Steve’s eyes glowed. “I agree,” he stuttered. “Thank you. Really. Claire will be so relieved you’re working on this.”

Rina imagined Claire at home, shivering as a Martha’s Vineyard snow shot down outside. It was a different dimension to this sun-speckled California day.

Again, Steve reached for her hand, but Rina shook it off and set her jaw. Steve looked like a dog she’d just whacked over the nose.

“Steve,” Rina began, her voice hollow. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Steve put his hand back on the sand slowly.

“It’s just been in a gray area for too long.” Rina continued. “And it hurts too much.”

Steve dropped his chin to his chest and sighed deeply. The tension between them was so stiff; Rina felt she could pop it like a bubble. She touched his shoulder in a way she hoped was friendly, not romantic, and said, “But we’re going to find Gail, okay? And we’re going to stay friends.”

Steve’s eyes glinted. Rina wanted to scream at him, to tell him that his back-and-forth, will-they, won’t-they parade had shattered her heart. But ultimately, the truth was far more complicated.

“You’ve been such a wonderful friend the past nine months,” Rina breathed. “I needed a haven. Somewhere to hide from my life, from everything that happened with Penny and my parents, and everything that happened with Vic later on. I truly feel like a different person because of you.”

It was bizarre to speak such truths to Steve. They’d waded around the truth since they’d met one another, neither willing to acknowledge it. But everything had to come into the light now. Now that they would be nothing to one another but friends.

Friendship was so important. Why did it always play second fiddle? Why was romantic love supposedly so much stronger?

“I understand. I really do,” Steve said. He sounded like he had a frog in his throat, and his cheeks flashed crimson. “And you saved me from myself, too. More than you know.”

Rina chuckled sadly. She had the urge to fall back on the sand and roll around, sobbing, like a woman who’d lost her mind.

“You should stay in California for a few days,” she said, surprising herself. She genuinely didn’t want him to leave yet. “You’ve never been here before. And I think you’re due for a vacation.”

“All those times I forced you to come out to Martha’s Vineyard to see me, I could have been here in the sun.”

But that wasn’t the truth. In actuality, Rina had darted across the continent to Martha’s Vineyard any chance she’d gotten. She’d probably forced herself on Steve, even when he hadn’t wanted her. She’d tried to mold a romantic relationship out of nothing like some kind of fool.

“Come on,” Rina said, popping up and dusting the sand from her pants. “I assume you’re hungry?”

Steve laughed sadly. “Are you just saying that because I’m always hungry?”

“It’s standard for you, Steve.” Rina’s smile felt made of plastic and apt to melt off her face. “There’s a taco place just down the road. I should warn you, though. West Coast tacos are a different breed from East Coast ones. Prepare your palate for the experience of a lifetime.”

Steve followed after her, and their shadows danced beside them, clambering over one another. In telling Steve what was on her mind, Rina felt a weight had been lifted from her chest. He understood how much she cared—and that she couldn’t care this much anymore. It was destroying her.

ChapterEleven

Long after Charlotte, Rachel, and Abby fell asleep that night, Claire tiptoed down the hall and crept into Russel’s office. The clock on the wall read three thirty in the morning, but Claire felt starkly sober and more awake than ever.

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