Page 120 of Made to Sin

Her betrayal felt worse than the gunshots I took to my actual back: heavy and piercing. Yet when her eyes turned teary, I wanted to hold her and tell her to go ahead and do it over again if it made her stop crying. She was far too beautiful for tears.

Since I only made it worse, I left.

I drove to the club with every intention of getting some work done. If I was busy, I wouldn’t have time to think about her or her future departure.

Instead, I drank myself raw and yelled at anyone who dared enter my office. I hadn’t gotten drunk since I was a teenager, and my father had beaten it out of me. As expected, the exception was when it came to her.

The woman had me wrapped around her little finger.

Night wasted into morning, and although there were no windows in the basement, my body had a natural clock that didn’t let me sleep past eight in the morning.

Waking up on a leather couch with a raging hangover was not ideal, but it distracted my thoughts from reverting to her. I ignored the pounding in my head and forced myself to get ready. Then, I rummaged my desk drawer for a painkiller, swallowed the pill with some leftover whiskey, and drowned in work.

The sorry cycle repeated for as long as I could stay away. Two days and three nights without Katarina scoured me dry. Surviving lonely nights off of alcohol and cheap takeout was terrible. I wanted nothing more than to go home, eat home-cooked meals, fuck her raw, and fall asleep with her in my arms.

Though for once in my life, I didn’t want to think about myself. If she thought escaping theCosa Nostrawas what she needed, I was going to make sure she accomplished it.

But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I should let her go, I became a bigger hypocrite. I didn’t care if it meant I had to trap her in a cage somewhere, I wouldneverlet her go.

If greed killed me, I was going to drag her to Hell with me because it was Hell on Earth when she wasn’t nearby. If my obsession was the catalyst to my downfall, so be it.

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I should have learned my lesson the last time that giving Katarina space was utter bullshit. Maria just sent me an update about her well-being, but it didn’t calm the rush in my veins. I knew the lady would lie for Katarina if she asked.

The slight idea that something happened to Katarina or that she already left rose panic up my chest. Three days was more than enough time for something to happen… something like her leaving me forever. I might have hated the idea of her leaving, but I hated ending things off with a fight even more.

Fuck, what was I thinking?

I bolted out of the office and raced home, driving more recklessly than normal. My chest tightened as I imagined the worst-case scenarios.

The relief only came when I opened the door and saw her belongings still scattered around my house. I hadn’t appreciated a bottle of white nail polish as much as I did today.

The ringing in my ears momentarily paused, and the sounds of the shower running came through. It eased some tension off of my shoulders, but I had to be sure.

Cautiously, I opened her bedroom door, physically relaxing once I saw the fullness of it.

She was still in New York.

If she wasn’t, a sinister part of me knew there was nothing in this world that could stop me from finding her. There was nowhere she could run that I wouldn’t drag her home. I didn’t give a shit if it made me psychotic as it was she who made me crazy. Over my dead body will I give her up.

Walking inside just to be surrounded by her scent, I sat on the ottoman and waited for her to come to the same realization.

It wasn’t until another forty minutes before the water shut off. That explained why my water bill had been on the higher end for the past few months.

What a little nuisance she was.

It would have been more beneficial for both of us if she was gone. In fact, that was what Dante advised yesterday. He called her a distraction, and it was what got him punched square in the jaw. It didn’t matter if I thought so too, only I could call hernames. The apathetic fucker laughed, saying I was pussy-whipped, and earned himself another punch.

“Luciano?” Katarina’s faint voice interrupted the memory.

I looked up, and there she was, prettily standing less than a few feet from me. A jolt of happiness electrified my body as I took in every square inch of her. Instinctively, I wanted to run to her like those romantic movies she loved to watch, but I held in the dramatics by clasping my hands together.

“We need to talk.”

“Okay,” she mumbled.

I became aware of her every movement as she walked closer. Her bare feet padded on the wood until she sat on the edge of her bed in front of me. Fighting the excruciating urge, I refrained from reaching out and touching her. If I didn’t contain myself, this could easily become a disaster.

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