Page 117 of Made to Sin

“I need a change of scenery. New York is getting too bland,” I partially told the truth, partially lied.

“Be sure to come to visit sometime. And, most importantly, if you become famous, you better remember me. Even better, match me with one of your famous friends.”

I laughed and promised her I would.

—

At home, I spent the whole afternoon drafting the exact plan Ineeded once I got off the plane at LAX. I went as far as booking a red-eye flight to arrive early to have a full day in the new city.

Talking to Emily solidified my goal of making California a reality. I was getting too comfortable again, and if I didn’t leave soon, I was afraid I never would.

The first few days weren’t ideal, but if I could find a place to rent and a job, I could work from there. If not, hopefully, I had enough saved up to survive a month at a cheap motel.

The door opened and closed from behind me, and I assumed it was Maria. She knew about my plans, so I didn’t bother hiding them.

In the middle of highlighting the important details, I asked, “Aren’t you leaving early today? Did you forget something?”

Silence.

That was odd. Maria always answered me, even when she was late. I spun around, wanting to see what distracted her.

Except the person standing there wasnotMaria.

Standing rigidly at his six-foot-something height, I faced the don people warned me to fear. With an emotionless face and steeled eyes, the person I saw was not someone I recognized.

Guilt submerged me the second we made eye contact as his detached voice echoed through the chambers of my mind. “What is that, Katarina?”

The yellow highlighter I was holding slipped from between my fingers, and I stopped breathing as if I saw a ghost. The rest of the world unfolded in slow motion, each second stretching out like a bad nightmare.

“Luciano, I can explain.”

“LUCIANO, ICANEXPLAIN,” I frantically stood, trying to reason with his hard expression.

There was me speaking without thinking again. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to explain. There was nothing to say that he hadn’t already read off the page.

I closed my eyes for a brief second and prayed this wasn’t how it ended. It was my fault for keeping it a secret. If I had come out with it since the beginning, there would be nothing to feel guilty about. But I was selfish, piling everything until it collapsed.

Volatile emotions permeated the air between us, the tension radiating off his body was tangible. His voice was cold and distant, the voice of a don. “You’re moving to California?”

Don’t use that voiceI silently begged. He was so nonchalant, I hated it. I rather him yell at me, be angry. Anything but the indifference he was oozing.

“Yes,” I admitted solemnly.

I wished I could have said something else to make the situation better, but it would have been more lies. I dug myself a grave, and I was going to reap what I sowed.

“Why, Katarina? Did I do something?”

The stoic expression on his face remained, but the pain in hiseyes broke my heart in two. The gray pools held swirls of indecision and vulnerability. Luciano was hurting, and I was the cause of that.

“No, it’s not you. I’d planned this for months—”

I closed my mouth when I realized what I admitted. Great way to shoot myself in the leg.

The hurt was replaced by judgment. “Months, huh?”

Please don’t look at me like that, like you’re disappointed in me.

My soul pleaded for forgiveness as a turbulent tear slid down my cheek. I could take the brunt of his lashing out, but I couldn’t stand it when he looked at me with such distaste.

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