Page 116 of Made to Sin

My heart stopped.

“I was more worried about not having a chance to ever give it to you. But then you arrived at my doorstep asking for a place to stay, and it was as if fate wanted you to have it too.”

Then, it exploded into thirty-five million pieces that all fell by his feet.

Breathlessly blown away by him, I slammed my lips against his. My pent-up emotions, my unsaid thoughts, my unrequited feelings leaked from my mouth into his.

We shared a passionate kiss, but it didn’t lead to anything more. I didn’t complain. Instead, he held me in his lap, and we skipped the sex to the conversation that usually happened after.

I continued stuffing my face with the chocolate cake and wine as he sipped on his whiskey. Though in the embrace of one of the most dangerous men in the nation, I never felt more cherished in my life. I couldn’t blame my heart for falling in love with him. Hell, my mind’s resolve was fading a piece at a time.

Who would have thought I would be spending my twenty-fourth birthday laughing at random topics with a mafioso don while Chuck confesses his undying love for Blair on the screen in the background?

—

“I think I love him,” I blurted to Emily the next day.

She dropped the blouse she was sorting and whipped her head to me. “Kat, you can’t say stuff like that without context. Who, what, when, where, how?”

“Luciano. I think I love him… since like last week. Long story short, I had a panic attack, and when he was consoling me, I realized my feelings for him were stronger than normal, and I don’t know… It’s all a big blur,” I rambled.

Emily squealed before breaking into a large grin. “See! I knew this would happen eventually.”

“Shh, don’t draw too much attention. I wouldn’t put it past him to know everyone here that could report.”

She failed at hiding her giggle but thankfully, quieted down. “Why do you sound miserable about it? Isn’t love a good thing?”

I sighed and picked up another pile of clothes to sort through. Love might be a blessing, but not when it was tainted by theCosa Nostra’stouch. In my case, it was an unyielding obstacle.

“There’s no point in feeling this way, Emily. I’m leaving by the end of the week anyway.”

She frowned. I couldn’t distinguish if it was because it was my last few days at the organization or if she felt sorry I was in a tragic love story. Both were pitiful.

“Well, did you confess to him?” She asked.

“No, of course not.”

“You’re missing your shot. This could be one of your dark romance novels where the girl falls in love with a mafia boss. Who knows, maybe someone will write your book someday.”

I loved talking to Emily, don’t get me wrong, but she was too optimistic sometimes. If Luciano and I had a story, it wouldn’t be in the romance section. It would be for mothers to lecture their kids about impending heartbreaks— and crime.

“He can’t even tell me he likes me more than a fuck buddy. The other day when I told him I couldn’t stand to be in another empty relationship, he said, ‘Okay,’ and that was the end of that. If I admit that I love him, I might as well give him a heart attack.”

“Maybe he’s just scared.”

Scared? He said the most outrageous things when I was married and in front of my husband, how bad could admitting he felt something for me be? If there was one thing I knew about Luciano, it was that the man was fearless. I bet even fears were scared of him.

I weakly smiled a smile that didn’t reach my eyes, not wanting to crush her innocent heart. “Maybe, but I’ll be better off finding a surfer in California.”

“I guess, but either way, don’t be too sad. I heard there were lots of handsome men in California.”

She had only seen pictures of Luciano, but I wanted to guarantee her there was nobody more handsome than he was. I was always comparing other men to him, and it was getting to a limit that scared me. What if I never find anyone better?

No, Katarina, abolish those thoughts. This wasn’t about him or any other guy. Moving is going to be a fresh start for yourself.

“I bet,” I deflatedly said.

She comfortingly shrugged. “I’ll miss you a lot. You sure you can’t stay longer?”

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