“Are you sure?”
“Yep,” I squeaked, doing a horrible job of lying.
He looked like he was about to call me out on it, but thankfully, he chose not to. “Whatever you want.”
His eyes continued searching my face for clues of thedemeanor change. I diverted my gaze, pretending to look for the remote as he pulled me back into his chest.
“Gossip Girlit is.”
“Perfect,” he mumbled as he planted a kiss on top of my head.
Though fear coursed through my body at the acceptance of my feelings toward him, I didn’t want the moment to end. I wanted to remain cuddled up with him, remain in his arms. I felt safe there, and it had been too long since.
I hungrily relished in the comfort even though I knew I shouldn’t. Like the show playing on TV, everyone blamed Blair for choosing Prince Louis over Chuck, but who could deny the feeling of security when it came knocking at your door?
I peeked over at Luciano, at my security, and saw a tranquil look on his face. Maybe I wasn’t selfish, and he needed this too.
God, I was going to be the cause of my own destruction.
I knew it was a mistake to fall in love with a Made Man. I should have stopped the silly crush before it grew, stopped it before there was anything more.
Regretfully, I didn’t.
I wanted Luciano so badly, I broke my own rules. The abandoned girl was tired of being unloved, willing to do what it took to feel an ounce of his affection.
As I dozed off, I allowed him to carry me to his room and play with my hair until I fell asleep. Not a single square inch of my body protested when he wrapped an arm around me and held me like I was something to be lost.
I couldn’t place where the night fit into our relationship, but it was starting to feel like our old routine. For the past weeks, we remained housemates, boss and employee, and basically anything without commitment. Yet in less than twenty-four hours, we were opening up about our traumas, sleeping with each other, and being touchy for nonsexual reasons.
The switch-up was too much, and I didn’t know how tohandle it. If I stayed where my heart was, I would let myself be swept up in the same mess as the past five years. I couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t fall back into a loveless relationship.
With apprehension creeping into my bones, I made my final decision. Despite the gaping hole in my chest, at the end of this month, I was going to leave for California and start fresh.
As a compromise with the side of me that refused, until then, I was going to enjoy what we had going on. It might be the most gut-wrenching heartbreak once it ended, but what was another?
So be it if the consequences knocked me off my feet and straight into the devil’s arm. I rather live a life of painful experiences than crowded regrets anyway.
I was right, he was harder to quit than cocaine.
THEPASTWEEKHADBEENthe ultimate bliss.
Luciano and I lived like we were a young couple in love— a game I was starting to have trouble separating from reality. Everything between us wasperfect.
I told him weird facts about myself, he told me random tips to be a reputable Made Man. I complained about my books, he said I read silly things. I got drunk at the club, he took me home.
My feelings for him doubled, tripled, quadrupled in size. It only emphasized the pain I would feel by the end of the next week, but that was a problem for later. The moments right now were too precious to mar.
I gasped as he walked through the door with a box of Chinese takeout, a small cake, and a present.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
He set the items down on the kitchen island, and I ran over to hug him. His musky scent ambushed my senses as he engulfed me in his arms.
Lifting my head from his chest, I asked, “How did you know it was my birthday?”
He smirked. “Employee forms.”
That sounded like a violation on so many terms, but Idoubted that he cared about the law as much as I did. Exhibit A: his occupation.