Page 20 of Billionaire Babysitter

“Okay, here’s the deal,” she says, clenching her fists hard. “You go check on Ava, and if she’s woken up, make sure she’s okay. I’ll wash up.”

“Actually, no,” I say, puffing up my shoulders. “You do the washing up, then you go check the kid. It’s the job I’m paying you for, isn’t it? What’s the point of you if you won’t do stuff for me?”

She physically recoils at that, flinching backwards like I’ve hit her. Immediately, a wave of guilt hits me; it’s heavy and consuming, and it makes my stomach turn. Worse, Chloe and Noah both look up at me with sad, judgmental eyes.

I have to get out of here.

“I’m going to my meeting,” I say, despite the fact that everyone knows I don’t really have a meeting. I’m not used to being made a fool of. The feeling of it creeps around inside my chest like a rat, threatening to gnaw my bones down into guilty points.

I turn on my heel and storm away, not waiting to see anyone’s reaction. I don’t need them to look at me like I’m doing something wrong. This ismyhome. Shouldn’t I be able to do what I want? Shouldn’t I be able to pay whoever I want to do stuff for me? Somehow, this is all getting harder and harder to justify to myself.

Somehow, my position at the top of the world is being threatened, and the very ground I’m standing on is starting to crumble before me.

CHAPTER 13

SOPHIE

I’m pleased to see that Chloe and Noah have a favorite book. It seems like a cynical thought to have, but I didn’t really think children read that much anymore. But they seem to have both packed a little library of books into their suitcases, which makes me smile every time I see it.

What’s even more surprising is that every night Noah has asked me to read to them, and Chloe — despite her best efforts to seem completely disinterested — has leaned in to listen too. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of these books that Noah is reading were hers in the first place.

We’re reading a particularly engaging tale about dragons and knights, and I have to say that I’m getting swept up in it too. It’s exactly the kind of book I would have read as a kid. I used to love books about adventures in far-off places and people doing heroic things for people they love.

The chapter we’re on is kind of heartbreaking, actually. The little boy has just become best friends with the dragon after a whole load of trust-building, but now the evil sorcerer is threatening to end the entire world if he can’t be in control of every dragonin the universe, so the dragon is offering to sacrifice himself in order to save everything that little boy knows. It’s a noble, touching, and heart-wrenching act.

“And that is the end of the chapter,” I say shutting the book on the cliffhanger of the dragon heading out on the presumably fatal quest, despite the fact it’ll almost definitely be a fake-out. Noah groans in disappointment, and Chloe lets out a sigh too. “We can have another chapter tomorrow,” I say. “We don’t want to rush it.”

“But I want everyone to be okay,” says Noah.

“Don’t be silly,” says Chloe rolling over in bed. “The good guys always win in stories. There’s no way they’d actually kill the dragon.”

“Don’t spoil it!” yells Noah, flapping his arms around in distress.

I press a finger to my lips, gesturing to Ava, who’s asleep on the sofa bed. Noah bites his lip to silence himself. “We can finish the rest tomorrow,” I say “Or at least, we’ll do another chapter. We’ve only got a handful left to read.”

“Then I get to pick the book,” says Chloe.

“If you want to,” I say. “But make sure you don’t pick something inappropriate for your brother.”

Chloe hums and then nods, her face twisting into an expression of deep contemplation. It’s not that I think anything she would read would be inappropriate for her brother; I’m just trying to instill in her the good manners of considering other people.

“Okay, you guys. Need anything else before bed?”

They both shake their heads, their eyes heavy with tiredness. Now that’s a feeling I understand. These last couple of days, I’ve been more tired than ever.

Not only is Lucas giving me a new project to start working on, but he’s been almost completely absent from looking after the children. I don’t know why he insists on pretending to have meetings when we all know he’s looking for any excuse to scramble away from our company. It’s incredibly frustrating. In fact, I’m so sick of it, I feel like just upping and leaving without warning — and if it weren’t for the fact that the children need me, I think I probably would. But I don’t want these kids to die, so I feel like I have to keep looking after them.

It feels like I have no choice.

The last two weeks have been some of the most rewarding and absolutely exhausting weeks of my entire life. Plus, I’ve become less and less afraid to tell Lucas where to shove it lately. Even if I haven’t actually said those exact words to him, I’m not hiding what I think. But no matter how much I try to get him to involve himself, he still doesn’t respond. It’s like he has absolutely no awareness of the impact he’s having on me. At least, I hope it’s ignorance. Because if he just doesn’t care, that would be worse. I don’t know why I’m still giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t really think he deserves it.

“Okay, then,” I say. “You just come and get me if you need anything. You know where I’ll be.” They both nod, and Noah yawns again. “Good night, then,” I say brushing my hand over both of their heads before I get up and tiptoe out of the room, turning off the light behind me.

My room is just opposite theirs, and my entire body is crying out for me to go and lie in my bed. But there’s something in my toesthat feels restless. Like I won’t really be able to settle until I do something I know I have to do but don’t really want to.

So, I let my feet take the lead, turning down the corridor until I’m standing in front of Lucas’s door. I take a short breath, then rap on the door with a knuckle. I get a confused, “Come in?” in response and I push open the door as calmly as I can before slipping into the room with a grimace.

“What’s happened?” Lucas says, not even bothering to look up. Just like last time, he’s lying there as casually as can be, snacking and watching TV and drinking his beer without a care in the world.

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