Page 72 of Valentine's Slave

“I smoked socially. Weed was the only drug I smoked alone.”

I nod, and he goes on.

“One night in February, Michael was crying. Emilia took him to the kitchen to get a snack for herself while she fed him. That’s when Nico broke into the house. He shot Emelia three times in the chest and fled. She dropped Michael, who had also been hit, and by the time I got there, they were both nearly gone.”

I cover my mouth with my hand. Just imagining that scene is horrific.

“While I was trying to bring them back, two of Nico’s cronies broke into my room and trashed the place until they found my stash,” Valentino said. “They got to both the drugs and the cash and took it all. I was left with nothing that night. I did time in jail, but Marco pulled some strings to get me out faster. If it wasn’t for him, I probably never would have recovered.”

“And Emelia?” I ask.

“She went into a coma,” Valentino said. “Michael died on the spot. Emelia was in the hospital for one week. On the night ofFebruary the 14th, she woke up just long enough to look into my eyes and take her last breath, and then she was gone.”

“Did she say anything?” I ask.

Valentino nods. “She said, ‘It’s you.’ I don’t know if she realized what had happened. She seemed disoriented, as if she were trying to find her way.”

“So that’s why your ritual lasts a week,” I muse. My heart breaks for young Valentino.

“Yes. I refused to see it, but it was always based in shame. The only week I allowed myself to have the intimate company of another human being was during the week that my wife was still alive. She died because of me, she and Michael, both.

“That must have been a nightmare,” I murmur.

“I didn’t even have enough money to pay for Emilia and Michael’s funerals. Emilia’s family never spoke to me again.”

“And I guess you didn’t really have any family.”

“None except for Marco,” Valentino says. “After I got out of jail, he was there for me. He took me in and gave me another chance, another shot at college and a future. He believed in me and helped me make something of myself.”

“Is he the one that got you into stoicism?” I ask.

“Yes. But I still hunted down Nico and killed him, slowly. I was incredibly angry back then. I tried to drown myself in women, even though I was far from a conscious lover, and I did them more harm than good. At certain points during our last night, I was like that with you—disconnected and bitter.” He looks deep into my eyes. “I’m sorry, Ava. It won’t happen again—I promise you.”

I feel the depth of his words, and tears fill my eyes He truly cares for me. He’s cared for me this whole time.

“What were you angry and bitter about?” I ask. I don’t bother to wipe my tears away. Valentino is being real, and so am I.

“My feelings for you,” he says quietly, as if the concept is still something new for him to say. “During the whole week we were together, I was in denial about my feelings, but on Valentine’s Day morning, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I also couldn’t accept them, so I became angry. I wanted to punish you for being so sexy and smart and sassy and unforgettable.”

I smirk through my tears.

“That’s why I didn’t plan even dinner that night,” Valentino said. “I wanted to show you my dark side, to use you without mercy and drive you away.”

“But why not just accept your feelings?” I ask softly. “What’s so bad about admitting that you like someone?”

Now I sound like Malcolm. The kid should be a relationship councillor.

“For years, I was convinced I couldn’t be with anyone, and that I didn’t want to be,” Valentino explains. “That was my excuse, but the real reason was that I felt undeserving of a relationship. I was ashamed of what happened to Emelia and Michael and of the ways I treated women in the past.”

“You mean in your rituals?”

“No, before that. After I got out of jail, when I was floundering around without purpose or direction, I caused a multitude of harm. It wasn’t until I got more serious with college and the stoic philosophy that I gained any kind of purpose. That was when I started telling myself that I didn’t need a relationship, that I was better off without one. Consciously, I believed it. Subconsciously, it was my self-inflicted punishment and payment for my sins.”

Things make more sense now, especially our last night.

“And what changed with me?” I ask.

Valentino runs his finger down my cheek. Marcus Aurelius once said, ‘Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you.’You were sent to me by fate, Ava, and I could not and cannot control my feelings. I want you, and I’m not fighting it anymore.”

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