Page 97 of The Blonde Identity

But Zoe stepped away. Just one step. Just a few inches. And yet it was like watching her fly down another mountain she went so far so quickly. She was instantly out of reach.

“I love you.” Her voice was softer and her eyes were closed. “But I don’t trust you anymore.”

It was the most pain he’d ever known. Real and physical and deep until all that was left were broken bones and split skin. He was bloody and mangled and never coming clean. They were just words. And they were going to leave a scar.

“Zoe...” he said because it was easier than arguing. “You have to trust me.”

“No.” She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t.”

“Then why... Why call me if you don’t trust me?”

She looked at him like he really must be a moron—like the answer was so clear and just right there.

“Because you want the drive. That’s the one thing I can count on. Ever since Paris... I was always looking for my sister, but you... You were always looking for the drive, weren’t you?” Her voice cracked and her hand shook as she rubbed her runny nose, but he didn’t bother to answer. “It’s the one thing I can count on.”

“You can count on me,” he told her, but she didn’t say a thing. And then a new worry grew inside of him. “Do you have it now?”He couldn’t keep the fear out of his voice, and she couldn’t keep the irony out of hers.

“Of course that’s what you’d say.”

“That drive is poison, Zoe. It’s a target on your back and you need to give it to me.”

“Why?” She gave a quick, cold laugh. “So you can give it to Kozlov? Maybe hand it over to the CIA or MI6. Or Mossad. Or—”

“Of course I’m going to hand it over! That drive is how we get rid of Kozlov. It’s the only way we...” He ran a hand through his hair. He could have told her a hundred lies in a half dozen languages, but, right then, the truth was the only thing that mattered. “It’s how we get free. It’s how we get safe. That drive is everything.”

I love you. But I don’t trust you anymore.

“Listen up,Mr. Spy Guy, that drive might be your freedom, but it’smy sister’s life. So forgive me if I don’t tell you where it is.”

He didn’t even try to hide how much that hurt him. “You know me, Zoe.”

“Do I?” she bit back, stronger now. It was like she was still rolling down that mountain, momentum taking over and picking up speed. “Who are you, Sawyer? Really? Are you the guy who said I was just a waste of time and ammunition or the newlywed who dipped me on the dance floor or the man who held me in his arms and told me that I was beautiful? Or are you the thug who works for Kozlov? Huh? Who are you? Because I watched you turn into that guy right before my eyes, and I realized I... I love you.” Her voice trembled but her eyes were like steel. “But I don’t know the real you at all.”

There were birds in the trees and children shouting in the distance, but the world was suddenly quiet and still and achingly empty.

“No, sweetheart. You’re the only one who does.”

Zoe closed her eyes and Sawyer couldn’t stop himself from inching closer—from reaching for her—from needing her skin against his.

“I know Alex didn’t trust me for a while there; and I get why you’re hesitant to trust me now. But I’m not the villain here, lady. I’m just a guy who saw twelve pissed-off Russians and had to play it by ear.” He blew out a frosty breath. “I get that it probably looks like Ididn’t choose you. But I watched you almost die a dozen times, Zoe. And I wasn’t gonna do it again. I can’t. I won’t. So I’m going to keep you safe, sweetheart. And then I’m going to earn your trust.”

She was just right there. He had to make her see... “There’s no place I won’t go and there’s nothing I won’t do to prove myself to you.”

It was like she couldn’t hold his gaze. Like it was too hot. She had to put it down. And she seemed almost nervous to admit, “I was going to go to the embassy...”

“Good! Okay. Let’s do—”

“But then I realized that Alex didn’t trust the CIA. And she didn’t trust you. But you know who she did trust?” She gave a laugh that was part hiccup and part giggle and wholly, completely lovable. “Me.She trusted me. So I’m going to trust myself.” He watched her straighten her spine and summon her courage, and he loved her so much it hurt. “So I need you to listen very, very carefully and do exactly what I say.”

Her

He said he loved her.

She said it back.

Zoe honestly didn’t know if anyone had ever said those words to her before. She definitely didn’t know if she’d ever hear them again. But as she sat in the back seat of a taxi fifteen minutes later, her fingers were on her lips, like the words might still be there—like she could touch them. And she was amazed to realize she was smiling.

She tried to stop. She really did. Because it wasn’t theI love youshe would have written. But, somehow, that made it better. Somehow, in spite of everything, it was really, really good and that made it really, really scary and she started freaking out for whole new reasons.

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