Page 100 of My Shameless Angel

“What about your wife? What happened to her? Does her condition now have anything to do with that?” I nod.

“Yeah. She heard every word Dominic said, and it drove her mad. Apparently, she’s been in love with him for a long time, but he wasn’t interested in marriage, so she married me to stay close to him. Landon, before thirty years old, was a hopeless romantic and a trusting fool, so it’s safe to say that Dom wasn’t the only one who lost himself that day. None of us ever recovered.

“He lives in a special clinic for disabled people. Jenn tried to commit suicide three times, unsuccessfully, and after that, she took up drinking. Drank herself into the form she’s in today with constant seizures, inability to take care of basics tasks, and now a coma.” I close my eyes and run my hand through my hair.

“As for me, I lost any resemblance of humanity and faith in…well, anything. I lived for the sake of living. Fucked and used other women shamelessly, taking out my frustration and anger on them,” I sigh. “I decided to use others like I’ve been used.”

“How does my father come into all of this?” Lexi asks.

“My family hired his law firm to represent me in the case, thank God, because otherwise, I don't think I would walk away just like that from the shit situation I got myself in. But that was the last time I spoke to my own parents.” And that was that. I lost not only my best friend and a wife of seven years but my parents as well.

They called me a monster, a killer, and cast me away. They no longer had a son by the name of Landon Locke. He died.

Lexi looks at me with pain in her eyes, and I hate that. I don’t want her to pity me. I’m not exactly without blame here. “Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t feel bad for me, please. I was stupid not to notice all the signs, not to realize I was being played for half of my life.”

“Okay, I’ll just be hereforyou,” she says, and I close my eyes in silent prayer. This woman sitting by me is here just for me.

She is not judging or pitying me. Lexi is just here.

Slowly, she comes closer and sits right next to me. Our thighs are touching, and she drops her head on my shoulder, interlacing our fingers together in a firm grip.

Oh, how I craved this touch for a whole week. How I dreamt of it each night. Just a simple touch, nothing more.

I’m afraid to get my hopes up, but I can’t help it.

Does this mean she is willing to try again? She forgives me? I don’t know if I can survive without Lexi in my life, so I’ll just have to keep trying until she finally takes me back. I’ll try every day, week after week. Month after month, I won’t give up.

“So, now you know. I am married, but I’m not at the same time. I stayed with Jennifer because she needed to be watched with all her suicidal attempts.”

“You are a good man, Landon Locke. I don’t know many people who would stick around after all that. I really don’t.” She pulls her head back and looks over at me. “What now? What is going on with Jennifer?”

“Her last seizure was the worst, and it deprived her brain of oxygen for quite a long time. She’s been in a coma ever since it happened, and the prognosis isn’t looking good.”

“Why did she do this to herself?”

“From what I could get out of her, she loved Dom too much, and hearing his confession, it was all just to stick it up to me killed her. Not only did she lose a man she loved, but the guilt of what they did to me started to eat away at her.”

She blows out a loaded breath. “This is not what I was expecting as an explanation.”

I take her face into my hands. “No matter what happens next, I know that I cannot live without you, Alexandra Ellis. You are the moon of my life, my sun, and the stars. I know what I did is inexcusable, and I withheld a vast part of my life from you, but I hope you find it in your heart to try again. I pray that one dayyou will be able to trust me again because, for me, there is no life without you.

You brought me back to life, and I refuse to live it without you. Take as much time as you need. I will always be waiting.” I plant a gentle kiss on her nose, get up and leave.

Please, don’t give up on us….

34

LEXI

Song: Rosenfeld – I Want To

Time? Time?

Screw time, screw pride, screw everything.

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