Page 58 of Lyrics of Love Unheard

“Hey,” Tristan said, drawing my gaze to his. “You don’t have to sell us on Jordan. Anyone who makes you feel safe and like you can breathe is okay with us. You were right before. He was kind to me today. I have to get used to his version of caring. I’m much more open with my emotions and need to remember not everyone is the same.”

“Thank you,” I whispered and continued. “One night I was out before I started working at the club, and there was this voice behind me. I knew the timbre, the way he said my name. Immediately, I was transported back to the locker room in high school. He was there again, and I froze. Every part of me locked up tight in fear. He came for me. Shoved me against the brick wall and got into my face. He ground himself against me and told me he was going to follow through this time. In my head, I screamed for him to get away from me, to leave me alone, but I couldn’t move or get a single sound to escape me. I couldn’t do anything but stand there and silently cry. He mocked me for it. Called me names as he roughly undid my jeans and dragged them down. He spun me around and forced me to bend over, but that was as far as he got because one of Jordan’s men was there, pulling him away from me.

“I don’t remember much after that. Everything was a blur as I shook, and panic took over. Jordan stayed by my side throughout the night. When I woke in the morning in my bed, he was in a chair beside it. He told me it would never happen again, and he’d fired the guy who was watching me for not being there sooner. He also said he dealt with the asshole who attacked me. I didn’t ask how, didn’t want to know. Now I have Bruno. It’s alot to have him shadow me like he does, but there’s comfort in having him there.”

I released Dash’s hand and swiped at the tears rolling down my cheeks. They now knew my past, the rest of what I hadn’t told them before. They knew why I had anxiety and when it started.

Dash stood, drawing my attention to him, and stripped off his shirt. He held his hand for Tristan’s, who did the same, his shirt leaving his body. They both looked at me, waiting for me to get on the same page as to what they were offering. This wasn’t about sex or getting off. They gave me themselves to help soothe my inner turmoil and to let me know they were still here, still solid in their love for me. Nothing had changed.

I stood on shaky legs and took my shirt off as well. Dash stepped close to draw me near and move behind me so he could engulf my back. Tristan was in front of me, opening his arms and taking me into them, holding me in a different way than Dash, but no less comforting.

Dash was solid at my back, his arms like a steel band around me, not cutting off my air but grounding me, keeping me in the moment. Tristan’s embrace was gentler, more reassuring. Together, they formed the perfect circle of love, keeping me in the middle, offering me the support only they could.

Jordan, my mom, they’d been there for me repeatedly. Dash and Tristan would be there from now on. I wasn’t sure how I knew for certain, but this wasn’t just a relationship like any other. I couldn’t give them up any more than they could me. The love I felt for them radiated from every part of me. I wanted to be with them night and day. There was still so much we hadn’t done yet. Dates and adventures yet to go on. Long mornings spent in bed, wrapped in each other.

“Don’t leave,” I whispered. “And if you do, take me with you. I don’t want to be alone.”

“As long as we draw air, you won’t be,” Dash promised.

“I won’t always be this needy,” I murmured.

Tristan placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “Be as needy as you want. I’ll be there with you because I can’t get enough of you two. I’ve never felt like this, like every time we’re away from each other, there’s a hole inside me.”

“Thank fuck,” Dash said. “I thought I was the only one. This love is huge, and I never want it to end.”

“Then it won’t,” I told them. “I’m in this forever. I mean it. You both accept every part of me, and I accept all of you. There won’t be anyone else I’ll feel this way about.”

“I’d ask you two to move in with me, but I couldn’t pull you away from Jordan.”

Having Jordan nearby was a comfort, and his guards. I’d gotten used to being here and having my mom drop by as well.

“What if we alternate places?” I asked. “We could stay here some nights and others at your house. Maybe the nights I dance, I come home to you two at your place since Untouchable’s across the city and closer to where you are.”

“And I’ll be here the nights you don’t work or when you two don’t want to travel to me. We’ll figure it out.”

“What about when you’re gone?” Tristan asked Dash.

“I talked to the guys about it the other night. Reed and Cas will want to bring El on tour. If you two want to go, I’ll be happy to have you there. I just hope Slay falls in love before then or he’s going to be miserable. I don’t want to see him like that.”

Tristan grinned. God he was beautiful. “Then we’ll help find someone for him.”

“He needs to get over Reed. Even if he doesn’t fall in love, falling into bed can be just as good.”

“Speaking of…” I pressed back against Dash.

“Hell yeah, angel.”

27

TRISTAN

The words Romeo spoke, the hell he’d been through, I wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let go. He kept so much inside, this fear that could cripple him. It came out in his anxiety, and his panic attacks.

I’d read where people would tell those with anxiety they needed to relax. They didn’t understand a thing about anxiety. If the person experiencing it could relax, the panic attacks wouldn’t happen. It wasn’t helpful to say those words. They meant nothing because relaxing during a panic attack wasn’t possible.

Seeing Romeo go through them, how they tore at him, and made him shake and sometimes cry, I wished I could take them on. That I could remove them from him, so he didn’t have to suffer from them any longer.

He got through talking to us, exposing his soul, his past, and his trauma. He did it with Dash and me beside him, lending him any support we could. We held him and loved him, showing him how much we cared. Romeo wasn’t his anxiety. It was a part of him, but he was so much more than that.

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